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Didi Zhuang (G8)
Published Issue 1 2021-2022
Comedy
In recent years, line cutting has become an alarmingly large issue here at Mulgrave. With the introduction of new irresistible and exquisite dishes, the problem has only grown to new extremes. The public has rallied for harsh punishment for those who cut lines. The masses have advocated for life sentences to line cutters. The argument is ongoing with the line cutters and the line cuttees fighting for their opinions to be heard.
Field reporters have interviewed students and teachers to gather testimonials from multiple perspectives on the matter. A student against the movement to persecute line cutters said, “If you have friends just cut lines, if you don’t then that’s too bad for you. If you don’t skip lines it’s not because you’re respectful, kind, or considerate.” On the contrary, another student said, “I think [life sentences are] absolutely good. It’s great, you should make that happen.” Another reporter went to a teacher to gain their opinion on the matter. “I think that’s pretty harsh for a first offence, however, a lesser sentence may be appropriate, an administered sweeping and scrubbing of the cafeteria seems reasonable for the first offence, but I think harsher measurements should be taken for the repeated offence,” said an anonymous teacher.
Line cutting has developed into a problematic issue and a solution is needed as soon as possible to end this mayhem. With the public conflicted on whether or not a bill should be implemented to give cafeteria line cutters life sentences; cutters are able to continue to commit their horrendous crimes unchecked. Each day, as the cafeteria makes more and more delicious treats, the temptation to cheat your way out of waiting in line grows larger and larger. The middle school needs an answer and it needs an answer now.
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