Grief Support
The Grieving Child
Many of life's events can result in a feeling of loss. Adults and students often find themselves grieving the loss of a pet, home, family lifestyle due to divorce, and the death of a loved one. The information below is provided to help you and your family recognize the signs of grief and how to access support.
If your child has experienced a recent loss, please contact their guidance counselor so we can support them at school.
Grief is an ongoing process, and a grieving person may experience some of the following:
Tearfulness
Dreams – some of them scary
Irritability
Clinging to you
Whiny moods
Physical complaints – stomachaches, headaches, etc.
Inability to concentrate
Change in appetite
Temporary dip in grades (once school is back in session)
More pronounced fears of dying, of the dark, of you dying, of walking home alone, etc.
Listed below are some ideas that can help your child with grieving:
Let your child talk about the death or draw pictures of what he or she felt happened.
Acquaint yourself with the grief process by reading a book about it. Among many fine books on the subject are The Grieving Child by Helen Fitzgerald, Talking about Death to Children by Earl Grollman, or The Grieving Teen by Helen Fitzgerald.
Visit the articles section of the Center for Grieving Children’s website at www.cgcmaine.org.
Use the person's proper name.
Use the correct language when talking about death – say “dead” instead of he’s “passed on” or “We’ve lost him” or “He’s gone to a better place.”
Let them express their feelings.
Offer them loving, touching support.
Allow them to be sad and cry and it's okay to let them see you be sad and cry as well.
Let your child ask questions and answer them as simply as you can. If you need to, it's okay to say, “I don’t know how to answer that. Perhaps we can find someone who can help us.”
Talk about dreams as they happen. If you wait until morning they may be forgotten.
Reassure your child you are healthy, you are careful when you drive, and you will be around for a long time.
Offer support and structure in completing homework once school starts.
If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s behavior, please call one of the following:
The Center for Grieving Children at 775-5216 to discuss concerns, receive written information or enroll your child in a grief support group.
777-HELP, a 24 hour hotline, if you feel your child needs immediate assistance.
Other Online Grief Resources: