Exploring Alternative Relationships: A Historical Examination of Polygamy and Polyamory in the United States 

By Paige Callahan

Polygamy, the act of having multiple spouses, or polyamory, that act of having multiple partners, can be traced back in American history far before the Europeans arrived. This practice has since proved to be an extremely controversial and complex issue, historically aligned with social, economic, and political power (1). Although some groups have argued polygamy and polyamory can be empowering, this opinion remains highly unpopular. The history will begin with the 17th century Native American polygamists and lead up to the present day, with a heavy emphasis on different Mormon subgroups. Although there is a long continuity in gender, oppressive, and political polygamy in the United States with Indigenous groups, Mormons, and other religious groups that does continue today (mainly in fringe religious groups), modern polyamory represents a radical departure from this expression of polyamory.

Polyamory was a ubiquitous practice for Americans in the 17th century. Much of what is known about polyamory during this time is from very informal sources, as record-keeping was not prevalent during this period. The two main polyamorist groups in early America were the Native Americans and the West African peoples. Varying cultural and religious groups had vastly different opinions of polyamory such as the Protestants who endorsed the practice, and the Christians who found the practice unacceptable (2). 

For some Native American groups, polygamy was indicative of political and economic power. Polygyny, marriage to more than one wife, was typical of elite men and those of higher status within the communities and has historically been the most common form of polyamory in the United States. When food was scarce, the women in these polygynist groups would often give up their rations for the greater good of their tribe, inferring that the men were the ones to receive the proper nutrition. Evidence of dental decay in skeletal remains indicates that the women were more likely to suffer from malnutrition (3). 

Before the Europeans arrived in the Americas, polygyny and power were closely aligned in Native American culture. It is believed that polygyny as a relationship practice may have been a precursor to King Philip’s War, fought between the Native Americans and the European settlers (4). The practice was a point of contention between the settlers as they believed polygyny to be a disruption to the intimacy of the household. 

The West African peoples are another group that practiced plural marriage and it can be traced back to nearly all travel accounts from the 17th century. It was common for men to have as many wives as they were able to feed. The more wives a man had, the more children he could bear, and the larger the ‘workforce’ he would obtain. When the people of West Africa were forced to America during the slave trade, these rituals and practices of polygyny carried over. Oftentimes, plantation masters would reward men with more than one wife, as they were impressed by their ability to “feed and maintain” more than one woman. Other times, polygamy was less clear for these groups. For example, it wasn’t uncommon for women to have husbands on multiple plantations. When women were sold away from their husbands onto another plantation, oftentimes they would marry, blurring the lines of polyamory (5).

Christian groups in the 17th century looked down heavily upon polygamist groups. One of the central beliefs of the Catholic Church is the seven sacraments, (monogamous) marriage being one of them. Plural marriage, therefore, was considered a religious issue and sinful. Another major Christian group in the Americas at the time was the Protestants. Unlike the Catholic Church, Protestants believe in only two sacraments. With marriage not among the two, they, therefore, believed it was a state-level issue. In fact, some Protestants were accepting of polygamist practices because there was still a marriage union, and the participants were not performing adultery. 

Polyamory during the 17th century was a highly inegalitarian system, which promoted economic, social, and political power for the elite who practiced it. Gender and rank are the two biggest markers of the social inequality that polyamory results in. Polyamory requires many resources to practice; therefore, it limits the number of people who can participate. When men begin to acquire more wives, they collect the bride's wealth. The more brides the man has, the more wealth economically, but also, he will have more children as a result who can provide more labor. 

By the early 19th century, polygamy in America would become a primary practice of a newly founded religious group, the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints. The Mormon church was founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith, a self-proclaimed profit (6). Shortly after he wrote The Book of Mormon, which he claimed was a book of scripture and the word of God. By 1935, Joseph claimed to have a revelation about polygamy, which he responded to by taking a second wife (7). The revelation from God commanded Smith and his followers to take multiple wives as a test of faith (8). Throughout his lifetime, Smith would have upwards of thirty wives. Smith was believed to have a divine calling by his followers; therefore, they were extraordinarily obedient to anything he preached. 

Americans living outside the Mormon faith were concerned about the women in these polygamous relationships. The following political cartoon (Figure 1) shows how Americans perceived these relationships during the 19th. century (9):

During the mid-19th century, polygamist Mormons spoke reverently about their experience with plural marriage. The wives of one man described their experience positively, being “sisters in family and in faith” (10). Although the women in these relationships describe their experiences in a positive light, they do not deny feelings of jealousy. One woman described their experience as “[we] sometimes indulge in playful rivalries as to who will get the first kiss, or who can pull him or coax him away from the others; but as a rule, they always give precedence to the first wife” (11).The women in these relationships viewed the interactions as a playful rivalry and admitted that in general, the women were courteous to one another. One point of contention mentioned was with the first wife, as oftentimes she felt slighted by her husband for taking more wives. It was a courtesy to give the first wife the first opportunity at the husband. The women also place heavy emphasis on the fact that they entered the marriage consensually. 

19th century antagonists were not all so convinced that the women were as content with their marriage arrangements as they appeared. In response to these antagonizing arguments, the followers of the Mormon church began to heavily support the women's suffrage movement in pursuit of proving that they themselves were not oppressed (12). In the 1870s, Mormon women claimed to be empowered in the choosing of their husband (13). This however was often not the case. Historian, Laurel Ulrich, referred to 19th century Mormon women as ‘prisoners’ and ‘refugees’ as they were dragged from their homes in states like Missouri and Illinois and forced to marry into these plural marriages (14). Polygamy was not the sole factor, but Ulrich would also argue that “the larger factor is people didn't like communities that banded together and voted alike and cooperated economically” (15). Outsiders feared they would be outvoted by these communities. 

By the late 19th century there was great controversy over the legality and morality of polygamy as a marital practice between current Mormon polygamists, practicing polygamists who left the Mormon faith, and the American people. James E. Talmadge, president of the Mormon college in Salt Lake City, Utah, previously known as the Salt Lake Stake Academy, but renamed to LDS University in 1888, testified in court that polygamy is a constitutional right. At the LDS University, the students were taught that the revelation of Joseph Smith came from God and therefore cannot be interfered with (16). This emphasizes the gendered and political nature of the practice. 

During the 1880s, heavy sentiment against polygamist marriage became the forefront of many legislative proposals. In 1883, the National League was seeking petitions against polygamy in Cleveland, OH (17). Americans wanted polygamy to be declared unconstitutional in the United States. Just seven years later, the President of the LDS Church, Wilford Woodruff, issued a manifesto putting an end to the practice of polygamy in the Mormon Church (18). The ritual was no longer condoned or endorsed by the Mormon church, but the practice lived on. Some practicing polygamists relocated to Mexico ; others stayed in the United States. 

The dawn of the 20th century was a period of ambiguity for polygamists and Mormon Utah (19). With no official doctrines fostering or encouraging plural marriages, some individuals parted with their former practice, while others continued. The people of the Mormon church were trying to figure out how their marital and relationship status fit into this new era. The essence of plural marriage lives on in a spiritual way, through the practice of “sealing” (20). When a man and a woman get married in a temple by a man with authority from God, they are referred to as sealed. When these men and women have children, the children are automatically sealed to their parents. The meaning and intentions behind sealing are to uphold one of the main Mormon beliefs that the family will lead to salvation (21).

By the early 20th century, Mormons were vocal about their opposition to polygamy, and many were hostile toward those who practiced it after the issuance of the Manifesto. One Mormon Bishop, Daniel Connolly had an especially hostile perspective toward these groups and believed “traitors” should be shot. Richard W. Young, a Mormon monogamist, did not agree with the bishop's violent opinion. However, Young also did not condone polygamy and despised those who continued to practice it (22).

Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or the Fundamentalist LDS (FLDS), is another polygamist offset group of the Mormon church evolved during the middle of the 20th century which is condemned by the mainstream LDS church. This religious group was a multimillion-dollar church led by Warren Jeffs with roughly 10,000 followers (23). Most of the polygamist information in the media has been focused on the abuse of women and young children. In the practices of Warren Jeff and his community, many girls would be married off to the same man, leaving a surplus of young boys, who they exploited for unlimited, free labor. Americans strongly believed that the FLDS were the number one source of domestic human traffickers in the United States. People were uprooted from their homes, forced into illegal marriages, and subjected to statutory rape by their husbands (24). The video trailer shown for Netflix docuseries, Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey, (Figure 2) captures the fear experienced by members of the FLDS when they were children and the efforts made by those who worked to put Warren Jeffs behind bars (25). 

(Figure 2) Netflix trailer for the docuseries, Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey.

In 1966, Dr. Victor Kassel, a Jewish man from Utah, published a study urging those over 60 years old to practice polygamy; he himself was a monogamist. His argument was that plural marriage should be legal for individuals 60 and older on the grounds that widows and widowers are being denied proper diet and nutrition, as well as experiencing a state of sexual frustration. Kassel believed that without a spousal relationship, women would no longer prepare well-balanced meals. If the woman had spouses to take care of, Kassel claimed it would incentivize her to cook. 

Dr. Kassel believed the plural arrangement would mutually benefit each partner within the marriage agreement. For the postmenopausal woman, he believed the arrangement would satisfy her increase in libido and diminished fear of getting pregnant. He believed the marriage arrangement would provide her with the means to express these desires rather than them “overcoming her”. For the men, Dr. Kassel believed that with more variety, “greater interest is sparked, and many men can come back to life sexually”. For these reasons, Kassel advocated for the legalization of polygamy for those over 60 years old in the United States (26). However, this is a highly inegalitarian system that will most likely continue to be gender inequitable, with an emphasis on male social and political power.  

A surge in non-religious polyamorist groups started to arise in the middle of the 20th century, characterized as the “free love” era. Amongst these groups was the infamous Manson family. Charles Manson, leader of the polygamist group known as the Manson Family had full control over his followers. Members of the family were highly regulated; to the extent that Charlie was to decide who participated in intercourse with who and when (27). The family was known to participate in group sex, which was entirely orchestrated by Manson. He would ‘place’ the family members into the positions he felt desirable, and everyone submitted to his wants. The media portrayed the family’s polygamist activities as power control tactics by Manson, associated with promiscuity and rebellion. After a sweep of murders in the Los Angeles area, the polyamorist group would be associated with violence and rage. 

Other polyamorist groups started to emerge during the 20th century, some affiliated with the Mormon church while others were not. During this time, many Americans associated these groups with violence, often orchestrated by cult-like leaders. An ex-member of “a radical offshoot of the modern-day Mormon church” relays her experience growing up in a polygamist cult, with her father being the mastermind behind the entire operation. In the 1970s and 1980s, those that followed polygamist leader Ervil LeBaron, also known as the “Mormon Charles Manson” lived in constant fear of being caught by government groups due to the violence against those that rejected his preaching (28). LeBaron had thirteen wives and twenty-five to fifty children, none of whom he could support economically. The wives alone could not make ends meet and the children were forced to work to survive. Ervil had an estimated 100 followers (29). He himself and some of his loyal followers were charged with a series of deadly crimes.

By the late 1970s, Americans were, in general, leaving those who practiced polyamory alone; despite the practice being against the law. The practice was expanding in the western United States and faced little opposition from outsiders. At the time it was estimated that there were 20,000-30,000 polygamists in the United States. Most polygamist groups in the United States were scattered around Colorado and Utah. In 1977, the New York Times issued an article on the Kingston group, a Mormon polygamist group led by Merlin Kingston, exposing the incestual nature of their community. The Times describes the family as “entangled”, and associated them with bondage, roughness, and full captivity within their relationships. Adversely, the group was also described by the media as being “extraordinarily strait-laced” and emphasized their value on hard work. Unlike other polyamorist groups in the 20th century, the Kingston group was not associated with drugs, alcohol, or premarital sex. The type of person who found themselves a member of the Kingston group typically was in search of a sense of community or family with constructed laws governing them. Americans and other ex-members view this as a dictatorship. This emphasizes the strong departure from polyamory as a symbol of status and power to a more genuine way to have a family (30). 

Polygamy and polyamory are still prevalent practice in the 21st century. Legislation has been popping up around the United States lessening the punishment for plural marriages and in some states, giving the practice more protected rights. Until 2020, polygamy was a felony in the state of Utah and was punishable by up to five years in prison. The state has since passed the Bigamy Bill which decriminalized the practice. The passing of this bill was highly unpopular, as many felt it was a regression towards fighting FLDS underage marriage and human trafficking.  More Americans, mostly liberal, have shifted their attitudes and perception toward Polygamy. In the past, plural marriages were frowned upon but are now more widely accepted as another form of sexual expression and means of defining a family. Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist, and New York Times bestselling author described this new acceptance of polygamy as follows: “Many social norms don’t fit human nature. For most of history, monogamy was one person for life. At this point, monogamy is one person at a time.” Perel summarizes the practice here from an anthropological perspective, shedding light on the evolution of social norms (31/32).

The current practice is now more viewed to have a family and less emphasis on the sexual aspect of the relationship. It is attributed to sexual liberty and the right to choose who your partner(s) are. This was a great departure from the 17th and 19th century notions that polyamory was a symbol of status and survival or for religious reason. However, the practice of polyamory remains a highly political and social controversy. 

While some Americans are accepting of this family style, others have strong opposing views. Tom Green was publicly known in the United States for his family's polygamist practices. In 2000, Tom Green was charged with four counts of bigamy and one count of criminal nonsupport in the state of Utah, the first trial on bigamy since the 1950s. Green argued that his polygamist practice was mandated by God. The prosecution was determined to draw a line between ‘religious freedom’ and abuse. In Green’s case, the main concern was over child abuse, as five of his ten wives were between the ages of thirteen and sixteen years old. Prosecutor, Mike Leavitt, argues that he [Tom Green] “deprived them of any education, married them, impregnated them, required the state to pay the bill and has raped a 13-year-old girl.” Green was convicted on all five counts (33). While some may have seen this practice as another way of having a family, these groups were often characterized by a male-dominated power dynamic that boarded on abuse and statutory rape. 

According to a 2020 study, one in five U.S. adults find the practice of polygamy to be morally acceptable, as opposed to just 7% in 2003 (34). Although the practice may be viewed as a radical departure from historical representations of polygamy, it is still often associated with patriarchial and oppressive power structures. 

Throughout American history, polygamy has often been associated with violence and crime. These polygamist groups have historically been patriarchal institutions with a self-proclaimed prophet as the leader. Most Americans have qualms with this practice due to it commonly being associated with underage marriage, incest, and gender inequality. The history of polygamy and polyamory are important to understand different social and religious groups in America and how their marital (or relationship) practices contribute to legal and ethical issues. 

Endnotes

(1) Covart, Liz. “Episode 278: Sarah Pearsall, Polygamy: An Early American History - Ben Franklin's World.” Ben Franklin's World - A Podcast About Early American History, July 6, 2020. https://benfranklinsworld.com/episode-278-sarah-pearsall-polygamy-an-early-american-history/.

(2) Covart, Liz. “Episode 278: Sarah Pearsall, Polygamy: An Early American History - Ben Franklin's World.” Ben Franklin's World - A Podcast About Early American History, July 6, 2020. https://benfranklinsworld.com/episode-278-sarah-pearsall-polygamy-an-early-american-history/.

(3) Ibid. 

(4) “King Philip's War.” Bill of Rights Institute. Accessed April 2, 2023. https://billofrightsinstitute.org/essays/king-philips-war. 

(5) Covart, Liz. “Episode 278: Sarah Pearsall, Polygamy: An Early American History - Ben Franklin's World.” Ben Franklin's World - A Podcast About Early American History, July 6, 2020. https://benfranklinsworld.com/episode-278-sarah-pearsall-polygamy-an-early-american-history/.

(6) “Timeline: The Early History of the Mormons | American Experience.” n.d. PBS. Accessed May 3, 2023. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/mormons-timeline/.

(7) Solomon, Andrew. “How Polyamorists and Polygamists Are Challenging Family Norms.” The New Yorker, March 15, 2021. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/03/22/how-polyamorists-and-polygamists-are-challenging-family-norms. 

(8) Smith's, Joseph. n.d. “Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Accessed May 3, 2023. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng.

(9) “Examining the Struggle for Suffrage & Utah Statehood Through Political Cartoons.” Better Days Curriculum, October 24, 2019. https://www.utahwomenshistory.org/lessons/utah-suffrage-polygamy-the-struggle-for-statehood/.

(10) "POLYGAMY.: INTERVIEW OF A PARTY OF NEW YORK LADIES WITH MRS. BRIGHAM YOUNG, JR.--A WOMAN'S DEFENCE OF POLYGAMY AND ITS PECULIAR INSTITUTIONS." 1867.Chicago Tribune (1860-1872), Jul 26, 1. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fpolygamy%2Fdocview%2F175635905%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(11) "POLYGAMY.: INTERVIEW OF A PARTY OF NEW YORK LADIES WITH MRS. BRIGHAM YOUNG, JR.--A WOMAN'S DEFENCE OF POLYGAMY AND ITS PECULIAR INSTITUTIONS." 1867.Chicago Tribune (1860-1872), Jul 26, 1. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fpolygamy%2Fdocview%2F175635905%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(12) Ulrich, Laurel T. 2017. “How Mormon Polygamy In The 19th Century Fueled Women's Activism.” NPR. https://www.npr.org/2017/01/17/510246850/how-mormon-polygamy-in-the-19th-century-fueled-womens-activism.

(13) “How Mormon Polygamy in the 19th Century Fueled Women's Activism.” NPR. NPR, January 17, 2017. https://www.npr.org/2017/01/17/510246850/how-mormon-polygamy-in-the-19th-century-fueled-womens-activism. 

(14) Ulrich, Laurel T. 2017. “How Mormon Polygamy In The 19th Century Fueled Women's Activism.” NPR. https://www.npr.org/2017/01/17/510246850/how-mormon-polygamy-in-the-19th-century-fueled-womens-activism.

(15) Ibid.

(16) Means, Sean P. 2020. “LDS Business College will become Ensign College, offer some four-year degrees.” The Salt Lake Tribune. https://www.sltrib.com/news/education/2020/02/25/lds-business-college-will/.

(17) "ANTI-POLYGAMY: THE NATIONAL LEAGUE ASKING FOR PETITIONS AGAINST POLYGAMY." 1883.Los Angeles Times (1881-1886), Nov 15, 1. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fanti-polygamy%2Fdocview%2F161316086%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(18) “Manifesto.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, January 1, 2019. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/topics/manifesto?lang=eng. 

(19) Driggs, Ken. “Twentieth-Century Polygamy and Fundamentalist Mormons in Southern Utah.” Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 24, no. 4 (1991): 44–58. http://www.jstor.org/stable/45227865.

(20) “A Marriage Sealing is the Joining Together of Families for Eternity.” n.d. Church Newsroom. Accessed May 3, 2023. https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/sealing.

(21) Ibid.

(22) "MORMON BISHOP SAYSKILL: WITNESSES WHO TELL SECRETS SHOULD BE SHOT. MORMONS HOSTILE TO POLYGAMY. MANIFESTO NOT AGAINST POLYGAMY." 1905.Chicago Daily Tribune (1872-1922), Jan 18, 4. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fmormon-bishop-sayskill%2Fdocview%2F173252520%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(23) “FLDS Fast Facts.” 2013. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2013/10/31/us/fundamentalist-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints-fast-facts/index.html.

(24) Dretzin, Rachel, dir. Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey. Ark Media, 2022. 

(25) “Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey | Official Trailer | Netflix.” n.d. YouTube. Accessed May 5, 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbhNxmwh_qc&t=107s.

(26) "Polygamy is Urged--for those Over 60: URGES LEGAL POLYGAMY--ONLY AFTER 60." 1966.Chicago Tribune (1963-1996), Apr 16, 1. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fpolygamy-is-urged-those-over-60%2Fdocview%2F178962308%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(27) Bugliosi, Vincent. Helter Skelter : the True Story of the Manson Murders. New York :W.W. Norton, 1994. 

(28) LeBaron, Anna. 2017. “How God Rescued Me from the ‘Mormon Charles Manson.’” Christianity Today. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/april/how-god-rescued-me-from-mormon-charles-manson.html.

(29) By MOLLY IVINS Special to The New York Times. 1977. "Mormons Fear Leader of Polygamous Sect Will Revive Hostility Against their Church." New York Times (1923-), Oct 05, 24. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fmormons-fear-leader-polygamous-sect-will-revive%2Fdocview%2F123408019%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(30) By MOLLY IVINS Special to The New,York Times. 1977. "Polygamy, Growing in U.S. West, is Encountering Little Opposition: Practice Growing by Sects and Giant Families Polygamy Grows in the West Old Testament Roots Strict Practices Woman's Prerogative." New York Times (1923-), Oct 09, 1. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fpolygamy-growing-u-s-west-is-encountering-little%2Fdocview%2F123360206%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(31) Solomon, Andrew. 2021. “How Polyamorists and Polygamists Are Challenging Family Norms.” The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/03/22/how-polyamorists-and-polygamists-are-challenging-family-norms.

(32) n.d. Esther Perel - Your Guide to Relational Intelligence. Accessed May 3, 2023. https://www.estherperel.com/.

(33) Arrillaga, Pauline. 2000. "Putting Polygamy on Trial in Utah: Crusade Against Practice Stirs Debate on Child Abuse and Religious Freedom." The Washington Post (1974-), Dec 08, 2. https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fhistorical-newspapers%2Fputting-polygamy-on-trial-utah%2Fdocview%2F1831575224%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676.

(34) Kramer, Stephanie. “Polygamy Is Rare around the World and Mostly Confined to a Few Regions.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, December 8, 2020. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/12/07/polygamy-is-rare-around-the-world-and-mostly-confined-to-a-few-regions/.