Avoidant Attachment

By:  Alice Pham
February 10, 2025

Avoidant Attachment

What is it?

Avoidant Attachment is the inability to bear both emotional and physical connection. When one senses too much intimacy, it signals them to take a step back and rekindle. I was once in a situation where I got overwhelmed by the amount of affection given to me and did not want to continue. You can come across as having an avoidant attachment based on your living situation, and childhood trauma both physically and mentally. You may not be used to showing and receiving affection, so when experiencing this, it hits a nerve and indicates you to not go any further but avoid the situation overall.

Experience

As someone who has dealt with avoidant attachment, I must say that keeping relationships is difficult whether it’s with your significant other or friends. I have always felt as if I were to get too close and show my vulnerability then I wouldn’t see the end of it, I would go into a spiral if it were to end badly with that person. By having that thought in mind, I keep a distance when I feel like we’re getting too close. It’s not really about the connection but more about how you perceive life and your thought process when it comes to real-life situations. Your mind can play tricks on you to think otherwise, causing a series of emotions and confusion. 

Symptoms

• Commitment Issues

• Trouble maintaining emotions

• Fear of abandonment 

• Fear of intimacy 

• Avoidance of physical and emotional closeness

• Independent

• Distancing

• Difficulty in expressing emotions

How to help with an avoidant attachment style

• Improve communication skills

• Practice showing your vulnerable side rather than hiding it

• Talking to a therapist or counselor