The Importance of Connections with Other Members of the DHH Community

Mentor All-Stars & Special Guests

Question: How important have friendships with other people who are Deaf/ hard of hearing been in your life? What benefits have you experienced as a result of being connected to other people who are Deaf/ hard of hearing?

Julia's Perspective

From my experience, I have never had friends who are Deaf/HOH outside of this group. All of the Deaf/HOH individuals I've met have been through my Itinerant Teachers at Peel District School Board, but it can be a challenge to keep in touch outside of school. I would love (and I'm sure others too) to have more friends who are Deaf/HOH because there's a special connection and an ability to relate on many levels. I love the initiatives you're doing to keep connections alive like the DHH Gala and PDSB DHH Pen Pal Program.

Rimal's Perspective

I've spent a few days thinking about the social connections question. I don't think I have much to comment on it since the only connection I have with other youth who are DHH is from this group, but outside of that, I don't really have a DHH buddy. I am really glad that the Peel District School Board and You Are Hear are helping students connect with other students who share similar experiences with events like the DHH Forest Gala. Having this group has been great for me just to not feel like I'm the only one who has to go through this, as most people in my day-to-day life don't have any background knowledge about the DHH community.

Kellina Powell's (A.K.A. @deafqueenboss) Perspective

Friendships with other Deaf or hard of hearing individuals can play a crucial role in the lives of people who are Deaf or hard of hearing. Based on my experience, since I didn’t have any friends who were Deaf or hard of hearing, it was a challenge. Below is why it is important to have friends who are Deaf or hard of hearing.

Social Support: Friends who are Deaf or hard of hearing can provide valuable social support. They understand the unique challenges and experiences related to hearing loss, fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance. I didn’t have any friends who could relate to my struggle and I felt like I couldn’t get advice on how people navigate or learn new tools.

Shared Understanding: Friends who share similar experiences can offer a deep level of understanding and empathy. They can relate to the daily communication struggles, experiences with discrimination, and the need for accessibility. I always wish I had friends who can understand. Yes, I did struggle to have hearing friends to understand how it is important to look at me while talking instead of always asking them to face me while speaking. Even during my high school times, it was difficult. High school is where most people find it difficult to have no support system. My advice is to go and find a deaf community centre or even join summer camp geared towards people who are Deaf/ hard of hearing. I love summer camp.

Mentorship and Guidance: Established friendships with Deaf or hard of hearing individuals can provide mentorship opportunities. Those who are more experienced in navigating the hearing world can offer guidance, advice, and practical tips for overcoming obstacles or achieving personal goals. Having a mentor can help you in the long run. I never had one but if you are looking for a mentor, I am happy to be your mentor. Check out my website: kellinaempowerment.com

Language and Communication: Being connected to other people who are Deaf or hard of hearing can help individuals improve their communication skills in sign language or other modes of communication. I really wish that I could have friends who sign because it is important to have that access. Now that I am an adult, I wish I could go back and make sure I was still connected to the Deaf community and learn ASL. ASL is part of your identity and nobody is not forcing you to learn ASL. But it would be great to have a second language. I can be sad at times when I can’t communicate with those who only use ASL.

Overall, friendships with other Deaf or hard of hearing individuals can bring immense social, emotional, and practical benefits. These connections help combat isolation, provide a support system, and create a sense of community among people who share similar experiences related to hearing loss.

For more information about Kellina Powell, visit her website by clicking on the button below.

Kellina's Empowerment & Consultation

Ms. Walsh's Perspective

I love that you are having conversations about mental health and the importance of surrounding oneself with people who may share similar challenges. Those connections are so important in learning how to navigate tricky social situations, and share strategies. It is very easy to become frustrated and exhausted having to explain hearing needs over and over again. Sometimes families don't always understand unless they, too, have a hearing loss. This is where surrounding oneself with folks who experienced similar frustrations is very important.

Personally, I found staying in touch with DHH (Deaf and Hard of Hearing) people after annual socials and joining a strong community support network called VOICE for Hard of Hearing Children (www.voicefordeafkids.com) made a world of a difference for me growing up Hard of Hearing. In my hometown, VOICE used to host a picnic every June for all DHH students and their family. They also hosted a Christmas party at the local school which was a wonderful way for families to connect with each other, connect with Teachers of the Deaf/ hard of hearing, and learn ways to repair communication breakdown strategies. My friends and I used to look forward to these gatherings and would write letters to each other talking about what we would do that day. We all still talk to each other on a weekly basis at least.

Also, my parents found it helpful to meet adults and teenagers with hearing loss through VOICE and ask them questions. They didn't know anyone with a hearing loss before I was born, so navigating the hearing journey was overwhelming at times especially when we didn't have internet. Building a support network with other parents was very important so they could learn about ways to access support, and how to tap into funding for Auditory Verbal Therapy.

I would love to see a similar social network in Peel region for our DHH students and their families. If folks from Peel District School Board are interested in volunteering to help run biannual meetups, email me. Together we could form a great social network and raise more awareness.

Ms. Slessor's Perspective

For me, personally, I grew up with other family members who were also DHH, so I am fortunate to not have been alone in that regard. As an adult, I understand and appreciate the importance of connecting with others who have similar lived experiences as it can feel really lonesome and "not normal", especially to teenagers who are coming into their identities.

I will share a few memories from different parts of my life of opportunities to connect with other DHH people:

Elementary school:

I remember my itinerant teacher trying to connect me with a new grade 5 student coming to my school when I was in grade 8, and I remembered being excited at the idea of being a mentor to this student, but our lives and identities were so vastly different from one another, that nothing ultimately really came of it.

High school:

I have a similar memory of my itinerant teacher introducing me to another grade 9 student with hearing loss when I went off to high school, but again, we were very different people from different social circles, that it never amounted to more beyond the initial introduction.

University:

One memory I can recall is when I went off to university. I met someone who I could tell was so excited to meet someone else with hearing loss. I connected with her a little bit, but I remembered being put off by the constant conversations revolving around the challenges we face; it was a bit of a mood-killer. It felt like the only reason we were connected was for that. At that point in my life, I was searching for friendships that were beyond my hearing loss. While I'm still in touch with this person over social media, I feel like our friendship didn't blossom as much as it could have because what we were looking for in each other was different.

Post-secondary:

I was working on my post-baccalaureate education program that gave me the qualifications to work with students who are DHH when an opportunity for young adults arose through the Canadian Hard of Hearing Association (CHHA) to meet in Ottawa for a 3-day conference. I decided to go, not because I wanted to go for personal reasons, but because I thought it would help advance my perspectives professionally. I met some incredible people and it became much more than just a professional gain for me. For some of these people, it was like the girl I met in university - yearning for someone to relate with about hearing loss. For many, it was just a social event that happened to foster learning opportunities. I met quite a few people with whom I connected very personally, even beyond our connection of hearing loss. Today, I am still in touch with many of the other attendees over social media (we're from all over Canada), and it's actually a really nice support system to have in my back pocket if I feel I need to talk to someone who is similar in personality to me with similar lived experiences.

So, to answer your question (thanks for reading this far!): my initial response was that friendships with other DHH people haven't been all that important in my life; but after writing out all these experiences that I was able to recall with vivid detail, I realize they definitely do hold a very quiet, but important space in my life's values. Those kinds of friendships are indeed important; they're just one small part of my intersectional identity 🙂

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