May 1, 2025 

My life is an endless puzzle. Every time I snap a piece into place, it feels like another one pops up. All of a sudden the puzzle has restarted. I spend most of my time sitting in my room thinking about the same questions every day: Do I have anything to do today? Do I even like my hobbies? I want this really badly, but do I really want it?

Growing up, I always believed academic subjects like science or math were the most confusing things on Earth. Now, I feel like nothing can get more confusing than life itself. I’m told to do one thing, but then it’s too much, but when I stop doing it, I’m not doing enough. I’m told to be nice to those around me, but being too nice invites people to take advantage of you. I can’t just be mean—I mean, I can—but then I’m the bad guy. It confuses me just as it probably confuses you. 

Insecurity strikes most people in this puzzle. People say “Oh my gosh, you’re so beautiful!” and it makes me smile, but thinking too much about it, I start to overanalyze: Did they really think I was pretty? How do I look right now? It becomes too much, and then I overthink things that have absolutely nothing to do with the original topic. 

Insecurity isn’t just about appearance—it’s about talent, too. I’ve dealt with imposter syndrome for most of my life when it came to my talents, especially writing. In my last opinion piece, I wrote something off the top of my head, only thinking of my grade. Yet when I want to write something deeper and more meaningful about myself, I feel lost. The overthinking starts again: What should I even write? I’m such a boring person.

But then the puzzle just turns into a loop of pieces. I wake up, I have a classic bad day, and then the day ends. Repeat. I’m distant at home but the funny friend in public. How do I really feel?  I still don’t know the answer. Emotions change rapidly; I can never keep up. I feel angry, but nobody is actually angry. What am I angry about? Is it irritation or disgust? Am I angry or sad? Why do I randomly get sad? 

So many questions, no easy answers. It’s easy to tell someone, “Hey! It’ll get better!” Is this just reassurance? Is anything actually going to get better, even if I try? Math and Science have nothing on this challenge. 

I don’t think much about my future, but my senior year is closer than the last time I checked the date. I told myself, “Don’t worry, you have two years to think about it.” Now it’s down to one.  I’m losing time. 

I have no idea what you may get out of this. I’m confused about what I’ll get from this. Does any of it sound like your life? I guess the lesson could be: Figuring yourself out is difficult, and so is figuring your life out. If things are bad, they may not get better. But that doesn’t mean you should make your whole life about pitying yourself and worrying about unimportant things. Time runs out. If you’re thinking about something, do it. Take action. Make the effort to find yourself and figure out what you want before too much time passes. The puzzle collapses: time to put it back together.