OLIVIA BLACKMER

Virgin Territory: Navigating the Waters of Cultural Biases through Women’s Magazines

Olivia Blackmer, 2023

I began collecting women’s magazines long before I was old enough to understand what they contained. At twelve years old, I would root around in the back of my local used bookstore, searching for old Cosmos, or half-decayed Vogues. At that age, I was just there for the hair and fashion, but as puberty hit, I started scanning for one particular word - “sex”. Between the musty pages, I was privy to decades of womanhood, and I kept turning to them as I developed, trying to understand myself, my feelings, and my culture.

In the late 1700s, some of the first documented women’s magazines had a similar format to those we see on shelves today. Before the industrial revolution, they contained mostly fictional pieces, advice columns, and fashion illustrations to help their readers stay informed, educated, and stylish.1 McHugh states, “There is a through line stretching all the way back to the 19th century in the structure and content of these publications. Even in their earliest incarnations, women’s periodicals in the US were a place to self-educate, to make the long and onerous work of domestic life a little easier, and to connect with other women who wanted to test out their own new ideas”.2 One topic that was constantly on the forefront of many women’s minds was exactly what drew me in generations later - what’s the deal with sex? How do we do it, why do we have to, what are the risks, etc, etc. There was seemingly no question too torrid to be examined by a “professional”, who would provide a wide range of advice depending on their personal belief systems. What interested me most was the topic of virginity, a complex social construct that has held much weight in American coming-of-age. In this paper, I am going to explore the topic of virginity as discussed in women’s magazines from the late 1960s to the early 2020s. I will be examining magazine entries that vary in format from letters to the editor to lists of advice, and personal stories. Using a combination of primary sources, as well as prominent scholarship on the issue, I hope to observe the similarities and differences in how women interact with virginity in women-only spaces. The spaces these magazines create foster a unique expression for female sexual agency, and are critically important to understanding societal dissent during their times.

Excerpts from Cosmopolitan’s “Looking Into People” section, 1964

Scheinfeld, Amram. "Married Virgins." Cosmopolitan, 12, 1964, 22,

Women's magazines in the 1960s were representative of both the wide range of views regarding American virginity at the time, and the ways in which citizens rebelled against the status quo. As America transitioned out of the 1950s, women were grappling with their identities. The ideal woman remained the perfectly pure housewife and mother, however young liberal Americans began to lose their virginities earlier into their 20s, with partners they didn’t necessarily expect to marry. This became more accepted later into the 60s with the sexual liberation movement, however America remained divided along the lines of sex before vs after marriage for most of the decade. The majority of traditionalists were fueled by Christian beliefs that sex before marriage was a sin, leading to extreme judgment of those who engaged in it, primarily focused on women. According to sex psychologist Ira Reiss, “The degree of acceptable premarital sexual permissiveness in a courtship group varies directly with the degree of autonomy of the courtship group and with the degree of acceptable premarital permissiveness in the social and cultural setting outside the group”.3

This wide degree of variation can be seen in one section of a 1969 edition of the magazine Chatelaine, titled The Last Word is Yours, where readers were encouraged to write to the editor their responses on the previous issue’s articles. The article in question was titled Virgin Brides, and discussed whether or not saving oneself for marriage led to a happier life. Several women appeared to agree with the article’s conclusion that yes, virginity is best. “Accepting the socially approved pattern for premarital sexual relations isn’t doing a young girl any harm”,4 wrote Mrs. Joane Saune, though her use of the term “young girl” implies that she is not of that category, and “isn’t doing.. any harm” is hardly a ringing endorsement. Mrs. Elizabeth White appears to have a stronger opinion, as she wrote “The article comes as a breath of fresh, invigorating air to vindicate the case for chastity. I enjoyed it immensely”. Joan C. Johnson (note the lack of a Mrs. or Ms. before her name), presented a strong dissenting opinion, claiming “I resent a magazine like Chatelaine printing dishonest and stupid articles like that by Dr. David Shope”. Despite the controversy, the magazine chose to allow both complementary, negative, and neutral opinions on their piece, creating a strong dialogue between them and their readers, and establishing a safe space for discussion.

In 1964, Cosmopolitan magazine released a short piece titled “Married Virgins”,5 in which Dr. John Blazer, a mental health specialist, detailed the results of his study on the plethora of reasons why married women would choose not to have sex. The reasons have been outlined below.

Fear of pain in the initial sex act - 20%”

“Aversion to intercourse as ‘nasty’ or ‘wicked’” - 18%

“Aversion to the male organ” -5%

impotence of the husband - 12%

“Fear of pregnancy or child-bearing”, “ 10%

Physical hindrance to intercourse -8%

Ignorance of methods to intercourse - 5%

Preference to a female partner -5%

General dislike of men - 3%

The belief that a woman’s role in sex implies inferiority - 3%

Dislike of contraceptives - 3%

The very existence of this study is an act of dissent. By attempting to understand women’s complicated relationship to sex, he worked to undermine the dominant cultural narrative that would paint her as a “prude”, or immoral for neglecting her husband's needs. The article concludes, “Dr. Blazer believes the one thing women have in common is ignorance. None of the reasons would be enough to prevent or distort the sexual relationship of a woman and her husband if she had adequate scientific knowledge of sex: and if proper sex instruction were obtained from a qualified professional person, the virgin wives usually could be helped to overcome their blocks to have a normal sex life”.6 Blazer was not afraid to criticize the status quo in several ways. First he claimed that the fact that these women were not exposed to “adequate scientific knowledge of sex” was hurting them and their relationships with their husband, and advocates for “a qualified professional” to provide them with that education. He placed no judgment on the women he studied other than claiming that they were “ignorant”, and that this is not their fault. Finally, he refers to “the sexual relationship of a woman and her husband”, a statement that places equal desire and responsibility on both parties in the marriage. His emphasis on the scientific method, as well as his push for education also served to counter one of the most prominent arguments against women’s magazines - that they were frivolous and served no purpose. By including this article in their issue, Cosmopolitan was promoting voices of dissent, and exposing women across the country not only to a critical viewpoint, but also to a potential community of other women who felt discomforted by sex in their marriage.

Excerpts from Cosmopolitan’s “Looking Into People” section, 1964

Scheinfeld, Amram. "Married Virgins." Cosmopolitan, 12, 1964, 22

As we move into the 90s and early aughts, the discussions present in women’s magazines began to shift towards more direct questions regarding sexuality, which worked to both dismantle sexist stereotypes, and continue to provide a supportive community. Following the sexual revolutions of the 70s and 80s, 90s, the virginity conversation suddenly had a lot more voices. The idea of virginity being linked to morality still had not faded completely, though the degree to which this governed women’s choices varied along on racial, economic, religious, and social lines. Historian Laura M. Carpenter describes both that virginity was “widely perceived as one of the most significant turning points in sexual life, and because of the emphasis public health and policy professionals place on first coitus and sexual initiation”, and that it “offers one vantage point from which to explore the ambiguity surrounding sex and the consequences of that ambiguity for personal identity”.7 The rise in pop-culture sexual narratives in television programs such as Dawson’s Creek, How I Met Your Mother, and American Pie created a rise in public consciousness of the diverse range of views on the topic, as well as another layer of stress surrounding the act itself.8

Excerpt from Seventeen magazine, 1996.

McCarthy, Jenna. "Virgin Alert!" Seventeen, 06, 1996, 58, https://www.proquest.com/wma/docview/1870585264/CA51134904A54E7EPQ/26#

Faced with this uncertainty, many young women turned to magazines, which provided them with personalized advice and community. In 1996, Seventeen published an article titled “Virgin Alert!”, wherein a young girl asked whether or not her boyfriend would be able to tell if she was a virgin.

The editor began with a biological breakdown of the facts surrounding virginity, and then offered the following advice: “Human biology aside, the big issue is why you’d want to withhold the truth about your sexual experience (or lack thereof). Telling a guy you’re a virgin when you’re not (so he’ll think you’re ‘pure’), or telling him you’re not when you really are (so he’ll think you’re experienced) can only hurt both of you. Think about it. If this is someone you’re having sex with (or considering having sex with), he should be someone you can at least talk to - without lying.”9 “Married Virgins” also touched on the importance of sexual education, however it was written by a man, and provided little detail in regards to the actual science. This piece, however, is listed under a category titled “Sex and Body”, provides graphic descriptions of the science, and is written by a woman. Beyond that, the editor addressed some of the major cultural beliefs regarding virginity (“purity” vs. “experience”), and suggested that her readers come to their own conclusions with their prospective partners. It is also clear that the audience for women’s magazines had shifted. The print colors were bright, and the author used colloquial language in order to connect with teens (e.g. referring to the sexual partner as a “guy”), and the title of the magazine itself is “Seventeen”. Unfortunately, many Americans cited these factors as a reason why the women’s magazine industry was anti-feminist (my mother included). However, bright colors and teen slang are reasons to disregard the quality of the content inside. This magazine’s willingness to provide sexual education and consultation to younger consumers not only created an invaluable educational space for teens no matter their familial background, it suggests a larger openness towards youth sexuality in general.

Excerpt from Cosmopolitan, 1999

"VIRGIN ON THE VERGE." Cosmopolitan, 09, 1999, - 1 page 100,

Despite what popular movies and television shows presented, virginity was not only a teen problem, and more adult magazines in the 90s continued to discuss the topic critically. In 1999, Cosmopolitan published an article titled “Virgin on the Verge”,10 wherein a “20-year old virgin” admitted concern regarding her new boyfriend’s obsession with her virginity. She asked “How can I tell if he wants me, or just wants ‘the prize’ of me giving it up to him?”- a sentiment shared by many women of her time, both fictional and not. While the advice provided to her was dubious - the editor seemed to see no red flags in the man’s virginity fetish- the fact that this young woman was able to anonymously share her concerns in a space free of judgment speaks to the importance of women’s magazines as both a community resource, and a tool for both critical dissection of cultural norms.

In the 2020s, the landscape for women’s publications has changed drastically, but their importance has not. Due to the rise of internet culture, the majority of magazines have moved away from physical print and into online spaces, providing another degree of anonymity for their readers (gone are the days when your mother could snatch a cosmopolitan from under your bed and ground you for a week). Understanding of virginity has changed as well, with there now being a significant divide between those who believe virginity is something to be treasured, and those who question its very existence. Planned Parenthood,11 one of the most relevant sexual health and education non-profits, defines virginity as “someone who’s never had sex. But people define “sex” and “losing virginity” in many different ways…it’s really up to you to decide what you believe. Some people don't even care what “virginity” means or think it matters. Stressing about whether you’re a virgin is way less important than how you feel about your sexual experiences. Ask yourself: are you happy with the sexual experiences you've had or decided not to have?”. The 2020s conversation around sex centers primarily around diversity and consent, as prominent media continues to churn out images of skinny, hairless women either being portrayed as sluts for having too much sex, or prudes who won’t “give it up”.

The content of the women’s magazines has shifted from individualized advice to general sexual education, with a focus on highlighting diverse experiences. Refinery29, a recent women’s publication, published an article in 2023 titled “12 Tips for Your First Time Having Sex”,12 specifying at the beginning of the article, “there’s no one “right” way to have sex for the first time — and “virginity” means different things to different people, anyway. You might see your “first time” as your first time getting naked with a partner, having an orgasm with a partner, having a consensual sexual experience, having queer sex, or something else. You get to decide what "counts.” Note the use of neutral language - “partner” instead of “guy”, as well referring to the audience as “you”, which is both a genderless and a more personal term. In this way, they open up the safe space for anyone who is seeking sexual education or support, even allowing curious men into the previously segregated environment. The article also features several images of couples engaging in intimacy. The pictures include an interracial couple, and a queer couple with a plus-size model caressing in comfortable lingerie. These images help to underline the idea that this article, just like a healthy sex life, is for everyone, and can look quite different from the dominant cultural beliefs - a subtle act of resistance.

Images included in Refinery29’s article; “12 Tips For Your First Time Having Sex.” They showcase diverse bodies and relationships, as well as different types of intimacy.

Smith, Erika W. “12 Tips For Your First Time Having Sex.” Refinery29, 2021. Accessed March 21, 2023. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/virgin-first-time-sex-tips

Gif Included in Seventeen’s “Real Answers to Your Biggest Questions About Losing Your Virginity.” It highlights a kiss between two queer characters on the teen show Riverdale.

Seventeen. “Real Answers to Your Biggest Questions About Losing Your Virginity,” April 26, 2019. https://www.seventeen.com/love/advice/a16453/virginity-questions-answered/.

Magazines aimed towards the younger generation employ similar tactics in order to build community and bring forth diverse narratives, though older readers may view them as “cringe”. Seventeen magazine (they’re still going!) published an article in 2019 titled “Real Answers to Your Biggest Questions About Losing Your Virginity”.13 Right below the title is a gif featuring two actresses on the hit teen show Riverdale kissing in the rain. The actresses are both straight and conventionally pretty, however the fact that the magazine was willing to feature a queer couple as their only image in the article deserves credit. By selecting a fairly sanitized queer couple on a famous TV show, they are able to get “diversity points” while pandering to teenage pop culture. The article itself, much like its 1996 predecessor, uses colloquial language and teenage slang in order to connect to its audience. Words like “yep”, “BTW”, “TBH”, "BFF", and excessive use of capitalization (“SO. MANY. QUESTIONS”) seem to imitate a text conversation between an older sister or trusted friend. While many would dismiss these tactics as silly and de-value the message as a result, the choices they make work to build trust with their readers, and establish a personal rapport within the inherently private space of the internet.

From the 60s to today, women’s magazines have been spaces for women to challenge social narratives surrounding virginity, and gain comfort in shared experiences. In the 60s, magazines like Chatelaine and Cosmopolitan fostered debate by publishing responses to their controversial articles, and allowing scientific pieces advocating for sexual education to be published. In the 90s, the women’s magazines became spaces where women could seek personalized advice, and lament their sexual challenges without judgment. Editors of Cosmopolitan and Seventeen encouraged women of all ages (even unmarried ones!) to seek their own understanding of virginity, in a time where different viewpoints surrounding its morality were flooding public consciousness. Even the shift to digital in the late 2010s and 2020s could not kill their revolutionary spirit. While publications had to shift formats to suit an online audience - more pictures, and a whole lotta lists- they continued to be dedicated to breaking down stereotypes around virginity by including diverse depictions of intimacy, and opening their audience to expand beyond the gender binary. While some people will always dismiss for-women-by-women publications, they have played an important role in the shaping of young minds, and in examining the prejudices surrounding virginity.

Endnotes

“History of Publishing - Women’s Magazines | Britannica.” Accessed May 4, 2023. https://www.britannica.com/topic/publishing/Womens-magazines.
Literary Hub. “The Power of Community: On the Radical History of Women’s Magazines,” June 15, 2022. https://lithub.com/the-power-of-community-on-the-radical-history-of-womens-magazines/.
Cannon, Kenneth L., and Richard Long. “Premarital Sexual Behavior in the Sixties.” Journal of Marriage and Family 33, no. 1 (1971): 36–49. https://doi.org/10.2307/350156.
"VIRGIN BRIDES." Chatelaine, 02, 1969, 72,
https://www.proquest.com/wma/docview/1715434923/CA51134904A54E7EPQ/21
Scheinfeld, Amram. "Married Virgins." Cosmopolitan, 12, 1964, 22, https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fmagazines%2Fmarried-virgins%2Fdocview%2F1999134132%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676
Scheinfeld, Amram. "Married Virgins." Cosmopolitan, 12, 1964, 22, https://ezproxy.bu.edu/login?qurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.proquest.com%2Fmagazines%2Fmarried-virgins%2Fdocview%2F1999134132%2Fse-2%3Faccountid%3D9676
Carpenter, Laura M. “The Ambiguity of ‘Having Sex’: The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States.” The Journal of Sex Research 38, no. 2 (2001): 127–39. The Ambiguity of "Having Sex": The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States
Carpenter, Laura M. “Virginity Loss in Reel/Real Life: Using Popular Movies to Navigate Sexual Initiation.” Sociological Forum 24, no. 4 (2009): 804–27. http://www.jstor.org/stable/40542597.
McCarthy, Jenna. "Virgin Alert!" Seventeen, 06, 1996, 58, https://www.proquest.com/wma/docview/1870585264/CA51134904A54E7EPQ/26#
"VIRGIN ON THE VERGE." Cosmopolitan, 09, 1999, - 1 page 100, https://www.proquest.com/wma/docview/2023939283/B7BB4CB7A70C48C8PQ/103
“What Is Virginity & The Hymen? | Losing Your Virginity.” Accessed May 4, 2023. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/virginity.
Smith, Erika W. “12 Tips For Your First Time Having Sex.” Refinery29, 2021. Accessed March 21, 2023. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/virgin-first-time-sex-tips
Seventeen. “Real Answers to Your Biggest Questions About Losing Your Virginity,” April 26, 2019. https://www.seventeen.com/love/advice/a16453/virginity-questions-answered/.

About the Author

Olivia Blackmer grew up in the suburbs surrounding Boston, spent less than a semester in Middlebury Vermont, then came right back to Boston University, where she now majors in English and minors in Costume Design. She spends her time outside of school teaching sewing to kids in the area, reading bad romance novels, and begging her girlfriend to cook for her.

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