“Socio-emotional Education, a fashion?

Socio-emotional education, emotional intelligence, personal intelligences, or more terms that refer to the management of emotions in humans. It will actually be a concept that, although it is mentioned a lot, will it be temporary? a fashion? Or is it really an aspect of the human being that every day is proven to be of paramount importance for learning of any kind? And I do not mean "romantic and poetic" checks, which, incidentally, also contribute much. But the study of the socio-emotional aspect in the human being is currently fully supported. But more than talking exhaustively about the approaches, (which are few) that have been devoted to studying this aspect, such as: the biological one with Darwin himself, who affirms that emotions are the product of evolution, the neurological one, which is clear in explaining how an emotion sets in motion a whole neuroanatomic and functional system, which goes from the thalamus, cerebral cortex, to the viscera and muscles; psychoanalysis, which, although it is more about exploring how childhood impacts the emotional life of an adult, their interest contributes to the emotional life of the human being from its first significant figures (the parental ones), to the behavioral paradigm it pays us to the learning of emotions as stimuli and answers, then the questions arise: Why continue relegating this learning to chance luck, chance, fortune, destiny, etc.? How can we exalt and teach it? The answer can possibly be found in two main sources:

The families, on the one hand. Who, as guides and main models of children's behavior, must enter a moment of self-reflection on the subject and therefore begin a step of learning, relearning or even unlearning (of bad information) of the subject, to give input to the experience of emotional intelligence in our day to day, turning it is a philosophy of life and an assertive tool to face the conflicts of daily life and that this at the same time, our little ones perceive it, accommodate it and assimilate in their own learning for children and adolescents.

We are in a moment of historical transition, because still a few years ago, thinking about the concept of "socio-emotional education" was for many at least idle, but even absurd. Today our children are having this wonderful opportunity that many of us would have liked to have as students, when in schools, academic knowledge, more strictly speaking, Spanish and mathematics, was privileged above all. Many of us who lacked this opportunity to learn about emotion management, we have had to do it sometimes not in the best ways, that, we do think of an optimistic scenario, because if we investigate further, we find adults addressing their conflicts without any emotional intelligence, even in hostile and aggressive ways, which, in short, does not resolve them and, moreover, the world does not need more violence.

Secondly and not least, in the 21st century schools, those truly committed to assume the changes and the need to contribute in forming people with a solid emotional intelligence, rather than continuing to generate waves of children, adolescents and young people only instructed in the traditional linguistic and mathematical knowledge, which also, in the so-called "knowledge society", it is clear that they will acquire by many other digital means at the time they want.

The education of emotions is something that can certainly be learned and that the smaller you start with this, it will be something lived more naturally and harmoniously, but as adults, a father, mother, aunt, uncle, grandmother, teacher, etc. There must be a conviction of it, so that we can transmit it to our children from the role and position we have, which is our roll, from that place we occupy, we are all co-responsible for the teaching of socio-emotional education and from this derives the hope that these new generations will be beings that will have a much better emotional intelligence than that of current generations.

So, no, it will not be just a “passing fad”, because the result is that those who have access to education in this regard will be people with healthy self-esteem, capable of responding to the needs of the world where borders are falling, to give way first, to a supportive community, to a more just Mexico and a less individualistic, more social planet, where all beliefs, postures, ideologies, orientations, differences fit, where we are all human beings first, the true citizens of the world.

Here are some basic suggestions, but essential, so that at home they start or reinforce in family socio-emotional education:

1. Emotional awareness: Teach (not only with words but with the example) to name your different moods, this is the first step to proper emotion management. This emotional awareness includes knowing how to differentiate and identify the physiological changes that are activated with each emotion, for example: in the face of anger, our body enters a state of "emergency" that activates the nervous system and prepares our body for a confrontation, These body changes include an acceleration of our breathing, which in turn activates a faster heart rate, this increases blood pressure, we begin to sweat to get red and there are also changes in facial expression, such as frowning, showing teeth , Etc. Finally there is more energy and strength in our body, which if not assertively channeled, triggers physical violence.

All this physiological response to the emotion of anger, it is very important to know it in order to identify it, name it and manage to channel it properly, this is emotional awareness and this applies to each basic emotion.

2. Emotional regulation: once we know how to identify each emotion, we have the possibility of controlling it before it controls us. This emotional management requires learning and shaping, which we obtain from our main reference figures: parents. That is to say that if our son sees that when we get angry, we throw an insult or blow, they will do exactly the same in their school, just as if they observe that when we are upset, we move away, we take time alone to calm down and We will talk about it later, because they are learning what is the way to “take out” the anger. So at this point what most impacts is the example that children and adolescents are experiencing. So emotions should be repressed? In no way, this would be harmful to our body, but if we must express them in a socially accepted way, that is, they do not harm or harm third parties.

There are 3 possibilities to channel an emotion:

● Suppressing it: “explode inwardly,” which would impact physical health.

● Express it explosively and without control: which, in addition to being associated with physical health problems, translates into social difficulties in relating to others.

● Express it assertively: through dialogue, set limits on others and oneself, generating learning, a way in which the quality of social ties is improved and the impact on physical health is diminished.

So the following suggestion is:

3. Empathy and social skills: "If I identify when I am angry, I can understand when someone else is." It is essential that our children and adolescents understand that just as they have emotions, others also and that in this sense they know how to listen, put themselves in the place of the other to know how to act assertively. Example: when they see that their friend begins to get angry in an exchange of jokes, "I must stop", it would not be empathetic to make fun, point out, keep telling him things, on the contrary, he should understand that it is a time to keep silent and even walk away if It is necessary to allow time for your friend to control himself and after that when it is prudent, talk, listen.

Let's start with these three tasks of socio-emotional education and we will see how the environment, school climate and coexistence are changing positively.

Stay tuned for all informative articles, conferences, workshops and other activities that we have scheduled for ISQ families.

If you have more questions or suggestions write to me at isq.seguro@isq.edu.mx

Psic. Alejandra Morales Arroyo