Written by Susan Haake, Curator, Lincoln Home National Historic Site

Mary Ann Todd was born on December 13, 1818, in Lexington, Kentucky, the fourth of six children born to Eliza and Robert Todd.  Her mother died when she was six years old.  Her father remarried and had another eight children with his second wife.  Mary did not get along well with her stepmother and lived at a boarding school about a mile away. 

As a result of a bright mind and spending so much time at school, she was highly educated. At the time, most girls were not sent to school or were taught just enough math, writing, and reading to know how to run a household and teach their children to read.  Mary was known for her good memory and earned the highest marks in her classes. She was fluent in French and became the star actress in the school’s theatrical productions.  She was considered a lively conversationalist and enjoyed spirited conversations with men in her social circle. Fellow Lexington native Henry Clay once said, “If I am ever President, I shall expect Mary Todd to be one of my first guests.” 

In 1839, Mary moved to Springfield, Illinois to live with her oldest sister Elizabeth’s family. At a party thrown by her sister, Mary met Abraham Lincoln, the junior partner at her cousin John Todd Stuart’s law office. They married on November 4, 1842.  Their family grew to include four sons: Robert, Eddie, Willie, and Tad. Sadly, Eddie died shortly before his fourth birthday. 

Mary became known as a gracious and active hostess. She frequently invited close friends and neighbors to drop by, but also held large parties, including one where 500 were invited!  Mary enjoyed the festivities but also used the parties to make sure Mr. Lincoln met people that would help him in his political and legal activities. She was sure Mr. Lincoln was destined for great things and wanted to help him achieve his goals.  In November 1860, Lincolns’ political goal was reached and he was elected President of the United States. Mr. Lincoln declared “We’re elected!” The Lincolns very much considered this a team effort.

In Washington, Mary had hoped to remain her husband’s closest confidante, but Lincoln relied more on his Cabinet and generals to run the country. Needing something to focus on after Willie died in 1862, Mary started visiting the soldiers’ hospitals and providing much appreciated “kindness and womanly sympathy,” according to the newspapers. During her visits, she’d bring fresh flowers, treats, and fruits from the White House, write letters home for the soldiers, and perform other motherly but often mundane tasks.  She also raised money for the hospitals, once succeeding in getting $1000 from a single donor.  

After Mr. Lincoln’s assassination, Mary moved to Europe. In a risky and unpopular action, advocated for herself. She requested a war widow’s pension as the widow of the Commander-in-Chief. It took many years, but eventually, Mary received funding from Congress. She set a precedent still in place today: the spouse of the President receives a pension.

After an interesting and unusual life, Mary died in Springfield on July 16, 1882.