Who were you before your phone?

Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

I stumbled across this quote by German-American poet Charles Bukowski one day after school, and it made me freeze. In 2020, social media often tells us who we should be rather than who we really are. Do I remember what I was like before I got my first phone? Before social media became a puzzle piece in my everyday life?

Thankfully, I am able to say yes to that question. I remember what my childhood was like before being presented with my first phone. I spent the majority of my time outside: Growing up with four older brothers, outdoor football, cops and robbers and bicycle riding were everyday activities.

It seems so long ago. Have I only had my phone for four years? It’s hard to imagine my life without it because I’ve grown to depend on the technological device. I believe I can vouch for others in my generation when I say that our phones mean more to us than we care to admit, and it isn’t easy to lock it away in a drawer and forget about it.

I hope you can think of a time when the source of your happiness didn’t come from a screen. It saddens me to reflect on my childhood, on how carefree I was because I didn’t know anything about the online world.

This type of childhood may be a relic of the past. Each subsequent generation has received phones at earlier ages. In 2020, it’s common to see twelve year olds strutting around with phones nearly as large as their faces. Is this the new normal? Does anyone find it strange?

Most young people use their phones for social media, which provides a temporary escape and distraction from real life. Addiction follows: your brain shoves your problems away while you scroll aimlessly for hours on your smartphone. It’s normal to crave things that provide superficial pleasure, but it’s hard to know when to stop. Even if you do, the urge to get back on your phone doesn’t go away.

Put it down, and a tidal wave of thoughts crashes in on you: the thoughts you pushed away easily flood your mind. Turn off Tik Tok, and suddenly you’re brimming with tears, reminded of how hard life is.

Does anyone remember how they got through life without their phone? Before it twisted your mind, before it coaxed you under a false blanket of security until you choked with sudden responsibilities and obligations?

Do you remember dressing up in your favorite clothes and not caring what anybody else thought? Do you remember the times when you didn’t know what the latest model posted on Instagram, and you strutted out with your friends in crazy get-ups like you were on your own personal runway?

This is why people love nostalgia. Remembering the times when we were truly carefree and happy is like a taste of sugar, a treat that momentarily eases the mind. These beautiful memories are often kept as cherished reminders of past joy.

But why can’t nostalgia be our reality?

Why can’t we put down the phone? Why are we so addicted to little rectangular devices? Why do we let them control our lives?

I would like to give you a concrete answer, but I’m not sure I can. People want to blame our phone dependency on society, but we are society. We are the people driving this world, and we are the ones putting fuel on the fire.

It might be because we live in a world where, unfortunately, using technology for everyday tasks is normal. It would be unusual to show up at your workplace or school without the proper technology, and it would automatically put you far behind your peers.

Comfort is another possible answer. People find an underlying comfort in social media, despite their unavoidable insecurities and self-doubt. Finding other people who share ideas with you, or experience the same issues as you, is an uplifting feeling. Many people seek the knowledge that they are not alone, and when they find it in social media, it is hard to give up.

Speaking directly to my generation: It seems almost impossible to give up your phones, right? Think about it. Could you go one week without a peek at your phone? The thought of voluntarily giving your phone to your parents or legal guardians seems almost laughable—and I’m sure they would laugh in disbelief too.

Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

Do you remember having opinions of your own that weren’t influenced in some way by social media? Do you remember going outside and actually playing with friends or family instead of cooping yourself up in your room to spend hours on your phone?

The purpose of this article isn’t to attack anyone for their use of technology or to beg you to put yours down—that would be truly hypocritical of me. However, I hope you can take a look at yourself. Remember what life was like before you possessed the power of technology. Imagine what it would be like to spend a day with your friends without all of you staring at your phones to pass time.

Maybe you’ll learn how to live out that nostalgia in a new way, and for just a moment put the phone away and forget it in your back pocket.