Lesson 3: Chatting & Red Flags

Essential Question:

How can you tell when an online relationship is risky?

Learning Objectives:

• Identify the types of messages that might cause a red flag feeling for someone.

• Use the Feelings & Options thinking routine to analyze and respond to a situation involving a red flag feeling.

Review Vocabulary:

grooming: When someone older uses chatting or messaging to befriend and manipulate a child or teenager into an in-person meeting for the purpose of sexual abuse or sex trafficking

red flag feeling: When something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, worried, sad, or anxious

Think about:

What do you share through digital media: text messages, social media, messaging apps, etc. How much of the real you comes through? How is the you that you present through digital media different from the you face-to-face?

Watch​:

Reflect on the video:

• Think about how the chat messages in the video are misleading. This shows an example of a very dangerous kind of online chatting called grooming, which is when someone older uses chatting or messaging to befriend and manipulate a child or teenager into an in-person meeting for the purpose of sexual abuse or sex trafficking.

• Even though these kinds of messages are not obviously bullying or insulting, they may result in an uncomfortable or negative feeling. These are called red flag feelings, which occur when something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, worried, sad, or anxious.

• Chatting with strangers is not the only type of situation that can cause red flag feelings. Sometimes, you might experience red flag feelings when chatting with people who are closer in age and possibly even people you know in real life. For example:

• If someone asks you to do something you're not comfortable with, like sharing a photo of yourself, sharing where you live or go to school, or keeping your relationship secret.

• If someone lies about their age or background, or tries to manipulate you by saying things like "If you really liked me, you would ... " or "No one understands you like I do."

Read about Feelings & Options:

When you have a red flag feeling, it's important to slow down, pause, and think about how you are feeling using the Feelings & Options steps.

• Identify. Who are the different people involved in the scenario? What dilemma or challenge are they facing?

• Feel. What do you think each person in the dilemma is feeling? Why might the situation be hard or challenging for each of them?

• Imagine. Imagine options for how the situation could be handled. Come up with as many ideas as possible. Then, choose which option might lead to the most positive outcome, where most people feel good or taken care of.

• Say. Thinking more about the idea you chose for handling the situation, what could the people involved say? Be as specific as possible.

Lesson 4