Why is Everyone Wearing Squid Game Halloween Costumes? And Why didn’t I get the Memo? (Olympian Goes Onion)

By: Raymond Meng

Homer High School freshmen Anakin Treebeard was sighted stumbling at the Fall Ball. Dressed in a hot pink Sailor Moon costume, Treebeard trepidatiously tiptoed around the dance floor, unnerved by the countless  Squid Game masks staring at him. There was no music -- only an eerie beeping sound. As the hot pink blob was slowly being surrounded by a sea of black Squid Game masks, Treebeard felt that something wasn’t quite right. Perhaps, he thought, he had missed the memo.

When asked about why he was nervously twitching his eyes back and forth, eyeing the mob of black masks with Playstation shapes on them, Treebeard awkwardly tugged on the short skirt of his Sailor Moon costume, not really knowing what to say: “Ummm, why is everyone wearing Squid Game masks? I didn’t know this was the theme for the Fall Ball haha. Like I don’t know about you, but like, I feel kinda out of place ya know? And like why is there a beeping sound, like is there a fire alarm haha? Why is everyone looking at me like that? Haha.”

Anakin Treebeard, seemingly secluded from the rest of the crowd, sought refuge with one of the Olympian’s journalists. “Sooooo, how do you like my costume? It’s kinda cute right? No one here is really talking about how great my outfit is so yeah, do you like it hehe? Hey, is it just me, or am I getting some weird vibes?”

Later, reporters noticed that Treebeard was acting increasingly erratic, scratching his hot pink nail polish and nibbling on his nails. “Ummmmmm, so nice costumes guys, they fit really well together. Did you guys plan this or something? Or was this just a coincidence haha? Hello? Oh my gawd, you guys are not even talking to me, was this planned too? Was it?”

Anakin Treebeard was last sighted accepting a business card from one of the masked men.