TRANSCRIPT: The Revision Process: How To Proofread & Edit Your Writing

Speaker: Stewart Erlich.

The Revision Process: How To Proofread & Edit Your Writing

My name is Stewart Erlich, and I’ve been a writing teacher for about ten years. Today we’re going to talk a little bit about the revision process. And when people this about revision, it’s important to think about it as part of a fluid process of writing that really can happen at any point in the writing process, you know, so you’re sort of revising when you’re drafting your paper, you’re sort of revising when you’re pre-writing.

Revising is something that happens all the way through, you know, and sometimes it happens sort of subconsciously. Today we’re going to be talking about a conscious part of the process when we decide we’re going to look at what we’ve written and really make sure it’s doing what we want it to do.

When we think about revising, we can sort of separate it into two categories. One category is about revising for content, you know, does my content say what I want it to say. The other part has to do with revising for mechanics. Do my sentences all work? Do I have any errors? Do I have typos? Things like that. Typically speaking, when people revise, they’re almost always – when we talk about revision – we’re almost always talking about that second part of the process, which is revising for mechanics, you know, so most of my students in the past, for instance, have considered revision to be double checking and making sure I don’t have any mistakes, or I’m editing, or I’m proofreading.

What I’d like for you to consider is that revision is much bigger and much richer than just looking for mistakes. It’s really about re-looking, revising, looking again at what we’ve written and seeing if there are things we can really mess with and things we can really improve, just on the level of content, before we even consider the level of mechanics and sentence structure.

So today what we’re going to do is spend a lot of time just thinking about the whole picture of your content and whether or not you’re saying what you want to say in the best way that you can. And we’ll talk about how to address mechanics a little bit later.

Steps To The Revision Process

There are some really easy ways to consider the revision process to make it a little bit methodical. The first, and probably, in my mind, the most important, thing to consider is what the assignment was, and then part of the revision process can be looking back at the assignment and seeing if I’ve met the objectives. How well have I done what has been asked of me? So one of the first things I suggest to my students when they start the revision process is to take out that original assignment sheet and use it as a checklist. Did I do everything that was asked of me? And I go through that assignment piece by piece and make sure that everything that I am supposed to do is happening in my paper.

That’s one way. Another important piece of revision can look like reading out loud. And you can read with a partner. You can also read just by yourself. There’s something about articulating, saying out loud, what I’ve written that really works for me as a writer in order to understand where I’m making sense and where I’m not, or what feels fluffy, or what feels underdeveloped. When I hear it from my own voice, there is something that happens to me that makes it a little easier for me to know whether I’ve really hit the mark, more than if I just read it silently.

And then the last thing that I want you to consider is this idea of finding places that are magnifying moments, moments that I can make bigger. So sometimes with revision, we think about, oh, my god, I have to revise the whole thing, where do I start. Maybe if we look at particular paragraphs and think about where can I make this bigger, how can I magnify this moment, how can I make it come alive more for my reader, it makes the revision process a little bit less overwhelming because we can just look at specific moments that might deserve some attention and then we can maybe start with a sentence and end up with a paragraph, you know, and that’s another thing to consider is how can I do a little bit to a part of my paper that’s going to make a big difference.

Extreme Makeover

So when I think about revision, sometimes I think about the idea of Extreme Makeover. There used to be a show, I don’t know if it’s even on any more. There used to be a show called Extreme Makeover, and one of the iterations of that show was that people would be living in a house that was really run down, and then sometimes the house would be torn to the ground and then a new house would be constructed.

Other times there would just be particular rooms that were gutted, you know, and then those rooms were renovated.

So we can think about revision in a similar light, you know, where it’s not really just about fixing sentences. It’s really about looking at the structure and seeing if there are rooms within our paragraph, within our essay, that need to be gutted, you know, or if there are things we need to do to the whole thing. If I’m looking at the assignment, for instance, and I’m noticing that none of what the assignment is asking me to do is in my paper, maybe I need to raze the building and then start over, you know, and other times maybe it’s just that there are particular rooms that need addressing, you know, that need a renovation. So it’s the same kind of idea. We’re kind of looking at the structure and we’re deciding how well we are making the structure work for its function.

Extreme Makeover – Before

So I’d like you to take a look at a paragraph, and this is – you can consider this like if we were talking about Extreme Makeover, you consider this the before, right, so we’re going to do before and an after. And as you’re looking at this paragraph, think about the details. Think about how well you can visualize what this author is writing.

My dog is a nice dog that I couldn’t live without. He is kind of medium sized and a red color. He loves to play and keep my busy. Sometimes he barks, but mostly he has a beautiful spirit. He means so much to me, and I will always be there for him and I know he will be there for me. Owning him tells a lot about my personality and where I am in life right now.

As you think about that paragraph, consider how well do you see the dog being described. And where are the details? And how could they be, perhaps, magnified? How well do you see this dog?

Analyzing The Before

Let’s look at the first line. My dog is a nice dog that I couldn’t live without. How well do you see that dog, or how well do you know that dog from that first sentence? My dog is a nice dog. Maybe there’s an issue with the word nice. Maybe there’s a better descriptor. What about this next part? He is kind of medium sized and a red color. What’s medium sized? And what is a red color?

You know, there’s lot of reds. So as you look at these, you can kind of see, all right, I can sort of see the general picture of a dog here, but I don’t know very much about the dog’s personality or really the way the dog looks just from what’s being described, so there might be opportunities here to really have this come alive through some use of a little bit of magnifying detail.

He loves to play and keep me busy. Sometimes he barks, but mostly he has a beautiful spirit. You know there’s an opportunity here maybe with barking that we can think about. Is there a way that we can make barking come alive more, or what kind of a bark is it.

He means so much to me, and I will always be there for him and I know he will be there for me. Owning him tells a lot about my personality and where I am in life right now. Maybe the part where the author says owning him tells a lot about my personality might be an opportunity. Maybe there are places where we can say well what does it tell us about this person’s personality. Maybe there are places we can give more information or add more detail about what this dog really shows about this person.

Using The 5 Senses

One thing you might want to consider when you’re trying to build detail and sort of add dimension to your writing is to think about the five senses. How well can I describe this so that someone can really visualize, can get a full picture of what it is I’m describing? In some contexts, you know, using the five senses won’t work, like in an argument paper it might not be appropriate to use the five senses. But in a narrative when you’re telling a story, it might be.

So thinking about sight, sound, touch, taste and smell might really help a reader have a bigger picture of what it is you’re describing, you know, so when we were looking at that paragraph and it said a red color, maybe there are ways we can really have red come alive, you know, describe the detail of the red. Or maybe we can talk about the feel of the fur, you know, so we can take a look at some possibilities using the five senses to really help the reader come to an understanding, a bigger, global vision of what it is we’re saying.

Extreme Makeover – After

Let’s look at a way that this author has revised using – so let’s look at a revision of that same paragraph about the dog and see how this author has used some of the suggestions around the five senses and around magnifying details in order to make this come alive.

We brought Salem home from the Boulder Humane Society on a snowy Halloween evening three years ago. We were looking for a girl dog, preferably a black one, and one that didn’t bark. After 30 minutes we had looked at several dogs. Ripley, who peed on the floor, a Golden who seemed really skittish, and then the dog counselor suggested Howie. Not the barking-his-fool-head-off Lab we saw back there, we thought. She brought Howie in. walking excitedly, his tail wagging back and forth, he came and greeted each of us and then curled up at my feet.

We knew he would be our dog. Howie was renamed Salem, a name that means peace, and a name of the home we just left, Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Everything about him speaks of his goodness. His golden coat feels soft and silky. His eyes seem to really see me, not just the toy I have in my hand. And whether he lays his head in my lap as we watch Oprah or he swims besides me while I paddle my kayak, he emits an air of peace and happiness. In many ways, owning Salem speaks about who I am. That I need a dog who loves me, not a cat that could do without me, as much as I love him. I need to be reminded that play is fun, that I live in a place where others love their dogs, and that my life finally has settled to a point where I can own a dog and afford to pay for him. He speaks of my desire to be content.

Before Vs. After

So in the pre-revised version, in the first version of that paragraph, we had a sentence that said my dog is a nice dog that I couldn’t live without. In this new version, we have a little bit more information. We have a little bit more sight, and a little bit more sound, right? We have barking his fool head off, which is more than what we had before which was just sometimes he barks. We have walking excitedly, his tail wagging back and forth, he came and greeted each of us and then curled up at my feet. What a better visualization that is.

And then we have a little bit more than just medium sized and a red color. In the new version we have his golden coat feels soft and silky. His eyes seem to really see me. So those really help kind of give you a picture, not only of what he looks like, but what he feels like. So that is a really helpful detail. And so what this author was able to do with some of these details is move from a very generic paragraph to one that has a lot of specificity just by using some of these techniques using the five senses.

Showing Vs. Telling

So what we’re kind of talking about through all of these techniques is the idea of showing rather than telling. A good writer will always show the reader what they’re saying rather than just tell them. That’s probably best explained through example. If I wanted to tell you that I was a good singer, one thing I could do is just say I’m a good singer. Do you believe me? What evidence have I given you that that’s true? All I’ve done is told you. That’s telling. Oftentimes not-so-sophisticated writing will just tell, and what we want to be able to do in revision is look for the places where we just tell and figure out how we can show. Good writing shows rather than tells.

So let’s think about that example again of I am a good singer, and think about how we can show it.

Showing By Example

So thinking about that sentence, I am a good singer, if I saw that sentence in my essay, I might want to consider how I could show that rather than just tell it. Here is an example. Once I was singing the song It Had to be You in the shower. I had no idea anyone else was home. I started softly at first, but soon I got pretty into it, so I started to really belt it out.

When I finished my song and shut off the water, I heard thunderous applause outside of the bathroom. I got dressed and came out and apparently my entire family had gathered outside to listen. My mother was weeping, saying it was the most beautiful song she had ever heard. My father told me I had to try out for American Idol, and my brother asked me if I wanted to join his band.

Develop Your Idea

So that’s showing, because in that paragraph the author never actually said I am a good singer, instead the author showed you through example. So in an essay when we want to make revisions, we can look for all the places where we told, where we were just telling something, and we figure out how we can magnify those moments into showing the reader rather than just telling them. And that can work in any kind of paper when you’re asked to develop an idea. Developing an idea is so much more powerful when we can use example and we can illustrate to show rather than just tell.

Activity: Brainstorm

So now I want you to actually practice this a little bit. So take out a sheet of paper and brainstorm a list of general characteristics you have as a student. So this can just be single words, things that you think of yourself as a student. For instance, mine would say something like bad at math. So brainstorm a list of all the things you believe about yourself as a student and write down that list on your sheet of paper.

Activity: Telling

Now that you have your list, choose one characteristic from the list you’ve created and deliberately write a paragraph that does not have adequate detail. So have some fun with this. Write the dullest, most unspecific paragraph you can. In other words, tell rather than show. For example, my paragraph might be something like, I took math. I was a bad student. I didn’t care.

Activity: Revising

Now we’re going to practice revising. Think about the ideas about adding detail, about showing rather than telling, about using the five senses. Take a few minutes and revise the paragraph. Make it as specific and as clear an image as you can. So before you start, here’s my example of how I might expand and magnify that example of taking math and thinking I was a bad student so that I would show it rather than tell it.

When I was in the seventh grade, I had to take my first algebra class. I remember sweating each time I walked into the musty, fluorescent-lit classroom in the basement of my school. I would shuffle my feet to the back of the room and sink down at a desk making myself as small as I could. I remember listening to the ticking of the classroom clock and wringing my hands together just waiting for the class to end.

So in this example, I never say I’m bad at math, but I show you how uncomfortable it made me, and that’s what I want you to try to do as you work on revising your paragraph.

Revising For Content

So those are some tips for figuring out how to revise for content, how to magnify moments in your paper, how to add detail and description, how to show rather than to tell. And, again, you could look at your whole paper and see if there are things that have to be changed all the way across the board, or you could take it in digestible chunks and just look for sentences or ideas that could use some attention, that could use some detail in order to really come alive for your reader.

And once that’s all addressed, we can then look at some of the mechanical and some technical issues that might come up for you in your writing, some of the proofreading and editing, but before we touch that, we want to make sure that our work is really doing the best it can do in terms of fulfilling the assignment and showing the reader exactly what we mean rather than just telling.

Revising For Mechanics

So in terms of thinking about the mechanics of your writing, the sentence-level issues, the editing issues, I can tell you as a writing teacher that what I look for most from a student’s writing is whether they’re making complete sentences, and whether they’re addressing sort of the most important issues of writing. So things like avoiding run-on sentences, avoiding comma splice errors, avoiding fragments, those are things that I think if you can show good sentence control, make a big difference in terms of the presentation of your paper.

Other things that can be important in terms of just the mechanics of an essay is how well ideas flow from one to the next. So being able to use transitions from one idea to the next, from one paragraph to the next, become really important and really helpful in terms of helping your reader never feel like they’re getting lost as they’re reading what you’ve written.

So in order to help you with that, we’re going to offer you several resources, and you can go to the resource page and take a look at all the different resources that are available to you. There’s a million places you can go online and within the context of these sessions in order to get help with some of those mechanical issues in your writing.

Use Campus Resources

Remember you don’t have to do any of this alone. In fact, when you get other people involved it can be really helpful. Earlier in this session we talked about reading out loud for content to make sure everything makes sense. I also think reading out loud for mechanics makes good sense, too. If you can read what you’re saying out loud, you can often find sentence errors even if you’re not sure what the sentence error is, you’ll get an intuitive sense of what sounds right and what doesn’t, and sometimes that can be really helpful. Remember, too, that there are other resources.

Almost every campus I can think of has a writing center, and going to the writing center to get help, not only with your content but also with your mechanics, can be a really great resource as well. So remember to bring other people into this equation. Also don’t deal out your professor. As I, you know, as I tell my students, it’s really great to have conversations about writing with my students. So use the resources that you have, the writing center, friends who are in the class, your instructor’s office hours. All those things can help you to design something that really feels like a polished piece of writing once you’ve taken it all the way through all the stages of the writing process from pre-writing all the way through the end of revision and editing.

Thank you so much for listening.