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101 Christmas Jokes
Christmas time is near! To celebrate, let’s take a look at 101 Christmas jokes! (most, if not all, are very corny) so here's a collection for you to enjoy!
Punchline Jokes:
1. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
2. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
3. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
4. What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas song? Soy to the World!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
6. Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs!
7. What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
8. What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes!
9. How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
10. What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing– It was on the house!
12. What do elves do after school? Gnome-work!
13. Why is Santa such a good shopper? Because he makes a list and checks it twice!
14. How much does Santa pay his reindeer? Eight bucks!
15. What do you call a reindeer with three eyes? Reindeer!
16. Why can’t Santa spell “elf”? Because he has noel!
17. How do Santa’s elves get around the North Pole? They ride Ice-cycles!
18. Why is it so cold on Christmas? Because it’s in Decem-brrrrrr!
19. Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank!
20. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He looks at his calen-deer!
21. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles!
22. What do snowmen call their sons and daughters? Chill-dren!
23. How does Santa avoid getting sick before Christmas? He uses hand Santa-tizer!
24. Why did the pony miss singing at the Christmas Concert? It was a little horse!
25. What kind of bagel travels on Christmas? A plane bagel!
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Knock-Knock Jokes:
26. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna Partridge in a pear tree!
27. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good Christmas joke?
28. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
29. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love gave to me..
30. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies!
31. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
32. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to know what I got you for Christmas!
33. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avery.
Avery who?
Avery Merry Christmas to you!
34. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Oh, Chris
Oh, Chris who?
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree..
35. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke at all these presents!
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36. How did Scrooge win the soccer game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
37. What green, covered in tinsel, and goes ribbit, ribbit? A mistle-toad!
38. Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? Because he’s so cool!
39. What falls and never gets hurt? Snow!
40. What always comes at the end of Christmas? The letter “S!”
41. What do you get when you cross a Christmas Tree and a phone? A pineapple!
42. What goes, “oh, oh, oh?” Santa walking backwards!
43. What do you call people that are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!
44. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? They like to chill out!
45. Which of Santa’s reindeer have bad manners? Rude-olph!
46. What nationality is Santa? North Polish!
47. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes!
48. Which elf was the best singer? Elf-is Presley!
49. Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drumsticks!
50. Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt!
51. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy!
52. What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet!
53. What did the reindeer say when he saw the elf? Nothing, reindeer can’t talk!
54. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary!
55. Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws!
56. What do you get when Santa goes down a lit chimney? Crisp Kringle!
57. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itus!
58. What is Santa’s favorite chip? Crisp Pringles!
59. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
60. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can feel his presents!
61. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? Quit hanging around!
62. How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
63. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you!
64. What do you give a snowman with a fever? A chill pill!
65. What do you call Santa on a break? Santa Pause!
66. Why is everyone thirsty at the North Pole? No well!
67. Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field!
68. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Krispies!
69. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
70. What’s a wolf’s favorite time of year? The Howl-idays!
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Knock Knock Jokes:
71. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal me when Santa arrives!
72. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa Christmas card. Did you get it?
73. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Interrupting Santa.
Inter–
Ho ho ho!
74. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly..
75. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the reindeer used to laugh and call him names..
76. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and open your presents!
77. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Norway.
Norway who?
Norway am I kissing anyone under the mistletoe!
78. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita ride, Rudolph!
79. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda know what I got you for Christmas?
80. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, the gift is fragile!
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81. Why did Santa go to the podiatrist? He had mistle-toes!
82. What do snowmen wear to work? Snowsuits!
83. Did you hear that Santa lost his wallet? Now he’s St. Nickel-Less!
84. Why does the Grinch enjoy gardening? He has a green thumb!
85. What did one Christmas tree say to the other? Lighten up!
86. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
87. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them!
88. What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings!
89. Why should you never lend money to an elf? They’re always short!
90. What is it called when snowmen have a temper tantrum? A meltdown!
91. Who is never hungry during Christmas? The turkey– he’s always stuffed!
92. Why did Santa win an award? He’s very present-able!
93. Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down? The abominable towman!
94. Where does Santa keep his suit? In his Claus-et!
95. What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in school? Tree-gonometry!
96. Where do trees go to learn to become a Christmas tree? Element-tree school!
97. Which of Santa’s reindeer have the best moves? Dancer!
98. What did the ocean say when Santa flew over? Nothing– it just waved!
99. What do you get when you cross Santa and a duck? A Christmas quacker!
100. How did the Christmas tree do in the talent show? It sleighed the audience!
101. What’s as big as a Christmas tree and as light as a feather? Its shadow!
Sources:
130 Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids and Parents 2024
50 Best Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes
155 Funny Christmas Jokes for a Holly Jolly Holiday
31 Cozy Christmas Jokes For Kids
Christmas Jokes | Sandy Allnock
National Geographic | 25 Christmas Jokes For Kids
Written By Emilio Gomez
Edited By Rohini Velar
Page updated
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