BELONGING
Reflecting on Belonging.pdfI want to feel connected to and valued by those around me.
Belonging is our psychological need to love and care for others and to believe that we are loved and cared for in family relationships, friendships, and working relationships. To belong, we must connect with people by cooperating, caring, sharing, and being involved.
This Hooray for Monday blog post by Aleta Margolis explores the importance of belonging and includes a reflection exercise that can help you identify the communities that provide belonging in your life.
You can fill out the reflection sheet below and be emailed a copy of your responses, or you can download this printable version to write on by hand.
If you're feeling like your need for belonging is a long way from being met, it's useful to remember the helpful little word, "yet." This Instigator of Thought Challenge encourages you to see what happens when you put "yet" at the end of your struggles.
Small Steps to Greater Belonging - A Reflection
There are lots of ways our sense of belonging can be bolstered - even with small steps.
Give yourself 3 minutes to list communities you are part of - listing as many as you can. Consider:
Communities you’ve deliberately chosen to join (a book group or improv class);
Communities that have selected you (your place of employment or your college alumni association);
Communities you are a part of by default (the street on which you live or your family or the parents of your child’s friends); and,
Any other community that’s a part of your identity.
Include online communities too (like, for example, the Schitt’s Creek Fans Group on Facebook or a particular list you follow on Twitter).
Pause for a moment. It’s worth simply noting how many communities you belong to. Even communities we may take for granted (the street I live on comes to mind) count.
Next, choose one of the communities to which you belong. Ask yourself:
What do I contribute to this community that is of value? Or… What could I contribute that is of value?
Then consider the other side of the question: What does this community offer me that is of value? Or… What could this community offer me that is of value?
The simple act of considering these questions - for one community or for all of them - can build connection, and help meet the need for belonging. And it may turn out that some communities truly bring value, and merit more of our time and energy, while some may not serve our needs as much as they once did. That learning is useful too.
