Twelve-year-old Phelan was adopted as a baby. His adoptive parents talk openly about his adoption, but he has questions they cannot answer. Will he be tall or short when he grows up? Do health problems like diabetes, high cholesterol, or cancer run in his biological family? He wishes he could ask his birth parents, but he is not allowed to know who they are.

Phelan’s situation is called a “closed” adoption. This means the child and the adoptive parents have little to no information about the birth family and no contact with them. Phelan’s birth records will be kept secret for the duration of his life. Phelan’s situation is relatively rare for modern adoptions, though it used to be more common. Now, only about five percent of U.S. adoptions are closed. In some closed adoptions, the child’s birth records become available once they turn 18. Many adoptees seek out information about their birth families later in life. One study found that 94 percent of birthmothers were pleased when their adult birth children found them.

Some people believe that all adoptions should be “open.” This means that the child can communicate with their birth parents and learn information about their birth family. In these cases, the child and the birth parents may exchange emails or photos or arrange to meet. Some birth parents consent to open adoptions because they still want to be involved in the child’s life or at least know that the child is safe and well. Some adoptive parents choose open adoptions because they want their child to have answers to all their questions. Ongoing contact allows adoptees to learn updated medical information from their birth family. Also, understanding where they came from may help adoptees form a positive identity. In fact, studies show that adoptees who have contact with their birth parents are more likely to be satisfied with their adoption.

Other people say that closed adoptions should still be an option. Some birth parents believe it will be too painful to see the child they placed for adoption. In some cases, birth parents may not tell friends or family that they have had a baby. These birth parents may say that they have the right to privacy. They may choose a closed adoption to ensure the adopted child cannot contact the family and reveal the secret.

Sometimes, adoptive parents are the ones who want a closed adoption. They might fear tension between the two families. They may worry that the birth parents will disagree with the adoptive parents’ parenting decisions. In some cases, adoptive parents fear that contact with the birth family may not be healthy or safe for a child.

Should all adopted children like Phelan have the right to know their birth parents? Or should birth parents and adoptive parents have the option to keep adoption information private?