I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Book:  I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sanchez

December 19, 2023

Perfect Mexican daughters do not go away to college. And they do not move out of their parents' house after high school graduation. Perfect Mexican daughters never abandon their family.

But Julia is not your perfect Mexican daughter. That was Olga's role.

Then a tragic accident on the busiest street in Chicago leaves Olga dead and Julia left behind to reassemble the shattered pieces of her family. And no one seems to acknowledge that Julia is broken, too. Instead, her mother seems to channel her grief into pointing out every possible way Julia has failed.

But it's not long before Julia discovers that Olga might not have been as perfect as everyone thought. With the help of her best friend, Lorena, and her first love (first everything), Connor, Julia is determined to find out. Was Olga really what she seemed? Or was there more to her sister's story? And either way, how can Julia even attempt to live up to a seemingly impossible ideal?

Well, I'm not going to lie, this was a hard one for me to read.  It might be because I am reading this story as an adult.  As a mother.  As a teacher.   You may feel completely differently about this - which is the magical thing about reading:  It speaks to everyone differently.  There are plenty of wonderful and popular novels written with an "unlikeable protagonists", like Heathcliff and Cathy in Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.  

Sometimes we love these flawed people portrayed in literature because we are seeing them through a difficult journey, which they make even more difficult by their flaws.  We can relate to these flaws and empathize with them.  We can enjoy rooting for them to succeed despite being difficult people.

So…I found the protagonist of this story, 15 year old Julia Reyes, unlikeable.  The narrator of this book is Julia herself.  When I started reading this book, my heart went out to Julia at her older sister’s funeral.  The author depicts this whole story in wonderful language that brings the words to life.  

Julia’s character leapt off the page in real, gut-wrenching emotions.  Her grief and her anger are so tangible that I could reach out and touch her as I read.  I felt her frustration with her stern and demanding mother and her distant and unreachable father.  Raised in Mexico and now here in Chicago illegally, her parents could not connect to their American daughter.  

Poor kid, right?  So why did I have difficulty liking Julia?  To put it bluntly, Julia is unpleasant.  She is contemptuous of her family members and judgmental in her comments.  She comes across as self-centered and immature.  (But who isn't at 15?  Maybe it isn't Julia specifically that I find unlikable, maybe it is the state of teenage angst in being 15?)

“I do dislike most people and most things” says Julia, and she means it.  There is hardly anything that she judges favorably, except writing and her English teacher.  She criticizes her “nosy” aunts, “idiot” cousins, her “wild and slutty” friend Lorena.  

When I pull myself away from the first person narrative and look at it as an objective viewer, an observer, I absolutely understand that this child is so hurt and so lonely and feels so misunderstood that she lashes out at those around her.  

She is caught between worlds – the traditional Mexican world of her family, the permissive American society she is growing up in – the poor Latinx neighborhood she lives in and the privileged, rich family of her boyfriend, Conner.   Julia is just a kid, trying to grow up, which actually is a very selfish process when you think about it.

Julia also says, "Do you ever hate your life?  Because I do.  Like, all the time.  I know it's messed up, but sometimes I wish I were dead, too.  Why does everything have to be so hard?  Why does everything have to hurt so much?"   I wonder who of us hasn't felt that way at some point.  I have.  Have you?

MOST IMPORTANTLY, this novel kept me engaged, despite finding Julia unlikable.  There is an ongoing theme of secrets and lies in this family that is almost like a mystery to solve.  

As she discovers some very dark truths about her family, Julia learns the important lesson that there is mercy in keeping some facts to yourself and that keeping a secret can actually be the greatest gift you can give. And I kept rooting for Julia to succeed, for her family to get through this crisis, and they do.

How about you?  Will you connect with Julia and this beautifully written coming-of-age story?  Either way, likeable or not, I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter is worth the reading journey!