Placentas come with strings attached
Placentas come with microplastics
The weight placed on my chest fills up all the hollow parts
Makes solid what was in limbo for 31 years
The gauze, the tape and the pads that span a thigh bone
Irrevocably stitched up with eternal company, alongside ceaseless guilt
Ignorance is the sweet spot, may you rest here while you recover
Playing pattycake while good intentions leech
Sealing the PB&J in a Ziploc of certainty, sticky remains for generations to come
Batteries pop easily in and out of the bubble machine
Thoughts of corrosion covered seamlessly by the crescent of your grin
By the unparalleled magic of your naked dance
Praising your patience while soiled wipes build landscapes in the living room
Two sticky tabs, a splash of chlorine, a few drops of pigment
Multiplying the source, while shifting it’s make up
The danger of alchemy lies in the ease of the boxes appearing at the door
Unpacking pressed forms that mimic hands holding you up and swinging you about
Dismantling the ozone layer in the silence of our savored sleep
Do not disturb what little joy I have come upon
The weight in my arms is but an extension of Earth herself
Is this not what she wanted?
To forever change, to challenge, to divide and diminish?
To overcome, to adapt and eventually erase this bratty breed?
Just one more Amazon order
Just one more trip to Target
-denial of a single-use mother
Description
Deciding to become a parent comes with deep joy alongside guilt in many forms. Feelings of guilt related to climate grief are vast: how many diapers we throw away, how many plastic toys we buy, our ignorance in how destructive our purchases are, and most importantly what kind of world we will be leaving behind for our children. This poem is an ode to the dualities of motherhood, and a reminder that the scales always tip to the selfish love for our own.
Artist's Bio
I am a poet, textile designer and mother of two living in NE Portland. I find inspiration in reflecting on the modern American dream and the culture of motherhood. Over the past five years I have taken a variety of writing classes through PCC's Community Ed program and loved every single one. I hope to be a life long student.