This article completes the study on Women Out Of Control.
1 Corinthians 14:35
If they [the women] want to learn anything, they must ask their own husbands at home; because speaking in church [as a pastor] keeps on being shameful for a woman.
Review
In the last article, we examined the restrictions on women in the church's ministry (See Topic #25). In that article, we covered two of the three imperatives found in verse 34:
Paul's demand for silence is not extreme or uncalled for; in fact, it is a matter of common sense. How can you learn anything if you are talking? Silence means that the believer actively listens and concentrates with a positive desire to learn the Word of God. It doesn't mean sit down and be quiet. At times, I have heard hurtful comments made regarding women that are drawn from these verses, such as that a woman should be seen and not heard or should sit down and shut up. These are gross misunderstandings of what the Bible teaches. Silence is a principle that should be imposed, and it applies equally to men.
Think of this principle as a coin. On the one side of the coin, we have the word "silence." On the other side of the coin, we have the word "listen." Both words describe one activity. All of us are to be silent when the Word of God is being taught, and most of us could use a little help in improving our listening. In fact, here are five ways we can all improve our silent--listening.
James 1:19
Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
Someone who is "swift to hear and slow to speak" is a person who is a good listener. Good listeners try to understand what is being said, and as a result, they are slow to anger; that is, they are less likely to become angry due to a misunderstanding. This happens far too regularly in personal communication. We are ready and eager to speak, and so we stop listening. All the time the other person is speaking, we are waiting our turn to talk, and we are thinking about what we will say, and therefore we misinterpret the other person. Now, James is counseling us to listen to each other better. This applies to our passage, for "being an eager and ready listener" means that when the Word of God is being taught, we listen with a strong desire to learn. Listening is more than sounds passing through our ears. It is having the right attitude and listening to the message to learn.
Hebrews 5:11
of whom we have much to say, and hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. “
People generally could be better listeners. We usually remember best what we disagree with or object to. As sinners, we have learned some very bad habits. What does dull of hearing mean? It doesn’t mean “not to hear” as if we were deaf. Dull of hearing means hearing poorly, in an unenthusiastic, and largely unreceptive manner. This kind of hearing leads to apathy or indifference toward the Word of God. When a drain pipe is clogged, and the water trickles out, we say, "It is stopped up" not "there is no water." Dull of hearing means the water is coming through poorly. There are obstructions which have to be moved. What are the causes?
Some causes are related to the subject matter of teaching. Sometimes, believers become dull of hearing when the subject being taught is familiar to them. "I have heard that all before" is one response. Repetition can be very tedious to you. Do you have this problem? In marriage, it sounds like this, "l know! I know! I know!”. Sometimes, believers become dull of hearing when the subject may not interest them. There are hundreds of subjects in Bible study; some we find fascinating, and others are not as interesting. We often practice selective hearing. We listen to only what appeals to us. When I talk about prophecy, it perks people up. When did you last see a book on discipleship, prayer, or Bible study on a best-seller list? We only choose to hear what appeals to us. That is selective hearing, that is a bad habit, that is a sinful habit. God says, “ALL Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable.”
Sometimes, believers become dull of hearing when the subject may not meet their present needs. You are having a spiritual battle with worry. You come to church hoping that God will speak to you. You are looking for God's help. You are eager to hear God's wonderful Word. The Pastor announces his sermon topic: "The Four Claims of Christ." What do you do at that moment? If you are dull of hearing, words do not engage your heart. Jesus taught this in the Parable of the Sower. The seeds, the Word of God, fell to the ground with thorns. Jesus explained:
Matthew 13:22
“And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.
This is a very sad commentary on what happens when the Word of God is taught to this believer, for it has no spiritual value, or as Jesus says, "it becomes unfruitful."
Sometimes, believers become dull of hearing because the message is poorly communicated. Pastors are human and can be at their worst rather than their best. I sat under a pastor once who lacked emotion and spoke softly and quietly, and I am ashamed of this; he put me to sleep. I had to fight against that every week.
Some difficulties arise due to the personalities of the person who is teaching. Some like their pastors tall and others short, some loud, others soft spoken, we all have our own preferences. If you don't like your pastor, you probably will end up in a state of mind called dull of hearing. We all have our own pastoral profile. Also, it could be that the pastor let you down. He fails to fulfill some expectations that you have. He says something you disagree with, and you are angry with him. This will affect your hearing of the Word.
In the pastorate, I used to say, "I am not meant to be everybody's pastor.” I wish to be everybody's pastor and hope that everyone who comes through those doors will allow me that privilege, but I know not everyone will stay and make this their church family. I don't take that personally. I am not offended by that. I follow the Lord's lead in these matters." Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice."
Some causes are related to personality conflicts in the congregation. Jesus spoke about this in Matthew 5:23-24:
23] (Jesus said)... if you bring your gift to the altar (at a worship service) and there remember that your brother has something against you, (conflict between two people in the church family)
24] leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Our Lord Jesus says that settling differences has priority over worship. WHY? Because if you are harboring mental attitude sins toward another person in the church family, if you are bitter, resentful, jealous, or critical, it will clog up the drain and cause hearing problems! We must deal with these sinful thoughts to hear God's word correctly.
Picture this! It is Sunday morning, and the church is full. The pastor is about to speak. His custom is to announce the message and say a few words to give everyone a frame of reference. Then, he has a time of prayer to invoke God’s blessing before presenting the message. Imagine that while he is praying, we join in with our prayer:
"Heavenly Father, make this Word clear and understandable. Help me apply the message to my life today. Change me, Lord into a likeness of your Son.”
This is how we become ready and eager to listen to the Word of God. In this prayer, humbly confess any known sin in your life. James has some advice:
James 1:21 Get rid of all moral filth and humbly accept the Word.
If I have a glass filled with water and I want to pour a soda into it, the first thing I've got to do is pour out the water. James says to eliminate all the garbage in your life so that God can fill your life with the Word "and humbly accept the Word." When I hear a pastor or a Bible teacher speak, and I don't get anything out of the sermon, my first reaction is not to be, "What's wrong with him?" No, I ask, "What's wrong with me?" If he is quoting Scripture, I ought to at least be challenged by that and ask, "How does that apply to my life?" So, if I'm not getting anything out of the message, I need to look under the hood and examine my own heart.
Hebrews 2:1
We must pay more careful attention to what we've heard, so that we do not drift away!
I want to challenge you to keep a notebook. You will be more likely to remember what you hear if you note what is said. Our pastors understand how to teach, and one thing we always get is an outline that presents the main idea of the message and blanks for us to fill in as the message progresses. This is a great tool to help us listen. Follow the outline, fill in the blanks, and review the study during the week; with this in mind, Jesus may be testing you on this sometime during the week.
James 1: 22
Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
The Bible says that to really be blessed when you hear a sermon, you need to put it into practice. Many people came out on Sunday morning saying, "That was such a great message." Then you never see them again. They are moved, but they're not transformed. The Bible says we need to put it into practice. In our churches, our pastors always end their messages with personal applications for the lesson just taught. This is a tremendous help.
However, if your church does not provide this kind of aid, then you must ask what this means to me and how I can apply it.
Before we move on in this article, why not stop here? Review the causes of "dull of hearing" and write down the point you need to work on the most. ls it, to be ready and eager to learn? Is it to remove the roadblocks that deal with the attitudes that prevent hearing God? Is it confessing the sin in your life? Do I need to take notes on what I hear? How about I need to act on what I hear? Start today with a disciplined effort to change what you need to work on to improve your listening. Silence is not being quiet; it is listening to learn.
Does this apply to our text? Silence and good listening practices are absolutely critical for learning. Those Christians who are indifferent or apathetic to the teaching of the Word are spiritually handicapped. They may be silent, but they are spiritually asleep. The Scriptures assert that the inability to receive the in-depth teaching of God's truth indicates carnality, lack of spirituality (1 Corinthians 3:1-3), and immaturity (Hebrews 5:11-14). Why would God go to the trouble of revealing His glorious truths and having them written down in the inspired and permanent record of Scripture if He wasn't vitally concerned that His people should know them?
Two: The Second Imperative Is That Women Are Not Permitted To Speak [As A Pastor].
Their role is not to seek to lead the church but to respond to its leadership, which comprises pastors and deacons, offices designated for men. These restrictions are rooted in two events found in the Law. The role of women in the home and the church is linked to the creation of the woman, Genesis 2:18-25; cp 1 Corinthians 11:8,9; 1 Timothy 2:13. In this passage, we learn how God designed the woman and the purpose He gave her to fulfill. The second event is the judgment upon Eve for her participating in the rebellion in the Garden of Eden, Genesis 3:16; 1 Timothy 2:14,15.
Three: The Third Imperative Is Women Are To Be Submissive.
There's no getting around it; this word gets a bad rap. Mentioning it in some circle could start a war. I believe it is called the war between the sexes. I think this will continue as long as the prevailing idea about submissiveness is that it is a feminine quality. I find in Scripture that submissiveness is a godly quality; it is even better to see it as a Christ-like quality.
Before Paul instructs the wives to submit to their husbands [Ephesians 5:22], he challenges all of us, both men and women, "to be subject to one another" [Ephesians 5:21]. Submissiveness is a Christ-like quality that all members of the royal family are to demonstrate in our Christian walk. The motivation to do so is respect for Christ. Our love for the Lord Jesus drives us in the spirit of Philippians 2:2,3 to regard one another with respect and preferential treatment, even if sometimes we put others first. Why do we do this? Because, as Paul teaches, it is the best way to show that we are believers and Christ is living in us.
Our Lord Jesus Christ is the illustration that Paul provides for submission, in the context of Philippians 2, "He was obedient to the death even the death of the cross" Philippians 2:7. He turned over his "rights" and "freedom" to act independently of His Father. What He does, He does not for His own personal benefit but for the sake of others. He had us in mind. He always had His Father's best interest at heart. He is the perfect picture of submissiveness that one can find. It is a Christ-like quality.
The Apostle Peter reminds husbands "to honor their wives." Why? Because they are equal partners in their spiritual lives and walk with God, "... grant to her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life" 1 Peter 3:7. Certainly, the picture here is that wives submit to an equal and they do so to please HIM [the Lord Jesus Christ]. Paul brings this out in this passage:
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD.
I understand and sympathize with wives wanting to be free of domineering, dictatorial, and overbearing husbands. Let me be clear, stupid husbands. Unfortunately, overreaction to those men who are misogynistic and chauvinistic, little boys in adult bodies who do not know how to lead their families, overlook the many men of grace who are serving their families. True, responding to a man who doesn't lead is hard. Despite this problem, there is no ignoring that the Scripture, on seven occasions characterized the woman's role to respond to her husband's leadership. 1 Never is the wife to be a doormat. That idea is foreign to the concept of Biblical submission. A woman must help her husband lead the family by advising, counseling, and suggesting in a non-combative, non-competitive manner the direction of the family that best glorifies and honors the Lord and holds the family's welfare as the highest priority in the Christian home.
The Spiritual Goal To Reach
In 1 Timothy 2:11,12, before Paul prohibits women from teaching or exercising authority over a man, he precedes these verses by stating that these qualities, submissiveness and quietness, befit a woman claiming godliness. These are two of the exemplary qualities on display in the life of a godly woman. This passage was written to a pastor about the role of women in his church. They do not possess the gift to lead the church, so don't place them in that role. However, they are not hindered from executing their very own spiritual life and thus obtain the goal of godliness or Christlikeness.
It is hard to know precisely how this instruction fits the Corinthian situation because Paul does not give us any particulars. What we do know is that the primary function of the church was being jeopardized, so whatever the women were doing during public worship were now being told to do it at home. Whatever their questions, legitimate or otherwise, they were disturbing the church and hindering the teaching of the Word of God. I would like to be a fly on the wall so I could listen in on the service and then report to you what was being said. I suspect they were asking questions that would be better discussed privately between a husband and wife at home. It is hard to believe that Paul would describe legitimate theological questions as improper, a word that also means shameful or disgraceful, as I believe it does here.
The prohibition is given to protect the woman so that she might fulfill the goal of growing spiritually and becoming a godly woman. This was more important than owning a spiritual gift she could never possess. So, she does not seek after leadership positions in the church. She does not seek to exercise authority over men in the congregation. These are all negatives, but now we are given the positive side. She is to seek to learn in the sphere of submissiveness and quietness. I must quickly add these are the necessary qualities we all must have in order to learn.
Shame When The Standard Is Broken
As the Scripture says, "because speaking in the church [as a pastor] keeps on being shameful for a woman.” I find no shame among those women in the Feminist Movement who, through arrogance, want to turn from their femininity. They want authority. They want to rule. They want to be in charge. They want the government to overturn what God has created and the role of women that He has established. Their anti-establishment position must be seen in the light of Scripture, and the church must call it what it is-- EVIL! It is the same poison that Satan spued in the Garden of Eden, which Eve listened to and acted upon. "God was not fair to her," Satan said, and she believed him.
The common mantra of the Women's Movement is that women are unfairly treated. I agree that some of their complaints are socially right and should be corrected. However, I draw the line when they say the idea of the role of submissiveness demeans them as a person. If I am not equal to a man, I am not worthwhile. I am not important. This is just ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous. A woman claiming godliness does not think that way. Christian women should recognize their role before God and celebrate it. This passage is about their role and not their ratings.
These two articles on the subject "Women Out Of Control" only touch briefly on what the Scripture says about the role of women in the home and the church. A fuller treatment must be done at another time, but I want to encourage the ladies. Women in the ministry are a great blessing, and their participation makes the church stronger and healthier. 2
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1 1 Corinthians 14:34; Ephesians 5:24; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 2:11; 1 Peter 3:1,5.
2. I believe there are many places where qualified women should be selected as church staff members [such as deaconesses] to teach and counsel other women in the congregation. Women may often counsel women better than a male pastor. Having a woman help the women of the church better understand their roles as wives, mothers, and servants of God, as well as helping them with specific emotional concerns, should be a priority. Churches should explore ways in which the gifts and talents of women might be more fully exercised within the Body of Christ. At the same time, we must honor the Biblical restrictions set down by Paul.