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On your left you will see the elusive Big-Foot. Years ago, a student thought he saw a resemblance between Sasquatch and me. Since then I have spent all my waking hours growing my hair out to match his and attempting to find my "cousin" who seems to hide deep in the woods, refusing contact with his family.

If you believe this, then you might have a tough time in my class because sarcasm, although it is a very low form of humor, is what makes my classroom go. I actually feed off this energy and so do most of the students. If you feel like this is the place for you, then by all means stay in my class; if not, contact your local authorities, your parents, and the president to see if you can transfer. (Just so you know, you can't. [This is when I start laughing like a mad-scientist] So good luck.]) Welcome to Folsom Prison English 11!!!

Just so your parents know, I've been teaching for ten years, married for 18, have two sons, 16 & 14, and a dog named Penny (I'm not sure why your parents would need to know that). Anyway, I am the grade-level leader for English 11 and served on the Curriculum Design Team for the Common Core transition for the past three years. I'm also the adviser for the Improv Comedy Team, the unBEARables, and run a group for stressed out students through the CSI program where they are able to get things off their chest. I'm kind of a big deal.

I think you might have some fun this year. Oh yeah, and learn some stuff too so you is a good writer 'n' stuff.