Personality and Responsibility: The Lasting Effect of Ones Place in the Birth Order 

Mathew Kreidberg 

CAS HI303

Blower

Considering the scope of the modern nuclear family, it can be easy to believe that sibling dynamics and birth order have always had a profound influence on who someone may become in their adulthood.  Given the fact that childhood takes place in the formative years where most adolescents are living with parents who give out certain responsibilities to each child largely dependent on birth order. These responsibilities can have a large impact on how each child's personality is formed.  While this has become a staple of the modern home, oftentimes with the eldest child receiving most of the burden of responsibility, the middle being ignored, and the youngest receiving the most attention it is a fairly recent trend as seen in the dinner scene from The Incredibles (1).  Before the 20th century families were seen more as one wholistic unit, as mortality rates were much higher at the time less attention was paid to what order a child was born.  Attention was paid to them for being a member of the household as an able body to help out with the responsibilities relying on the entire household rather than a certain member based on birth order.  Moving into the 20th century birth order started to become more important in effecting childrens personalities as a result of the responsibilities assigned to each sibling solidifying over the course of three distinct era’s the early 20th century (1900-1950’s), the late 20th century (1950’s-2000), and the early 21st century (2000 - present).

Figure 1:  Dinner Scene from the Incredibles (1)

Before the 20th century the dynamics associated with birth order were much less pronounced.  While there were probably instances of sibling rivalries and birth order based responsibilities before the 20th century it was few and far between.  Normally, before the 20th century families were organized as wholistic units where the burden was put on the entire family equally based on the number of able bodies in the household.  One reason as to why this did not effect households as much before the start of the 20th century was the decrease in mortality rate seen before the start of the 1900s.  According the chart below from PBS the mortality rate went from 165 deaths for every thousand at the start of the 20th century, to 7 for every thousand in the beginning of the 21st century (2).  In the world prior to the 20th century it would be very common to have a death in the family that could drastically shake up the birth order rendering any responsibility based on birth order to be ineffective.  It was reasons like the falling mortality rate that allowed for families to start creating birth order dynamics and why it started to have such an immense impact on children's personally starting at the beginning of the 20th century. 

Figure 2: Mortality Rate Chart from PBS Website (2)

Early 20th Century

Starting in the late 19th century into the early 20th century, birth order started to become more of a determining factor in developing ones personality. Instead of everyone being seen more as an able body in the household, parents began putting different pressures on different children based on their birth order. In the 20th century, as mortality rates decreased and families expected their children to live long lives into adulthood lessons from childhood based on where one was in the birth order began to have lasting effects on who these children would become.  Oftentimes for the youngest child in the beginning of the 20th century these lessons would plant a chip on their shoulder in the hopes of earning people's respect and take on more responsibility which is shown in its progression into the 20th century dynamics as well. Carrie from Little house on the prairie articulates this chip on her shoulder when she admits “the youngest in the family is always looked upon as a child, even when they’re not”(3). This quote served to educate the reader that younger children stood no chance of being taken seriously.  Even in the even that they are established people in their social circles, the youngest child will always be looks down upon as the baby of their nuclear family giving them the ability to form a chip on their shoulder to begin the 21st century.  

For the middle child, beginning in the early 20th century, these lessons became self evident as well and they began to start shaping the personalities of the middle child into one that sometimes would feel ignored or that they did not fit in. One of the best representations of how this dynamic plays out is from Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye written in 1951.  Holden articulates this experience by explaining “I'm the middle child. I always felt like I didn't fit in. I wasn't the oldest, I wasn't the youngest. I was just stuck in the middle." (4).  This “stuck in the middle” feeling represents a hard time that middle children had, starting in the early 20th century with finding who they are and what they should do with their lives.  Since most attention in the household was payed to the eldest or the youngest in the early 20th century the middle often felt like they don't fit in and which resulted in children beginning to feel like Holden, if they were the middle child themselves.

The impact of being an older sibling in the early 20th century on ones personality was immense.  Outside of the experience from the youngest, and middle child the burden of responsibility, starting in the early 20th century that was put on the eldest child impacted them completely differently and formed a more independent and perhaps pessimistic personality for those considered the eldest.   In general if someone was the eldest child they would be more likely to be an authoritative and protective figure to their other siblings.  This is articulated extremely well by Frank in Cheaper by the Dozen written in 1948 when he says “Being the oldest in a large family meant that I had to take care of my younger siblings. It taught me compassion and patience, but also made me feel like I had to put others' needs before my own."(5).  This experience of having to put others needs before his own articulates what this type of role can do to someone personality.  Growing up in an environment where being responsible at an early age is expected is bound to result in some feeling more responsibility than others. This lead to the eldest child being considered as a more authoritative and protective personalities from their experience growing up, starting in the early 20th century when these types of roles dependent on birth order were becoming solidified.

Late 20th Century

As households matured into the late 20th century these same motif’s regarding birth order persisted.  If anything they were exacerbated and had an even greater impact on who someone might become depending on what their birth order happened to be.  This may be because of how their parents, treated them or how their other siblings treated them, but most likely it was a combination of both, taking place during the formative years and persisting into adulthood.  Starting with the youngest child in the late 20th century the theme of being underestimated, and the fuel it gave younger children to accomplish something in their lives resonated even deeper.  This came from constant depictions of the younger child being a helpless being who is reliant on the rest of their family to get anything done.  This, more is a result of how they were treated in the household, and oftentimes underestimated.  The Boston Herald put out an article below in 1960 describing a hurricane and what to do if you happened to be in a boat and this snippet that says “You put a lifejacket on your youngest child as your windows shake.” (6).  Encapsulated why this underestimated mindset often occurs.  In the article there is no mention of a middle or eldest child which could lead ot either jealousy from other siblings or an overprotective Mother and Father.  By being overprotective they never let their child live up to their potential and it leads to younger children starting to develop a chip on their shoulder and a desire to be productive and independent.

Figure 3: Article from The Boston Herald Depicting the Youngest Child (6)

As the 20th century progressed, and households were getting more comfortable with the idea that ones birth order may determine certain responsibilities which shape personality there was a feeling a being ignored middle children started to adopt. With a decrease in the time alluded in the home with the nuclear family, the time of the middle child is spent keeping the piece of the rest of the house and giving attention to the other family members.  The middle child had a much different experience than the eldest child. Since the middle child is neither the eldest, or the youngest child they held a certain middle ground where they may feel ignored as they were  not overprotected by parents like the youngest or given a burden of responsibility like the eldest.  A newspaper clipping from The Boston Herald on January 11th 1974 below encapsulates this isolation well when in describing how a middle child may feel as if they were “the only unspecial one” (7) in the family. This easy misunderstanding from middle children that they may be unimportant to the household was echoed into the late 20th century and articulates why being the middle child may be hard to do.   It shows that wherever one may be in the birth order, after the late 20th century it had a profound effect on the formative years and how people may incorporate these feelings into their adult life.

Figure 4: Article from The Boston Herald Depicting the middle Child (7)

For the Eldest child, continuing into the late 20th century it became extremely important to be responsible for your youngest siblings.  In terms of the responsibility these older siblings felt they acted almost as a second parent.   This is portrayed in pop culture in many different ways however the scene below shows Sunny in The Godfather doing a phenomenal job of articulating what this would look like in real time when he says “you touch my sister again, I’ll kill you” (8).  He takes advantage of his responsibility in being the eldest sibling and uses it to wage threats on anyone who might be around or threaten his younger sister.  While this might also have something to do with gender dynamics Sonny’s aggressive nature articulates well how elder siblings were expected to act towards threats to their younger siblings.  The feeling of needing to take responsibility is unique to the eldest child and became more and more prevalent in the late 20th century.  

Figure 5: Clip From the Godfather 1 Depicting Sunny as an Older Sibling (8)

Early 21st Century

As the nuclear household progresses into the early 21st century many of the motifs from the 20th century are echoed especially in the experience of the youngest child. As an example of how the experiences of the youngest child stayed mostly the same,  Melody Brookes from the book Out of my mind explains that “as the youngest, I was used to being overlooked and underestimated.  But I also knew that I had a lot of potential and that I could surprise people” (9). This early neglect that served to undervalue the responsibility of the youngest child in the household actually served to motivate younger children like Melody emmensly.  The choice to either become who your family sees you as or become who you want to be is presented to these younger children and as the 21st century began to pick up steam more and more of these people decided to use it as a chip on their shoulder that would lead them into the next phase of their lives.  This determination is a direct result of being undervalued in the home and as a result shows the connection between younger siblings in the early 21st century and the responsibility they feel to become someone outside of their lwo households expectations.

From humble mediator beginnings in the 1900s with the advent of technology and different ways to get children out of the house children began to spend much less time in the physical house.  This left the time they spent in the house extremely important for cultivating their family dynamic and in the 2000s the middle child had to learn to be a resource for keeping their families together as well as not receiving enough attention.  This balancing act could be extremely hard. Alex Dunphy articulates this dynamic well by stating "I'm the middle child. I'm like the filling in the sandwich, you don't notice me, but I'm there. And without me, the sandwich would fall apart."(10).  This feeling of being the filling of the sandwich shows the pressure that has been increased in the modern era. In the 2000s, middle children had less time to hold their family together and mediate their normal roles.  The small amount of time that they did spend in the house ended up as a disadvantage to do the job they were expected to do since the 1900’s.

This impact of being responsible remains into the 2000s with an even heavier emphasis on older children becoming leaders in the household.  However, in the early 21st century this sense of empowerment started to become a burden.  To highlight of what this type of burden might cause someone to do act like just take a look at Rodrick in the scene below from Diary of a Wimpy Kid giving his younger brother Greg advice on middle school.  He says “don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone, don't raise your hand, don’t go to the bathroom” (11)  amongst many other dont’s as he attempts to scare his younger brother.  This example shows the evolution of how older siblings have used their burden of responsibility with their younger siblings.  In the early 21st century as children have found many devices and distractions these types of responsibilities resonate less and less with the eldest child. Rodrick has turned the responsibility into an excuse to abuse his younger brother as he is too young to challenge the words of his eldest brother. 

Figure 6:  Scene From The Diary of a Wimpy Kid Movie Depicting Rodrick as The Eldest Child (11)

Conclusion

As a result of the mortality rate falling during the 20th century, with the advent of new technology and the rise of the modern nuclear household sibling dynamics have become more and more solidified into the culture.  Starting in the beginning of the 20th century as children began to be assigned certain roles and responsibilities based on their birth order as the 20th century progressed it became clear that these split responsibilities had a profound effect on their personality as well.  The younger child often was seen to be under appreciated and over coddled, the middle child often ignored and the eldest child burdened with the responsibilities of taking care of their younger siblings.  While these roles and responsibilities effect everyone differently it is clear that by the 21st century they are essential to consider when studying the modern nuclear family and the effect that it has on how different children perceive their surroundings as a result of their birth order. 

Citations

1: Bird, Brad. 2004. The Incredibles. United States: Buena Vista Pictures. 

Clip used -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTz59nkhBw 

2: “The First Measured Century: Timeline: Data - Mortality.” PBS, Public Broadcasting Service, https://www.pbs.org/fmc/timeline/dmortality.htm. 

3: Wilder, Laura Ingalls, 1867-1957. Little House on the Prairie. New York, N.Y. : HarperCollins, 1992.

4: Salinger, J. D. The Catcher in the Rye. Little, Brown and Company, 1991. (1951)

5:Gilbreth, Frank B. 1911-2001. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. Cheaper By the Dozen. New York, T.Y. Crowell Co, 1948.

6: Devin, Edward. “Scene and Heart at the State House.” The Boston Herald, 20 Sept. 1960. 

7: Gibbons, Barbara. “'Only' Children Didn't Mean to Hurt With Responses .” The Boston Herald, 11 Jan. 1974. 

8: Coppola, Francis Ford, director. The Godfather. Paramount Pictures, 1972.

Clip used - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imXfocs0_Oc 

9: Draper, S. M. (2013). Out of my mind. Atheneum Books for Young Readers.

10: Lloyd & S. Levitan (Producers), Modern Family. New York, NY: ABC.

11:  Freudenthal, Thor. Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Twentieth Century Fox, 2010. 

Clip used - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAryW2svz40  

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