Dating violence is a pattern of emotional, verbal, sexual, or physical abuse intended to control a dating partner. Dating abuse is common among people of different races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, genders, and ages. Surveys of adolescents who have dated indicate that more than half have experienced some form of abusive behavior from a dating partner. While the behaviors vary, the physical and emotional consequences are serious. 

Abusive behaviors can be hard to identify. People who experience dating violence may not talk about it or seek help. They may downplay it as no big deal. Some victims hope they can change their partner’s behavior. Abusers sometimes accuse their dating partner of triggering their anger, implying the victim “caused” the violence. As a result, victims often have a distorted view of their relationship. Victims may also fear that if they try to leave the relationship, their partner will come after them. 

Sometimes dating abuse is obvious, such as when a physical assault causes visible marks. But at other times, warning signs are less obvious, such as making excuses for a partner’s behavior, worrying about making a partner angry, or spending less time with friends and family. Even when there are clear signs, knowing when and how to intervene can be difficult. Friends are most likely to be present when dating violence occurs. But they may not know if and how to intervene. Some worry that speaking up will trigger more abuse. Others fear that, by raising the issue, they will lose the friendship. 

So how should dating violence be addressed? Some think that we need to raise awareness. They believe that dating abuse occurs because few people discuss it or know about it. They think fewer teens would be abusive or ignore abusive behaviors if they understood that these behaviors are inappropriate and not normal. 

Others believe that distorted ideas about relationships will not be changed through raising awareness alone. Some think that the best approach is to prepare teens to identify the signs that a friend is in an abusive relationship, and to intervene when it occurs. If teens know when and how to intervene, they can support their friends to seek help. 

Still others believe that the responsibility for intervening should not be left to teens. In some cases, intervening could trigger more abuse or make the situation worse. These people believe that the best approach is to encourage teens to seek help from a professional when experiencing abuse. 

What do you think? Would raising awareness reduce dating violence? Or should the focus be on intervention once abuse is already occurring? Should we be teaching friends and family when and how to intervene? Or should we be telling teens how to seek professional help?