February 12, 2025 

Dear LJ: I said something about someone to one of their friends and this person took it the wrong way. It’s been months now and this person still feels this way. Should I just face the music and accept I’ll never speak to this person again, or try to make things right? 

-Damage Control Debbie 

Dear Damage Control: Deciding whether to accept that you might not talk to this person again or try to make things right after a hurtful comment can be tough. I’ve said some things I regret and have also struggled to see that just because my words wouldn’t hurt my feelings does not mean they wouldn’t hurt someone else. 

If I were in this position I would go to the individual and ask to hear their side of the situation. Some people take things harder than others. If your words caused a lot of hurt, saying “I’m sorry” might be necessary. Make your intent behind the comment very clear. If for some reason you think you may have spoken with bad intentions, even subconsciously, it’s important to own up to that. Be calm and make sure you don’t invalidate their feelings. I honestly suck at staying calm and tend to get a little loud but this is the wrong response. 

Ultimately, it’s about taking responsibility and trying to fix things if you are in the wrong. Remember sometimes things happen for a reason and if the friendship was meant to end, it was meant to end.

Sincerely, Jordyn 

Dear LJ: I’m having trouble balancing schoolwork and my hobbies. I love spending time on my interests, but my grades are slipping. How can I manage my time better?

- Balancing Bartholomew 

Dear Balancing: I can relate.My biggest piece of advice is to do as much homework at school as you can. Don’t let it distract you from your classes though. While chatting during learning lab might be fun, it would be more beneficial to get help on subjects you’re struggling with or to just do your homework. 

Another piece of advice is that if you really want to pursue your hobbies after school but have a few homework assignments to complete, try to knock out one or two assignments, then switch to your hobbies. Later, after a little bit of fun, go back and finish the rest of your homework. Set a timer. 

Also, if you do run behind on homework or have a big project, it would be best to give up a night of doing hobbies because missing assignments can pile up (I tend to dig myself into a hole when I let my homework pile up). Then you can spend more time over the weekend on your interests than doing missing work or getting in trouble. 

Sincerely, Lily 

Dear LJ: What is the best way to convince a friend who is going down a bad path?

-Good-hearted Guide

Dear Good-hearted: Have an honest and open conversation with them. It is important to express your concerns and explain why you believe their current path is harmful. Listen to their perspective and try to understand their reasoning for choosing to do these things. Offer support and encouragement, and let them know that you are there for them.  Avoid judgment or criticism, as this will only make them defensive. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of their life and help them to see the potential for a better future. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to change their path is up to them, but you can provide them with the support and guidance they need to make a positive choice. I have had some friends who have made some bad decisions that I didn’t agree with. Understand that who you surround yourself with is a reflection of you. If you feel like this friend might bring you down with them, it’s okay to distance yourself.

Sincerely, Jordyn

Dear LJ: I am having trouble with my teammates. I am a great prospect on the team and an easy person to get along with but I can tell my team is very split throughout with different friend groups. How can I change that? 

- Troubled Teammate

Dear Troubled: First, you could try doing whole team activities that are fun and will make people intermix. Do not make them “team-building friendship-building activities” because when school offers activities like that it can turn people off or people do not take it seriously. Just do a fun activity that -happens- to be with your teammates.

Another thing you could do is invite one person from each of the groups who seem like they could have chemistry to do something that will bond them. Once people from different groups start intermixing it could lead others to mix together as well.  

You could also bring this problem up to other people on the team (or the entire team) and discuss the problem and potential solutions as a group. 

Keep in mind that even if you try really hard to mix these groups together it might not work. Also, remember that something like this could take time. Try not to rush things or else it could backfire on you.

Sincerely, Lily