There is a Bible story that I would like to use to introduce this study on learning how to be thankful. It is found in Luke 17:11-19. Here we have the story of how Jesus healed TEN lepers. How many lepers were healed? TEN! How many returned to give thanks? ONE! I believe the point of this story is that true gratitude is hard to find.
The Problem of the Lepers (vss 11-12)
As Jesus entered a certain village, He was met by ten lepers whose common misery had drawn them together. A leper was an outcast, feared by all, hated by all. No one would have anything to do with them, and really no one had any sympathy for them. Our text tells us "THEY STOOD AFAR OFF." They were acting in accordance with the law for the law said:
"All the days wherein the plague (leprosy) shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall be his habitation." (Leviticus 13:46)
The Purification of the Lepers (vss 13‑14)
Jesus arrives on the scene. His instructions were in keeping with the prescribed laws regarding leprosy. The priests were appointed by God to decide whether the leper was clean or unclean, cured or uncured. So He instructed them to go to the temple in Jerusalem to be pronounced clean. With no sign of restoration, they promptly obeyed His command. This was evidence of their faith. The promise of Christ had more weight with them than the actual sight of their disease. Still possessing their foul sickness and still smelling the stench of rotten skin, they obeyed. The closer they got to the temple, with each step of faith they took, their leprosy began to disappear, and finally, they all noticed that their leprosy was completely gone. What a joy they must have felt at that time. What a powerful moment in the lives of these men who were prisoners of this terrible plague.
The Purpose of the story (vss 15‑18)
One out of the ten returned to thank the Lord, to express his appreciation, and the Bible says, he was a Samaritan; that is, he was the least likely to have returned. The Samaritans and the Jews had an intense hatred for each other. How tragic our Lord's words, "Was no one found to return and give thanks but this (ONE) foreigner. . . ". (Luke 17:18 ) This should not have happened this way. Ten healed lepers should have returned to give thanks. Jesus said that in His day true gratitude was hard to find. The Bible shows us three kinds of people with regard to thankfulness.
The First Group - The Complainers
They go through life characterized by an attitude of grumbling. The first example is the wilderness generation:
“Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. (1 Corinthians 10:9, 10)”
Paul said that one of the distinctive features of the people, who were delivered from Egyptian bondage, after 450 years of slavery, was their tremendous attitude of gratitude. No! I wish it were so, but what set them apart was their GRUMBLING.
A second example is found in Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmuring and disputing." Do Christians grumble and complain? Yes, we do, and I am sad to admit it. God commands the believer that no matter what we do, it is to be done without grumbling and arguing. Please notice that the Scripture says "all things" not most things or some things, but ALL THINGS! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
Jude paints a dark picture of the times just before the closing of the Church Age. He tells us that this is what people are like, "These persons are grumblers, malcontents who live according to their desires and their mouths speak arrogantly, flattering people to gain favor. . ."(Jude 16). In other words, an attitude of thankfulness will be a rare thing. What is not rare is GRUMBLING.
The Second Group -Taking Things for Granted
The second group is those who go through life with a TAKE IT FOR GRANTED ATTITUDE. The first illustration is from our story in Luke 17:11‑19. The nine lepers were not grumbling. We can't fault them there. But they did not return to give thanks. They took their healing for granted. A lot of us are like this. We have been blessed a thousand times over, yet do we express to God and others are an appreciation for God's wonderful grace toward us? No! Then we are taking God for granted. A second passage we can turn to on this idea is Romans 1:21:
“Because that, when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful.”
An entire generation of people is being described by the Apostle Paul. He says they knew God existed, they had an awareness of God, but they were not thankful. They were not grateful for the world that God created or the salvation that God offered. They lived in God's world, and they took it for granted. How many people do you know who are like this today? Are you like this? Again the problem here is not that they were whining or griping, but the lack of gratitude and praise to God.
The Third Group -The Truly Grateful
Lastly, there are those who go through life with an attitude of gratitude. David was such a person. He said, "I will bless the Lord at ALL times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1) Note "all times" and "continually." No room for growling or groaning! David desired to be a person who would express appreciation openly, freely, and under all circumstances to God for God. If David can do this so can we.
Daniel was such a person. The Scripture says that "he kneeled upon his knees three times a day and prayed, and gave thanks before his God. . .".(Daniel 6:10) Daniel's life was characterized by prayer and praise to God for God. If Daniel was such a person, we could be too. The Samaritan in our story was such a person (Luke 17:11‑16). Jesus healed ten lepers. One leper was truly grateful. I believe that the third group is in the minority. What about you? Which group are you in? Let's find out by examining some of our most basic relationships:
Taking A Test
Parents:
“And you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. . . .” (Ephesians 6:4)
“And fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. . .” .(Colossians 3:21)
God's word says, don't irritate your children. Don't exasperate them. Sometimes we fail. We get into the habit of always correcting them; always finding fault, always on their backs, constantly being critical and they forget to balance this out with appreciation. Some parents never express appreciation and take their children for granted. In the Parent-Child relationship, an attitude of gratitude is a rare thing.
Dr. Wayne Mack, a Christian Counselor at the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation in Laverock, PA often gives this homework assignment to parents with specific problems in this area:
The reason he advises parents to do this is that when there are problems, parents are much more open about expressing criticism than appreciation. If this is the case, then our children are going to be more aware of what mommy and daddy don't like about them then what we do appreciate about them. If you have children here is how you can test this. Ask them to make a list. One list will contain "What do you think we appreciate about you? The other list asks them "what do you think we don't appreciate about you?" What you appreciate about them should fill the page. They should be much more aware of what you like about them than what you don't. If your children cannot answer the question or find it difficult maybe it is because you have been taking them for granted.
Children
This is also true of the Child to Parent relationship. Our children learn well, and sometimes they too are quick to express what their parents aren't doing, or won't let them do, or how unfair and unjust their parents are to them. And many parents feel their children don't really appreciate them and this affects them deeply. If any young people are reading this study, let me ask you, "Are you expressing appreciation for the many good things your parents do for you, or do you grumble or take them for granted. When was the last time you squeezed your mom and said, "Hey mom, that was a great meal, I really enjoyed it; or mom, I really appreciate how nice you keep the house, or care for my clothing, or how you show concern for me. How about Dad? I really appreciate how you go to work every day, faithfully bring home the money so that we can eat and have nice things. Listen to God's Word:
“Children...Honor your father and mother. . .” (Ephesians 6:2)
To honor means to reverence them, to highly esteem them, to show appreciation for them. It is a rare thing to find a young person with an attitude of gratitude. Here is something you can do to change this:
I want to add this last thought. If you are a parent and think your children do not appreciate you or take what you do for granted, then first ask yourself, "Have my children learned this from me." Maybe they take us for granted because they have learned from us because we are taking them for granted. We are models in their development.
Husbands
This is also true of the Husband-Wife relationship. Men, we are often remiss in this area. I don't want to be mushy or macho. I want to be Biblical! I want to be like Jesus - spiritually strong. No person defines for me manliness. I find my idea of being a man in Scripture. Here is what it tells me:
"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7)
The idea of the weaker vessel should be understood properly. The more precious and exquisite a piece of china is the thinner more fragile it is. This is the concept. Your wives are to be treated as precious, special, unique, etc. You will notice that this Scripture says that God holds us accountable in the treatment of our wives. There are grave penalties associated with rude and unthoughtful treatment, "so that your prayers may not be hindered." Take this passage to heart. Obey it!
The Song of Solomon is a book which shows the relationship between a husband and wife. In Song of Songs 7:6 he says to his wife "How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love for delights." This is a description of appreciation. When is the last time you said, "How beautiful you are my darling!" Does your wife know that she is beautiful in your eyes? Ask her! Find out! Get on board with the Lord and become more like Him. The world we live in needs to see strong marriages. Men, it starts with us. In Proverbs 31 we have the story of how one man expressed appreciation for his wife. She is to him Mrs. Far Above Rubies. If you need some help on developing an appreciation list for your wife turn to this passage and see how he did it. God put it in the Scripture for a model for us all (Proverbs 31:10‑31). One last illustration from Scripture:
“20) And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
21) So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.
22) And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
23) And the man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:20‑23)
When Adam saw Eve, he said, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Or to put it plainly he said "WUN‑DE‑BAR." Husbands, when was the last time you said to your wife "WOW." True gratitude is hard to find; it is a rare thing. Let me offer this challenge. The 10 to 1 ratio needs to be reversed. There were ten lepers, and only 1 gave thanks. Let's reverse this. Let us praise our wives ten times more than we are ever critical or negative. True gratitude is rare among husbands. But this is also true in the wife to husband relationship. What does the Scripture say to the wives who might be reading this:
“Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. “(Ephesians 5:33)
Wives
The wives are to show respect, to reverence, to esteem, or to praise their husbands. The Song of Solomon is not just for guys; it is for ladies too. How about these passages? The wife is speaking to her husband:
15) “How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves.
16) How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant!
17) The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses.” Song of Solomon 1:15‑17
She likes the way he looks and she praises him for the home that he has provided.
10) “My beloved is dazzling and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.
11) His head is like gold, pure gold; His locks are like clusters of dates, And black as a raven.
12) His eyes are like doves, Beside streams of water, Bathed in milk, And reposed in their setting.
13) His cheeks are like a bed of balsam, Banks of sweet-scented herbs; His lips are lilies, Dripping with liquid myrrh.
14) His hands are rods of gold Set with beryl; His abdomen is carved ivory Inlaid with sapphires.
15) His legs are pillars of alabaster Set on pedestals of pure gold; His Appearance is like Lebanon, Choice as the cedars.
16) His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” Song of Solomon 5:10‑16
There is nothing more to say; it is crystal clear in the passage. She loves him, and he knows it. He knows it because she TELLS HIM specifically what it is she likes about him. Can your husband list more things you don't like about him than what you do like? Ask him! Find out or is it OUCH?
The Family of God
True gratitude is hard to find among believers. The Scripture says "We are to encourage one another and to build up one another." (1 Thessalonians 5:11‑13) How often do we hear or have been involved in our churches with people who are upset and have left the church in anger and frustration? Someone may say, we are sinners and this can't be helped. Where there are people there is friction and friction produces heat and there you have it, a fire breaks out. This is all true, but this is also true: Where the Holy Spirit is Lord there is peace, and therefore no friction and no friction means no fire. Friction is not natural; it is sinful. Are we more apt to criticize everything we see and hear?
Or do we take things for granted! When was the last time you told the pianist or choir you really appreciated the music? When was the last time you said to your child's Sunday School teacher, "I really appreciate the time you spend teaching my family." Make a list of all the ways you have encouraged others in the church and built them up with your kind, thoughtful, and considerate words. Be honest. How many times have you expressed your appreciation to someone in church or have you just been taking things for granted? The Apostle Paul was a thankful person. Take a look at the opening of his letters to the churches: Rom.1:8; 1 Cor.1:4; Eph.1.15; Col.1:3; 1Thes.1:2; 2 Thes. 1:3.
He was thankful for individuals as well as churches: 1 Cor. 16:15-18; 1 Tim. 5:17. How often Paul would write, "I thank my God for every remembrance of you. . . ". Paul is a model of someone who knew how to give thanks to God for all things. If Paul can be such a person, so can we.
True gratitude is a rare thing. It is a rare thing in the Parent-Child relationship. It is a rare thing in the Husband-Wife relationship. It is a rare thing in the Family of God. What is not rare is grumbling, murmuring, gripping and complaining or a take it for granted approach to life. Why did only one out of ten lepers return to give thanks? In the next article, we will discover the answer.