Seeing The Light
John L. Waters
Use down arrow or vertical scroll bar
to view whole page!
Copyright 2000 by John L. Waters.
All Rights Reserved.
October 28, 2000
Part A:
On April 7, 1971, John's mood suddenly became highly
elevated. He believed that at long last all his money
worries were over. In addition, he'd been put in
contact with a higher intelligence that was cruising
the universe in space ships as large as the Moon. His
half-brother the psychic, UFO channeller,
crystal-gazer, and karmic astrologer, had facilitated
this incredible transformation in John.
John's wife didn't understand what was going on. She
couldn't follow John's thinking at all. And something
else was decidedly odd. For the first time in John's
life, he noticed a green light in his eyes whenever he
gazed upon the blinking white "Miller High Life" sign
which stood near the top of a large plate glass window
at the bar at the corner of Fountain Avenue and Gordon
Street.
What set John up for this? Since October of 1969 the
man had been living in Hollywood with his wife and
young son, writing songs and song lyrics, trying to
find a publisher. By 1971 John had signed only two
song contracts and still he had no income. He'd had
no income since June of 1968. And since 1968 John had
felt an increasing pressure to make money.
People kept telling John that he needed to get a
regular job and start making money. To add to this
stress, John's living conditions were very unpleasant.
The neighbors were loud at any time of day or night.
John's apartment had recently been robbed. At night
it wasn't safe to walk outdoors alone.
What made matters even worse, usually the air was
smog-laden and tasted metallic. Furthermore, people
were using dubious methods of understanding John and
counseling him. John's wife cast his horoscope and
made many astrological interpretations. She also
analyzed his handwriting. John's half-brother gave
the man psychic readings and filled him with ideas
about his past and his future. John didn't know what
to believe!
In addition, John met this song producer Allan Bree
who liked some of his lyrics and in April of 1971 John
met another producer Phil Digee who really liked a new
song John wrote with Fred who was a long-haired
hippie. This added a lot of fuel to the fire. John
became increasingly excited. On top of this, two days
before John took the new song to Phil, John had eaten
a marshmallow chick Fred offered him. This
sugar-coated
Easter goodie had enough LSD in it to send even the
Chief of Police down the rabbit hole into Alice's
Wonderland.
On April 13, 1971, John was admitted to the Los
Angeles
County Hospital. Dr. Thunderberg diagnosed him to be
suffering from "schizophrenia, undifferentiated type.
Chronic, with exacerbation of symptoms." This was
John's initiation into the modern American mental
health system.
At the hospital John was put on anti-psychotic
medications. He stayed on these medications
conscientiously until November 17, 1976. After moving
to Humboldt County, in 1979 John started to feel very
euphoric again and some of his bizarre ideas returned.
His mood became highly elevated once again but this
time he'd taken no LSD.
John felt that God was guiding him and healing his
many chronic disorders. He rode this feeling like a
surfer rides waves on the Bonzai Pipeline. By 1980
John was certain that he'd made a major discovery.
John believed that this green light he saw in his eyes
was an energy entirely new to science.
John talked with many local people and a middle-aged
hippie told him that Wilhelm Reich had done
independent research on a healing energy he called
orgone energy. So John looked up Wilhelm Reich and
studied his books. And someone else told John that he
should read the United States Government publication
"The Trail of the Blue Sun," which includes
testimonials by local Native American shamans.
John followed all these leads and more, and
he tested the sense of this green healing energy in
other people. The man recorded other people's reports
on what they sensed. He didn't offer people drugs and
he didn't use drugs.
Several people reported that they felt nauseated after
this testing. John noticed that as he was sensing the
green energy his desire to eat was greatly reduced,
and he had no appetite at all for animal matter. In
1979 John himself became a strict vegetarian. He ate
very little when he was most active as a senser and a
transmitter of this green energy.
In 1981 John wrote a paper entitled "The
Equilibration Principle of Unified Field Theory" and
submitted it to the Dean of Science at Humboldt State
University. Dr. Barratt visited with John many times
and wrote a letter on John's behalf, recommending that
scientists test this new theory of altered perceptions
and healing energy.
Okay. So if there actually is a green healing energy,
why should John have needed to be healed in April of
1971, so that he saw this green healing energy in his
eyes? In 1971 what was so wrong with John that he
truly needed to be healed?
First of all, all his life, John had been autistic.
In other words, John didn't communicate well with
people. He didn't use body language and voice
modulation in speech and he didn't make eye contact
with people. He had grown up being expected to
compensate for his handicap without special assistance
from professionals who are experts on that condition.
John's autism made it impossible for him to follow
other people's subtle non-verbal communications and
their fast-paced conversations.
Part B:
John grew up living in a separate reality. He was
unusually happy at home and sang most all the time at
home. And as a man John still lived in a different
world. He wasn't realistic about his lack of musical
training, and his talent as a writer of song lyrics
was limited by his lack of experience with people.
John had no way of understanding all that's required
for a person to write a hit song. Furthermore, John
had no way of knowing he had autism. And he had other
chronic health problems as well.
For example, at about the age of three John had a
sickness which his mother thought was rheumatic fever.
After that, his heartbeat was irregular. John tired
easily and he couldn't always keep up with other boys.
Even at age thirty-nine, John's heartbeat was still
irregular. But the healing energy eliminated this
irregularity in less than a year.
In addition, John had an inferiority complex which
came as a result of his lack of physical coordination,
his lack of eye contact with other people and his odd
manners which included using mainly the right side of
his mouth to speak, and his general slowness of
speech, so that often he had nothing to contribute to
a
conversation. And John had almost no voice modulation
which made him unpleasant to listen to when he did
talk.
Furthermore, John had dormant hidden talents which had
never been vigorously pushed out in front so that
people could see the ways in which he was talented.
Like so many other autistic people, John just had a
very weak ego-strength. So John really needed a lift
from the Big Holy as some Native Americans call It.
Other cultures have different names for the same
Presence.
But when the big lift came in April of 1971, and John
began to sense the green light and feel linked
directly to the God-head, society intervened and
administered stelazine, artane, valium and elavil.
The psychiatrist had no way to actually understand all
that was happening to John.
John had learned no way to integrate this communion
with the God-head in with his ordinary wakeful
rational consciousness. So he couldn't regulate the
process and he lost sanity. John's behavior was
frightening to his family.
In 1979, when this process started up again, John was
fortunate because he lived close to Patrick's Point
State Park, which has sites which were sacred to the
Yurok Indians. And John worked with a number of local
persons known for their healing powers. Mostly,
though, John just worked with himself and with the
environment. This process caused John to review his
life hundreds of times, and see things and persons
from entirely new perspectives.
Before re-establishing his sensitivity to the green
light, In 1979 John suffered from arthritis in his
left foot so severely that often he couldn't walk at
all. He had bursitis in his right shoulder, which
sometimes made it impossible for him to lift a hammer
and drive a
nail or throw a ball. John still had his irregular
heartbeat. He had frequent tooth decay and occasional
nosebleeds. He had spells of depression and spells of
manic activity. Sometimes John felt the only solution
to his problem was for him to take his own life.
John's odd manners were annoying and disconcerting to
people. And he spent most of his time doing things
which seemed to have no purpose or value.
In 1977 and 1978 John had worked on building a house
with the help of his family and a local university
construction class. This cooperative effort motivated
John to work physically harder than he'd ever
worked in his life. It also made John feel
better emotionally to see that his work was producing
something so real and so tangible!
However, during the construction work, John was often
in pain due to his arthritis and his bursitis. Because
of this pain, on some days the man couldn't work at
all. John ate every half hour or so to keep from
feeling faint. He ate peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches, chocolate, and concentrated soups right
out of the can. He took frequent rests and usually he
worked entirely alone.
In 1978 John started visiting two local
psychotherapists. One, a nutritionist,
encouraged John to try the orthomolecular cure to
see if this would improve his mental functioning.
John took bonemeal, kelp, and lots of megavitamins.
But this treatment just gave him a lot more intestinal
gas, and it didn't cure his arthritis, his
bursitis, or his spells of faintness and dizziness.
John really needed something a lot more potent than
the orthomolecular cure. In 1979 John began seeing
the green energy again. The man's mental and physical
hyperactivity returned and his family became gravely
concerned.
After John began perceiving this green energy every
day, he became a strict vegetarian and his weight went
down to about 120 pounds. John's family was afraid
the man was starving himself to death. John's mood
was very elevated and he walked all over Arcata and
visited
with dozens of people there.
Before 1979 John had to carry candy bars and peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches with him wherever he went
because he would often become faint unless he ate.
This hypoglycemic condition went away totally in 1980!
At the same time John's irregular heartbeat became
regular! His cravings ceased! The debilitating pains
in his shoulders and in his left foot went away! It
seemed like a miracle!
When John was most euphoric he was inspired to offer
himself freely to others as a helper. He had intuited
The Christ's message of helping others freely as the
future way of sharing time, talent, and goods with
others. He offered to others a new organization that
he called The Aquarian Center, which, as he said,
would make the life and teachings of Jesus Christ and
the reality of the green healing energy demonstrable
and tangible to all people. But many people just
dismissed John as insane. And the inspired man found
no medical experts who were sincerely interested in
repeatedly testing his amazing theory.
It took years for John's situation to really
become clear to him. The man studied many books about
Wilhelm Reich and other explorers on the subject of
healing by use of an "alternative" energy. John
actually helped some local persons and in return they
made suggestions which enabled him to find more
direction for his unusual life.
This has gradually worked into John's examining the
assumptions people make without looking from different
points of view, and the way so many people leap to a
conclusion without considering all the possibilities,
and the hard discipline given to young children, many
of whom are sensitive to the inspiring energy.
Summary of Parts A and B:
John grew up with a chronic handicap in social
interaction and in other forms of communication.
Despite this, he was expected to compensate for his
autism and function as a non-handicapped worker in
society. In addition, as an adult John suffered from
a number of worsening physical and mental disorders.
To compensate for these chronic difficulties, John
became more sensitive to a field of energy not yet
known to science. John tapped into this field of
energy and it drove him insane. Later he began to
work at better integrating this field of energy into
his life. This integration caused John to better
understand the message of the Old Testament Prophets
who taught about the coming of Christ The Messiah and
the coming Aquarian society of peace on Earth.
Part C:
On some days John takes the whole day off and goes to
the beach. He lets go of the conventional mind-set
and lets the healing process work. John finds a
secluded spot, takes off all his clothes except his
shorts, lies on his back and gazes up into the sky.
He totally relaxes his eyes and his mind.
At the beach it's easy for John to relax and sense the
green energy and other energies. When John is relaxed
like this he doesn't talk and he doesn't think the way
he is thinking right now as he composes this piece of
writing. And John's eyes don't burn like his eyes are
burning right now, in the exposure to the light coming
off the computer monitor. And when John is healed and
he goes into a room where there is a lot of
fluorescent lighting, his eyes burn and he really
can't stay in there. John is very sensitive to light.
Just as in other realms of energy, certain persons are
very sensitive, so they hear what people are saying a
block away. Some people see in the dark or recognize
a face at a thousand meters. Some people make good
wine-tasters or perfume-sniffers. But most people
are not so sensitive. It's the same way with this
green energy. Some people are affected by it but most
are not. Probably most people have never noticed it.
The way John looks at this green energy is that some
people are fairly sensitive to it and it can make then
suffer from indigestion. It can make them feel
spooked. It can give them an eerie feeling and it can
even make them get some flights of ideas and say or do
some odd things. It can affect their brain activity
so they hear sounds and see objects which do not
really exist.
Western culture has committed itself to hard science.
To become a professional scientist a young person
learns to become disciplined in his thinking. He
expects a claim to be backed up with hard evidence.
So John has written up a number of experimental
tests which he has presented to people. Furthermore,
John has obtained reports from adults he tested.
These are anecdotal reports.
The energy John senses in his eyes and in other parts
of his body can be projected to other people who sense
the energy more or less profoundly. In 1980, 1981,
and 1982 John attended several local gatherings where
a professional psychic was present and she told people
that John's aura was golden and brighter than most
of the other auras she had ever seen. If John had
been
funded, it would have been easy to get documentation
from a large number of professional sensitized psychic
readers.
In 1978 John got the idea that when the famous 17th
century mystic and philosopher Jacob Boehme stared at
the sun's reflection off a pewter vessel and was
transported into a realm of alternative perceptions he
considered "Divine," the shoemaker was just doing the
same thing that thousands of autistic waifs do when
they gaze into sparkling water or into the sun,
sometimes for many minutes at a time. This was a
flash of insight which John had after spending many
months visiting libraries and studying books on
autism, schizophrenia, mysticism, and other topics.
Autism is a fairly common disorder. About five boys
in
ten thousand develop what medical specialists diagnose
as infantile autism. Many autistic children gaze at
the sun or at other lights, sometimes for minutes at a
time. Charles Muses has written a paper in which he
presents an old Egyptian account of how young boys
were taught to utter prophecy by gazing at the flame
of a lamp. This technique was a science in Egypt
about five thousand years ago.
Some modern psychologists would suggest that by gazing
at the flame of a lamp the boy was hypnotized by the
flame. And while in an hypnotic state the boy was
able to do something considered impossible, that is,
get information from the future. This is termed
scrying.
In the case of modern autistic children who are often
seen gazing into flames or other bright objects, there
is no way to get these children to explain in detail
exactly why they are engaging in this behavior. Many
autistic children do not speak at all. And even a
ten-year-old autistic child who did speak, wouldn't
convince a skeptic that there is any value in
staring blankly at the sun or at the flames of a fire.
Even so, there is a piece of writing about Leonardo
Da Vinci gazing at a wall to envision whole
landscapes for his paintings. Nostradamus was also
known to gaze into a bowl of water to see visions that
some people believed were visions of the future.
Perhaps this gazing induces the unconscious mind to
become more active.
In 1978 and 1979 when John determined that the doctors
simply had no way to really help him recover his
health, he still had inside of himself this latent
ability that all people have, but they don't know
about it. They don't know what the option is! The
option is that they can stimulate their brains to
bring up a latent talent inside the unconscious, a
latent talent which Christ hinted at and which that
Western culture just has rejected or just not ever
figured out how to use.
Part D:
On the kitchen table a few inches to the right of
John's word processor, eleven small plastic pill
bottles stand upright. Usually John keeps them inside
a 48 ounce glass peanut butter jar.
These bottles contain medications John used to take
every day so that he would no longer show the symptoms
of schizophrenia. He took these antipsychotic
medications from April 13, 1971 until November 17,
1976. Four of these pill bottles contain
trifluoroperazine or stelazine. Stelazine is
prescribed to eliminate psychotic symptoms. Two
labels say, "Take one tablet three times daily." The
other two labels say, "Take one tablet at bedtime."
Two other bottles contain diazepam or valium. Each
pill is two milligrams. John took four of these
tablets each and every day for five and a half years.
They were prescribed to reduce his anxiety.
Four of the bottles contain amitriptyline or elavil.
These pills were prescribed to elevate John's mood.
Three times a day the man took one of these.
The last bottle contains artane. John was on artane
for a few months in 1971, which is the year he had his
acute schizophrenic episode, the one that put him in
the hospital. The artane was prescribed to relieve
certain side-effects of the stelazine.
Occasionally John brings out his peanut butter jar
full
of pill bottles and shows it to people. On each
bottle you can read the date the prescription was
filled, John's name, and the name of his doctor. This
helps you realize that John's case was real and that
other chronically sick individuals might be helped by
following this amazing new method of treatment.
Psychotropic medications often made John very
depressed, so that he learned to drink coffee to
counter-act the depression. On most days John drank
twelve or even more cups of coffee, and each cup was
sweetened with sugar and mellowed with whole milk.
This was a fattening treat John enjoyed throughout the
day.
On a good day John composed forty singable melodies,
sixty short poems, and twenty or thirty colorful pen
drawings. On a bad day John found it hard to start
working. He would go back to bed and just lie there
buried under the covers.
When John felt too depressed, the warmth of his bed
and the comforts in his body would take him back to
remembering about being in First Grade and lying under
the covers in his mother's bed on a morning when he
just couldn't face going to school. The anxiety, the
pain, and the frustration in John weren't something
the boy could explain to his mother or to anyone else.
Something was profoundly wrong and later that year
the school authorities made an investigation but
nothing conclusive was found. And no one really
examined John.
John's fear of school was rational and understandable.
The problem was that John couldn't use his eyes and
see well enough and communicate well enough to get
people to take him seriously. If John had been
articulate, he would have been able to explain clearly
the reasons why school was so intimidating to him.
When John was seven years old he hadn't yet learned to
read. But even at age three he was humming and
singing
melodies all through the house. The house was filled
with John's joyful music. And what made the little
boy
so happy was his own happy nature.
John's special sensitivity was to musical sounds, not
to conversation. But there wasn't enough musical
training for John. Nearly all the training at school
was in listening to the teacher talk, and in looking
at the blackboard covered with printed words and at
books filled with printed matter. In elementary
school there were sometimes short singing sessions but
John was able to respond to fine instrumental music as
well as to the sounds of children singing.
John also was a precocious designer. Even at the age
of four, as the boy sang songs to himself, he arranged
nails and burnt match heads into patterns on the
floor. Patterns fascinated him. What failed to
interest John as much, though, were printed letters
and words. He was more artistic than conversational
and literary. The energy and the beauty of nature
inspired John.
John adjusted to school well enough to get by.
However, he never made eye contact with people, he
rarely talked at school, and he couldn't participate
in team sports without being in the way and making so
many mistakes that other boys would get angry at him.
So John found school very intimidating and sickening.
And his handicap made subtle articulation impossible.
At home John showed several strong interests. The boy
had a green thumb. He grew many trees and shrubs from
seeds and from cuttings. John kept hives of bees from
ninth grade until the age of 25. He kept weather
records from the age of ten until the age of
twenty-one. He excelled in college science and
mathematics courses. In spite of his handicaps, John
did well in certain subjects. These subjects required
little reading and little social interaction.
John had problems in his brain. In l954 when John was
in ninth grade, the school conducted an investigation
and it was decided that the young man was "probably
brain-damaged." This was written on an official
report that got filed at the Santa Barbara County
Superintendent Of Schools office. No further medical
examination was made. John was just expected to keep
up with his peers. In fact sometimes he was placed in
a class for gifted children.
Some people called John lazy, because it seemed to
them that if John would only try harder or persist
longer, that the thing he was trying to do would be
possible for him. But John would quit, and this would
make the person think he was lazy. But John's
handicaps were never clear to these people because
John himself didn't stand up and declare the truth
about himself and his handicaps. John didn't really
understand himself. Autistic children don't.
When he was twenty-four years old, John discovered
that he had an inner reserve which enabled him to
produce many song melodies one right after the other:
twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more in a few hours,
as if by magic. But when John first discovered this,
the process made him shake and sweat. And the young
man wondered where this newly-discovered ability came
from. He naively wondered if it came from God.
Twenty years later John was able to use this same
process to produce twenty, thirty, forty, or even
fifty pages of typed prose each day. He would just sit
at the typewriter and type all day. In this way he
got many ideas through his body that he couldn't ever
get through his conscious mind. Because that was just
a talent John had.
Often John sits in an entranced state. He holds a
small electronic keyboard-synthesizer on his lap and
plays music for hours at a time. As electronically
generated sounds of a rare quality fill the air, John
runs a cassette tape recorder and records his live
performances. Later the man sits at an electronic
word processor and types as sublime overtones fill
the room with heavenly music. Without the right
tools, John shows no talent.
2:35PM Wednesday, October 11, 2000
Revised 9:00PM Saturday, October 28, 2000
4:10PM Tuesday, November 21, 2000
John L. Waters
The information on this page represents that of
John Waters and not
necessarily that of Humboldt State University. John
Waters takes full
responsibility for the information presented.
This page is maintained by: John Waters