Let’s start out saying that singleness is hard and being single in the church can sometimes be even harder. It can feel isolating, very lonely, embarrassing, or shameful. Whether you have always been single, are newly single, or are called to live a life of singleness. Here are a couple of points and resources that can hopefully give you some things to think about and help you look at singleness in a positive light.
Singleness could be one of the most countercultural and powerful ways to make the sufficiency of Christ known to others. It’s hard not to assume that marriage would make life easier. While it can bring joy and help in areas, it multiplies our distractions because we are responsible for another person. Use this time to work on giving God more of yourself and let him be enough.
Know that you have purpose, you are whole, and you are enough. You reflect God’s glory and you are created in his image - you lack nothing. Being single does not mean that you don’t trust God enough or that you don’t love yourself enough. God made you for more than marriage, business, or whatever else we might choose for ourselves. You have time on your side right now. If God leads you to be married someday (or be married again), you may never know a time like the one that you are in right now. This time has the potential to be unique and special! It has the potential to be a special time for you and Christ together.
You need the church and the church needs you. Joining a church is one of the most beneficial things you can do in your time of singleness. No, not to join a singles group, but to be with a body of believers who care about you and your spiritual journey. Get involved and serve. You may not have a family of your own, but that doesn’t mean you can’t serve in kids or youth and make a difference in their lives and show them the love of Christ. Having a community is so important in singleness and you have so much to offer!
As someone who is single, you can be friends with married people! Learn about their families, about their marriages, ask questions. Find a couple or a family that you admire and don’t be afraid to hang out with them! Ask if you can be an extension of their family. Let them know that you don’t care if you see the mess or the ugliness, you just want to be there for it all. You can even babysit, help with yard work or other normal life things!
Lastly, get serious about your calling. Make Jesus your greatest treasure where you are now. We are called to reach the lost, pray first, and love God and others married or not. God knows what you need and he has compassion for his children. Singleness isn’t a season. It is where you are and you can thrive!
SCRIPTURES
Colossians 2:10 - "and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority."
Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Isaiah 41:10 - "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
Ephesians 3:20 - "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"
Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Psalm 34:18 - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."