Goldie Stampfer

The glass dessert plates rest in the cabinet these days, their yeoman days in the past. A nice tall stack, about 30 of them, with their matching glass cups nearby. It's a simple, yet elegant design -- oval-shaped, with an indentation for the cup on one side. There's room for the fruit and the cookies, yet the cup of tea or punch is supported.

The rim of the plate is wide enough to accommodate a balancing thumb, so it's easy to manage seated or standing. It's made of strong, thick glass -- a well-made platform, not easily broken. The cups are also sturdy, yet delicately shaped. They've served a thousand guests from a hundred different places, then washed, dried and put aside ready to be used again.

They speak of Mom. Lovely, sturdy, elegant, functional and, most importantly, hospitable, gracious, welcoming, always ready to report for duty and serve, always ready to discreetly retire out of the limelight.

I take a plate out of the cabinet and allow it to sparkle, let it balance in my fingers, tracing the gentle curves, the hints of all the people, young and old, who have passed through this home. Like Mom, the plates don't trumpet their presence; like Mom, they underestimate their contributions. "I live to serve," must be their motto. "I'm happy if I've been able to feed you, to warm you, to make you feel welcome."

Goldie's gift is the way she makes it look so easy, the way she makes guests feel that they've made her day just by showing up. It isn't always so easy. She gets tired and cranky like everyone else, but she'll set it aside. It isn't always so easy putting so many other people first. But, in the end, her accomplishments and successes, her intelligence, her desire to help, her kindness are as clear as the glass dessert plates.

In another era she would have been recognized as an accomplished executive -- didn't she brilliantly administer Camp Solomon Schechter for so many years? She could have been a writer, a politician -- didn't we witness her passion for making the world better, read her carefully crafted letters?She would have been recognized as a social worker -- all of the phone calls, rides provided, food prepared, problems solved, programs chaired, work accomplished. But we were blessed with her in an era where all of these gifts were freely lavished upon so many by a generous and wise heart, regardless of career or degrees.

Even though she may be unable to recognize all she's done, I hope that, at the twilight of the day, she can look at those who love her -- generations of family and friends -- and say "It is good."

Goldie in her own words: "If you want to hold something, like a handful of water, the only way you can really keep the water is if your hand is cupped and slightly open. If you try to hold it and grip it tightly, it all disappears. I thought that was a lesson in parenthood too. Sharing something terrifying can make good friends out of people."

Biographical sketch: Goldie Goncher was born on October 5, 1922, in Atlanta, Georgia, where she lived with her immigrant parents, Sam and Ida, and sisters, Lottie and Alice; her brother Meyer died in a training accident during World War II. Goldie's deep dedication to the Jewish people led her to Brandeis Camp Institute, where she met a like-minded chemistry student, Joshua Stampfer. They married in 1944 and shortly thereafter they jointly decided that he would go into the rabbinate. They spent 1947 in Palestine where they actively participated in efforts to establish the State of Israel.

Rabbi Stampfer's first pulpit was in Lincoln, Nebraska; they moved to Portland in 1953, along with their three sons, Shaul, Meir and Noam. Their two daughters, Nehama and Elana, were born in Portland. In 2004 the oldest of their 20 grandchildren gave birth to their first great-grandchild.

Goldie took leadership roles in Neveh Shalom congregation, and served on the national board of the Women's League for Conservative Judaism. For many years she served as an unpaid administrator for Camp Solomon Schechter, a labor of love that helped shape generations of Jewish youth in the Pacific Northwest.

Goldie opened her home to all who needed her and graciously hosted an endless stream of visitors. She brought her passion and strength to every organization she was affiliated with. A portrait of Josh and Goldie hangs outside the Stampfer Chapel at Neveh Shalom today, recognizing Goldie's unique contribution to the growth of the synagogue.

Goldie was selected to be honored on the Walk of the Heroines by Kol Isha, a women's group formed in 2000, because of her profound influence on many of the members. Goldie told many stories, including the following, which epitomizes her optimistic, humor-filled, and wise approach to living: When a wealthy congregant bemoaned Goldie's lack of a fur coat, Goldie hastened to reassure her: 'Oh, no, I have really nice one. We call it "the piano."

Written by her daughter, Nehama Stampfer Glogower