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Plan for adults to help students who are upset
Tips for adults when de-escalating children:
Tips for adults when de-escalating children:
- First find your own way to calm your feelings. Children look towards adults for calm and if the adult is overwhelmed or frustrated it becomes more difficult for the student to become calm. If you need to, give yourself time and space to use your own calming strategies first before intervening.
- Acknowledge your child's feelings and if appropriate, offer an alternative response. For example, "I understand you are frustrated, but it's not ok to yell at me. Next time you are upset, you can ask me for help."
- When offering to talk be sure to listen first.
- Ask how you can help.
- Offer to try a calming strategy together- Let's take 3 deep breaths together. Let's take a walk together.
Keep in mind when your child is upset:
Keep in mind when your child is upset:
- When your child is fully escalated, their cognition drops. Their ability to understand what you are saying and/or control their actions is limited.
- It can be helpful to limit your language and state expectations, rather than what not to do. Such as, "I need you to lower your voice" rather than "Stop yelling."
- Give space. Sometimes when we are upset, we need a minute to cool off on our own. It can be difficult to do so when someone is standing in front of you.
- Try to refrain from talking about consequences at this time. It may further escalate the situation. Instead, wait until both you and your child are calm to talk about what happen, what an alternative response could have been, and what the consequences are, if appropriate.
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