We recognize that more couples are choosing to live together either before marriage or even as a long term alternative to marriage. We also recognize that the reasons vary – including fear of marriage based upon the pain of divorce in their own family experience, the desire to test compatibility before making a life-long commitment, the economic value of more cost-efficient living arrangements, and of course the natural desire to start enjoying live-in companionship and sexual intimacy.
With such a diversity of underlying circumstances and reasons for living together apart from marriage, we do not carry any negative assumptions about the hearts and motives involved. Our desire is to speak God’s heart and mind into the unique dynamics involved. Our desire is to help you grasp God’s true meaning of marriage…and then help you to step up to it…or step out of ‘playing’ a partial version of it.
If you are not prepared to give yourselves in a life-long covenant of marriage yet, our counsel is to move apart and restore appropriate boundaries. You should honor God’s goodness for each other by thoughtfully ending the bonds of sexual union and making a home together. If you have deemed yourselves to already be ‘married in every way other than legally,’ perhaps having already created children together, and if your relationship is sound, we encourage you to complete your oneness by entering into a marriage covenant before God and your community.
In essence, if you are considering marriage, our desire is to help you grasp God’s true meaning of marriage…and then help you to step up to it…or step out of ‘playing’ a partial version of it.
SCRIPTURES
Genesis 2:24 - "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
Colossians 3:17 - "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Philippians 4:8 - " Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."