Gretchen Rose Newmark

On retreat for my 40th birthday at the flower-filled Malibu, California, Franciscan renewal center overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I encountered my first female pastor. I felt a sudden, deep stab of desire to be a spiritual leader. It seemed like a joke because although I had a long-time meditation practice, and Buddhist teachings rang true to me, I had looked unsuccessfully for a teacher and had not found a Buddhist tradition I could access. I couldn't imagine how I could ever inspire or lead others.

Five years later while we walked in the cold, dark and hard rain very early one morning my friend Kathleen said, "I'm going to take a course and you've got to take it with me." Regardless of having no idea what she was talking about, I heard a huge "yes" inside. I immediately applied for what turned out to be a two-year course--in spiritual direction.

I loved every aspect of the training, especially having my own spiritual director, a former Jesuit priest, Jack Kennedy. He helped me see that despite not having found the teacher and tradition I deeply wished for, my spirituality and practice were worthy of my respect and recognition. I think it's not coincidental that in the same year, I finally met my teacher, Lama Ole Nydahl, and Karma Kagyu, Vajrayana (Diamondway) Buddhism. He was the first Westerner I had found who made this seemingly foreign tradition accessible and who, with his wife, Hannah, made easily available the view and practices that suffuse my life with meaning and direction today.

But at first Tibetan Buddhism seemed very exotic none-the-less. It was my next spiritual director, Bill Zuelke, another former Jesuit priest, who helped me discern that exotic as it might seem, this was indeed my path. I began the foundational practices (Ngondro) of Buddhism in 1997 and did some of that early practice in Israel. I recognized there that the traditions of my Jewish father, Southern Baptist mother, Episcopal Church and Catholic education were, at their Middle Eastern roots, at least as unrelated to me as Tibetan Buddhism. The Buddhist view fit my own, and I felt completely at home in it.

I completed my Spiritual Direction training in 1997. The course at Namaste center embraced all traditions. Since then, I have been honored to listen as people explore their spirituality. It is my passion for spirituality and my own practice that most vividly inform my work, both counseling and spiritual direction. And I love helping people create an enduring meditation practice.

I think spirituality is cultivated though practice--repetition that creates real transformation. Some of us feel at home in the tradition from our family, but others of us need to experiment to find what truly fits. Part of my guidance as a spiritual director is to help people discern what if any, spiritual tradition, community, and practices will enable them to transform into their freest and most joyful selves.

In 2006, my lama asked me to become one of several hundred people in our Buddhist school who travel and teach in our centers. It is a great honor. The deepest joy of my life is helping make Buddhism available to anyone who might be able to use it.

So in spite of my initial skepticism, thanks to my precious teachers I have become a spiritual leader, able to be an example, inspire and provide guidance. All of my wishes in this life have come true, save one: that everyone is happy and completely free of suffering.

Honored by: Diamond Way Buddhist Center and Jack Mason