UNDERSTANDING BISEXUALITY

“ ” 

Bisexual is just one of the many non-binary sexual orientations out there.

Understanding Bisexuality

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation where individuals are attracted to more than one gender. Bisexual people, often abbreviated as “bi,” can experience romantic and/or sexual attraction to people of various genders. Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as “the potential to be attracted—romantically and/or sexually—to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.” Bisexual individuals make up a significant part of the queer community. For instance, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey indicates that 75% of young people identifying as lesbian, gay, or bisexual are bisexual. Anyone, regardless of gender, can identify as bisexual or be attracted to multiple genders.

Is Bisexuality Binary?

Some argue that bisexuality implies a binary gender system because the prefix "bi-" means "two" in Greek. Historically, terms related to sexuality were influenced by limited understandings of gender, such as "heterosexual," which means “different from the other of two.” However, the term bisexual has always referred to attraction to more than one gender, not necessarily adhering to a binary view. The meanings of identity terms evolve over time and reflect the diversity of experiences rather than sticking strictly to their literal origins.

**Pansexuality**

Pansexuality is another term used to describe attraction to people of any gender. The prefix “pan-” means “all” in Greek. Pansexual people are attracted to others regardless of gender. While some use "bisexual" and "pansexual" interchangeably, others may prefer one term over the other. It's important to respect individuals' preferred labels, as there’s no superior term—only what feels right for the person.

**Other Identities**

A 2019 survey by YOU on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found over 100 different terms people use to describe their sexuality. Terms like omnisexual, abrosexual, and skoliosexual also describe attraction to multiple genders but may have specific nuances. 

- **Multisexuality** includes all identities involving attraction to more than one gender, unlike **monosexuality**, which involves attraction to a single gender (e.g., gay or straight).

- **Queer** describes an identity that challenges heterosexual norms and carries political significance due to its history.

- **Pansexual** denotes attraction regardless of gender, though some pansexual people may consider gender in their attraction.

- **Omnisexual** refers to attraction to all genders, where gender plays a role in attraction.

- **Abrosexual** describes fluid and changing sexual attraction.

- **Skoliosexual** refers to attraction to trans and nonbinary people.

- **Fluid** describes changes in sexual attraction over time or in different contexts.

People may use multiple labels or just one depending on the situation. It’s fine to use different labels for different contexts or to choose one label exclusively.

**Romantic Orientations**

For asexual individuals who experience little to no sexual attraction, romantic orientations are important. Terms like biromantic or panromantic describe romantic attraction. Others use these terms to clarify their romantic experiences, whether or not they are asexual.

**The Role of Labels**

Labels can be empowering for many LGBTQ people, offering a sense of identity and connection. They can help people find community and provide valuable data for research. However, labels can also feel limiting to some. It’s okay to explore, adopt, or avoid labels based on what feels right for you. You are never required to label your identity or disclose it if it could jeopardize your safety.

**Supporting Bisexual Youth**

Bisexual youth face significant challenges, often more so than their gay or lesbian peers. Statistics reveal that nearly half of bisexual youth have seriously considered suicide in the past year. They also report higher levels of sadness, hopelessness, bullying, and sexual violence compared to their heterosexual and gay/lesbian counterparts. These statistics highlight the urgent need for increased support and understanding for bisexual youth. Addressing these challenges and creating a safer environment for bisexual individuals is crucial.

FAQ

Question:
1. I finally came out to my parents/friends, but everyone has been telling me that being bisexual isn’t real, that I will grow out of it, or that it’s just a phase. But it’s not a phase. This is who I am! How can I help them understand?

Answer:Coming out to your family and friends is a really brave step! That isn’t easy, and it can be even more difficult when it seems like you weren’t heard or accepted. Bisexuality is a real identity, and you’re never too young to know how you feel. If you know that you’re bisexual, then no one can tell you otherwise!Unfortunately, you can’t control how everyone reacts to your news. It’s possible that even if your family and friends heard you, they might not be ready to understand what you’re saying.

Question:
2. My mom says bisexuals are more promiscuous and have more STDs. Is this true?

Answer:
Anyone who does not practice safer sex is at a heightened risk for STIs and STDs, but that applies to all people who are engaging in sexual activities. Liking more than one gender does not mean that you’ll automatically be more sexually active. After all, our sexual orientation does not determine our behavior. It’s a myth that all bisexual people are promiscuous. The reality is that bisexual people could fall anywhere on the sexuality spectrum, from asexual or biromantic (have little to no sexual attraction to others, at all) to very sexual and physical. Also, just because someone is attracted to men and women does not mean they will be unfaithful to their partner, and or be with both men and women at all times. A bisexual person could be monogamous (have only one partner) or be polyamorous (have multiple partners) – just like someone who is straight, gay, lesbian, pan, etc. The combinations are endless, at that is totally ok!

Question:
3. Isn’t everyone a little bisexual?

Answer:
Human sexuality is a really complicated, personal topic. There are so many different ways to identify, and the only person who can tell us how we feel is ourselves. When we suggest that everyone is at least a little bit attracted to more than one gender, we’re taking away people’s freedom to express who they truly like. Also, most bisexual people have put a great deal of thought into understanding their sexual orientation and it’s not fair to minimize their experience by saying that “everyone” is probably bi. Instead, we want to empower all people to identify in the way that fits them the best.

Question:
4. Do you have to be equally attracted to men and women to be bisexual?

Answer:
A person who is bisexual does not have to be equally attracted to more than one gender identity. In fact, most bisexuals don’t experience attraction in a 50/50 split. It is very common for bisexual people to prefer one gender over another, and some say that this preference changes over time. Some bisexual people feel romantic feelings towards one gender but physical attraction towards other. Only you can identify what you’re feeling. It’s important to remember, though, that there is no rush. Take as much time as you need to determine what makes the most sense for you.

Question:
5. Do I need to come out as bisexual if I don’t have a partner of the same gender?

Answer:
It is perfectly normal to feel unsure or worried about coming out. The question of whether or not you should come out is one that only you yourself can answer. Coming out has lots of positives; it can let people in your life know about an important part of you, it can help you to feel less alone, meet new friends as well as possibly meet people to date.

There are some questions that you could ask yourself when deciding whether to come out. If you do decide to come out, who would be the first person you would come out to? What would be the best case scenario for coming out? What would be the worst? Is there a possibility that things may go wrong if you come out and, if there is a chance, do you have a back-up plan? If there is a chance that coming out may put you at any sort of risk or endanger your ability to continue living at home, you may want to wait to come out until you are more independent.

Remember, it is your choice to come out and you do not have to come out to everybody in your life at once. You can choose who you want to come out to and when. You can also choose not to come out to certain people in your life. The choice is completely yours. YOU supports you no matter what.

Question:
6. I am really only attracted to men, but there is this one lady that I have a huge crush on. I have always thought of myself as straight, but does this mean I am bisexual?

Answer:
How you identify is completely up to you! If straight feels like the label that fits you best, then no one can tell you otherwise. If you feel like bisexual fits you better these days, then that is completely okay too. Even if neither of these labels fit, or starts to change over time, don’t worry – that is perfectly normal. You can label yourself, or not, in whatever way you see fit!

Question:
7. I have never hooked up with a boy EVER, so how do I know if I am really bisexual?

Answer:
A person doesn’t need to have a physical experience with someone else to understand who they’re attracted to. In fact, sexual orientation describes way more than physical attraction – it includes our romantic, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual attraction to other people, too. Think about the crushes you’ve had, and who you fantasize about being with: girls, boys, both, or maybe other genders or sexes that don’t fit into the binary. Remember bisexual people do not need to have had equal sexual experiences with both men and women. It’s all up to how you feel – and if identifying as bisexual sounds right to you, then go for it!