November 21st

By Yaz Awcrushed
January 10, 2024

Nov 21.

7:38

Even now I think about

the first time I vaped 

and what I could have done

To make it work out.

9:10pm

I tried to take it but I couldn't.

That it would be a dumb decision.

But I do it all the time.

Makes me feel as if I have 

a problem and can’t talk 

To other people.

I can sleep okay without 

It now compared to before 

But I question it.

Sometimes the small sensations

come in bit by bit.

Am I going to stay

up late for it?

For a sense of relief?

But For now I rely on it.

I don't know how it will end.

I don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow.

I do know that it's time for me to sleep.

Pass the vape on for tomorrow.

Or the day after.

But when I get a text from what I've been waiting for,

My eyes start to water.

As it's more painful with an answer. That I fell back in.

Then to question all the good decisions

For myself.