By: Makayla Dilliner
“I walked the graduation line with a full-term pregnancy.” These are the words of Mrs. Carlene Atwater, class of 1987 alumna, the first face you usually see in the office at Kalāheo High School. It was an experience she not only endured but one that gave her strength. Where many would find themselves in turmoil at just the thought of having to raise a child, Atwater found determination and gratitude.
Now the School Administrative Service Assistant at Kalāheo High, Atwater shared how she started working for the school in 2003, then was able to work up the ladder from being a health aide to head of the school office management. From struggling to make ends meet as a pregnant teenager to owning a house in Kailua with seven vehicles, Atwater continues to be in a 38-year relationship with her husband from high school.
“I was supposed to go to Oregon State University for nursing, but I got pregnant," Atwater recalled.
Atwater recalled what her home life was like growing up and how it impacted the decisions she made later on. “I never had a mom. Growing up, my mother was a drug addict and alcoholic. So she never raised us. My grandmother on my dad's side took us in and raised us. Later when I was 10, my mom passed away in a car accident.”
While Atwater is grateful to have been raised by her grandparents, she acknowledged that not everyone may view her experience from that perspective. “Not everyone looks at it this way but I was very fortunate and blessed to be raised by them because my mother asked my grandma to take the three of us. She couldn't do it. Had my grandma said no, we would have been in foster homes. My life would have been a lot different, right?”
Atwater explained that it was the lack of maternal presence later filled by the love of her grandparents that made her want to be the mother she never had. “When I became pregnant and was going to be a mom, I didn't look at it as a sacrifice. That's what I wanted. I wanted to be a mom. And my husband allowed me to do that by providing. But I looked at it as being very fortunate and blessed, so I'm lucky that I could do that for my kids because they are everything.”
Later seeking to go on with a career path in nursing at Windward Community College, Atwaterʻs eldest daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called neuroblastoma at the age of two. “After she was re-missioned, then fell back, I continued to stay home and raise my children.”
Despite much trial and tribulation, Atwater later decided to be employed as a health room aide, right as a spot opened at Kalāheo. “The first year I was here, there was a student that was mobbed. And this poor kid ended up with a broken eye socket, collapsed lung, just horribly beaten up. And that affected me because I couldn't see how students so young could do this to another student. I just felt for this poor child.”
“So I felt more so this is where I belong. Unlike younger students, it was the teenagers, I felt like I could reach,” she said. “So I stayed here, but that case always comes to mind, that child. And then as a health aide, you nurture certain bonds. Some kids have medical conditions, there was one that I grew very attached to. He ended up in a hospital, medically induced coma. And I would go visit him at Kapiolani Hospital. I see him now on the streets, and it bothers me. I don't know if he knows who I am.”
After wanting more challenges in her job, Atwater wanted to take on the SASA title. While still a health aid nurse, she often stayed hours past her shift to learn the office job. She shed light on the responsibilities that a School Administrative Service Assistant must take on to keep a functional school.
“The SASA is the secretary to your principal but the job ranges from doing payroll to handling the human resource side. My duties include accounting, taking care of substitutes on a daily basis, managing the principals’ calendar, budget planning, training the office personnel and providing customer service to our community members. On top of that, I do the paperwork for all new employees, and all retiring employees. I keep track of their sick leave, vacation pay, and personal leave. We have about 130 employees on campus that we oversee,” she explained.
Atwater acknowledged that despite the setbacks of teen pregnancy and how it can impact the course of the rest of your life, she was very lucky to succeed the way she and her family did. “In my case, I'm very fortunate and blessed. Not a lot of teenage girls who were in my position feel that. It's very difficult to go through because you have worries. How are you going to make it? You have dreams. So you put your dreams aside. I put my college dreams aside. But you have dreams and this is not how you wanted your life to be. You worry about where you're going to live, right? I went through all that. How are you going to provide? Who's going to watch the baby? It's very difficult to go through.”
Despite both Atwater and her husband balancing a stable family dynamic for their children, she recounted times when it wasnʻt easy to keep food on the table. “I remember, I was pregnant with my last child. And I remember times being hungry. But I never let him [her husband] know. I never let him know because, as a man, he was trying to do whatever he could to provide for me. So I never told him the struggles because I did what I needed to make him feel good, right? Because he already felt he couldn't provide.”
She went on to explain that it was their hardships that created the drive for her and her family to become not only financially stable but well taken care of. “Look at us now, we have been together for 38 years. We own our home here in Kailua. I own seven vehicles as he's a hot rod enthusiast. We have two classic cars. I have a beautiful home. I have three beautiful daughters. I have six grandkids,” she stated.
Atwater reflected on the different paths in life she may have taken. But despite it all, she holds no regrets because she loves the life she leads. “It could have gone so many different ways. Had we chosen this path? Had we chosen that path? And had we not fought to get to where we are? It could have been so different. But I am very blessed, very lucky to have the life I have now and be well taken care of by my husband. And I'm very fortunate to have such a good team that I adore at Kalāheo. I'm very passionate about this school, and I care about the school, about the students, and the front office team.”