Memoir

The right to be a mother

By Ochienga

My mother came to Lebanon under the Kafala system. It is a broken immigrant labor system. The system was structured in a way that the laws being placed didn’t ensure workers’ security, but gave a margin for a lot of exploitation to happen. My mother lived at her boss’s home and had a “room” in the kitchen (which is a small attic with a bathroom). She worked from Monday to Saturday afternoon and was paid a mediocre salary.

My mother had a desire to leave a legacy and have her own family, and she had me a few years later. At the time of my birth, it was uncommon for domestic workers to have a family. The work conditions forced the mothers to go home, give birth and let their child be raised by a family while they provided. My mother hid her pregnancy in fear of losing her job and did a lot of hard labor. Even though she temporarily lost her job, her boss’s daughter cried and pleaded for my mother to come back. As a premature baby, I had to stay in the hospital for several days after my birth, and my mother’s boss decided to cover the fees. However, she refused to let me be raised by my mother because she thought I was a hindrance to my mother's job. I only stayed with her for two months, then started sleeping at her friends’ homes. I saw her on the “weekends” and continued this routine until I was sent to my residential boy's home, where I saw her once a month. She challenged the system because she believed in her motherhood. 

A few years later, my mother had my little sister, and multiple people were outraged by the fact she was having another child in the same work conditions. Once, a fellow domestic worker asked her why she decided to have another child, my mother responded, “ As domestic workers, we get a wonderful opportunity to raise our bosses’ children like our own.We can love and cherish them, but at the end of the day, they are not our own. They have a family, and they will soon grow and not see us as such. Why would I deny myself the gift of motherhood and live my life in regret?”

In my mother’s 30 years of employment in Lebanon, she gained a lot of wisdom.  She believes that domestic workers are workers with dignity and should be treated with respect and not as an object. She said that women are seen in multiple careers, from business owners to merchants, and they all get the opportunity to be a mother. Their children should have the opportunity to live with their families and be given rights and the Lebanese nationality. While many Lebanese people enjoy that luxury in the Ivory Coast, many domestic workers’ children will never have this opportunity.  My mother is an active member of multiple nonprofit organizations in hopes of a better future for domestic workers and their families. She concluded the interview: “No one can take away my motherhood because I have the right to be a mother.”