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Amy Ren (G7)
Amy Ren (G7)
Published Issue 1 2020-2021
Comedy
AntonioGuillem. “Attractive Man Breathing Outdoor with the Sky in the Background.” IStock, www.istockphoto.com/photo/attractive-man-breathing-outdoor-gm459961625-31433210?irgwc=1&esource=AFF_IS_IR_TinEye_77643_&asid=TinEye&cid=IS&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=TinEye&clickid=xRxQ-nzoMxyLRs70EkzjZTwgUkE1g5SAewh-zI0&utm_term=&utm_campaign=&utm_content=435504&asset_type_keyword=_.
A person breathing.
An expert biologist in Vancouver has made a huge medical breakthrough this week by proving that there is a strong correlation between breathing air and staying alive.
“Many people just assume that breathing air is just this thing people do, like for example, like blinking. We just breathe on reflex.
But when performing a super extremely complex experiment that only smart people can understand, I was able to 100% confirm that air is definitely required to stay alive. This is truly the most important discovery I’ve ever made regarding the human body.” – Biologist Tota Lee Reelsien- Tist on her huge breakthrough in modern science
Ms. Reelsien-Tist reiterated that only a really, really super smart person like herself could make such a big discovery. And we can see that she obviously is an incredibly busy woman, but we managed to squeeze in a quick interview before she returned to her lab.
An Interview with Ms. Reelsien-Tist
An Interview with Ms. Reelsien-Tist
Interviewer: I’m here with Dr. Tota Lee Reelsien- Tist today to talk about her new groundbreaking discovery: air is correlated with staying alive! Ms. Reelsien- Tist, for the readers at home, can you explain (in simpler terms, of course, since none of us are as smart as you are) how exactly air is related to staying alive?
Tota Lee Reelsien-Tist: Of course. Now, just a disclaimer, this is just extremely complex and it’s totally fine to not understand any of it, I am extremely smart.
Interviewer: Yes, thank you for taking the time to address that situation, otherwise the dear readers at home might be disappointed or even angry they can’t understand this exceedingly difficult explanation.
Tota Lee Reelsien- Tist: Basically, what happens is mainly uhh... Okay, may I please have one second, It's because I`m trying to make this explanation as simple as can honestly be, even though it`s impeccably difficult to comprehend. So what happens... is you breathe. And while you breathe, you stay alive. And when you stay alive, you breathe. So they’re connected.
Interviewer: Wow! I don’t think I even understood the complicated reasoning you provided just now, but i can tell it’s extremely important!!! Thank you so much for your hard work and dedication to unearthing more scientific discoveries! You truly are such an inspiring woman.
Tota Lee Reelsien- Tist: Thank you! Now I’m afraid I really have to leave now. I am conducting another very complicated experiment, about whether fire is hot.
Interviewer: So there you have it. Dr. Tota Lee Reelsien- Tist is certainly an inspiring figure and is very renowned in her field. She has unearthed other groundbreaking scientific discoveries in the last few years. Among those discoveries were the fact that water is wet and snow is definitely cold, things that other scientists never even considered before. We truly need more inspiring, dedicated people like Dr. Reelsien- Tist to explain the intricacies of modern science to us.
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