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Maiden Name or Married Name
Maiden Name or Married Name
Ally Steeves
How did you get your last name? Was it passed down from your maternal side, passed down from your paternal side, or a combination of both? Regardless of your race, gender, or sexual identity, the answer is often “it is my father’s family name.” Surnames, or last names were said to originate in medieval England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. Since the English were one of the first European settlers in North America, these surnames were carried to the new world with them (1). Although this custom is hundreds of centuries old, married women continue to change their last names although there are piles of paperwork and documentation to be changed in the process. I have researched the history of heterosexual couples taking the last name of the husband and their children taking their fathers last name. I will analyze how this tradition has somewhat changed and somewhat stayed the same overtime. I will also touch on this tradition in terms of homosexual couples. The long standing tradition of women taking their husbands' last name comes from the idea of men wanting control over their wife and the deep rooted misogyny of the western world. The Handmaid’s Tale, a novel created in 1985 turned television series in 2017, shows a near-future dystopian society where women have zero freedoms and are named after their male owners. For example, the main character Offred “Of-Fred” is named after her commander, Fred (2). Although completely fiction, The Handmaid’s Tale gives a look into a society where men
are in complete control over women and creating the handmaid’s name is another right taken away from women. This is eerily similar to the way women taking their husband’s surname in the real world is an example of men gaining control over their wives.
Figure 1: The Handmaid's Tale Novel, 1985
It can be argued that there are many reasons for changing your last name and each person has their own. Concepts like religion and tradition can play a big role in this decision. Pastor John, the founder of “desiringgod.com” suggests that recently, the reasoning behind women changing their last name stem from one of the three categories; cultural, practicality, or religiously (3). Building off of the idea of religion, Pastor John goes on to say that in the bible, it states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head” Ephesians 5:22–23. Essentially, the husband is the head of his family therefore all members will take his last name. In terms of practicality, Pastor John suggests that taking the husband’s last name eliminates “difficulties over the long haul for children if the mother and the father have different names or a hyphenated name”. For instance, continuously combining hyphenated last names eventually will become unworkable. When referring to cultural ideas, Pastor John points out that taking the husband’s last name has been a long-standing tradition in the West.
Figure 2: Women and the American Story: What is Coverture?, 2020
Husbands wanting control over their wives and having them change their maiden surname comes from the idea of coverture. Coverture is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as, "The condition or position of a woman during her married life, when she is by law under the authority and protection of her husband" (4). The idea of coverture and use of the word has been around since the middle ages. This video from the New York Historical Society shows coverture over time and how it still lingers today. Women, in particular wives, were not their own person. They could not make their own money and they could not own property.
Sir William Blackstone was an English jurist, his commentary shows that wives in the 18th century were under the complete control of their husbands under coverture laws. The husband and wife were one entity and that entity was the husband.
Figure 3: William Blackstone. Commentaries on the Laws of England. Vol, I (1765), pages 442-445
Figure 6: N. Currier. Marriage Certificate., ca. 1848. New York: Published by N. Currier. Photograph. https://www.loc.gov/item/2002710019/.
The 19th century proves to be a time where it was customary for a woman to take their husband’s last name. Women keeping their maiden names or couples hyphenating their last names really did not exist. Once a couple was married in the 19th century, the husband basically owned his wife. This marriage certificate from 1848 shows the duties of both the husband and the wife. Part of this certificate states, “A wife’s desire shall be to her husband”. At this time it was believed that a woman was destined to be a wife and a wife was destined to obey whatever her husband desires. As coverture began to dissolve, men found a new way to control their wives with the "Head and Master laws". These laws reigned everywhere in the US until the 1950's. (5). These laws were put in place to ensure a man would have the final say in every decision regarding his wife and his family.
In the late 19th century and the early 20th century, the women's rights movement began to take off and it was heavily felt that “forcing” a woman to take their husband's last name was just another right that was being taken away from women.
Figure 5: National Women's History Museum, Lucy Stone
https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/lucy-stone
Lucy Stone was an activist that spearheaded the women's suffrage movement. One thing she did to fight against the oppression of women, was refusing to take her husband’s last name during their wedding. She is known to be one of the first women to do this. Her wedding vows opposed “wifely obedience” and protested against marital laws (6). She pioneered the idea that women should not have to take their husband’s last name and that it was against their basic human rights to be forced to do so. Her progressive thinking set a new standard for women and inspired many others to do the same as her, including her daughter who became a feminist and abolitionist.
In the early to mid 20th century women still felt they needed to take their husband’s last name in marriage but, thanks to woman suffragists like Lucy Stone there was some spark of change. This letter clearly details how women had to be granted the right to state their maiden name on passports instead of saying “wife of…”.Men, especially men in high government positions would not see why a woman would ever want to have a name different from her husband. During this time, married women had to have joint passports with their husbands as another form of control husbands had (7). In order for this rule to be changed lots of women would have to protest it, not just a few. In the 1920’s women activists created the Lucy Stone League to “help married women preserve the identity of their own surnames” (8) . Although there were activists beginning to fight for a woman’s right to keep her own surname, it was not enough to change the common belief that men had control over their wife when married.
As the 20th century went on, the idea of hyper-masculinity and women conforming to their husband’s control continued. It is important to note that this did not just negatively affect women but gay couples as well. This newspaper article shows that in order to get married the marriage license had to specify that the person getting married was required to list “a woman’s maiden last name”. It was such a common custom that it wasn’t even an option or an expectation for a woman to not take her husband’s last name. There was no option for two women to get married or two men to get married. In order to get married you had to be a man marrying a woman and your wife had to intend on taking your last name. It was essentially just accepted that women would assume their husband's last name. Women and men were pressured into living in an affluent, heterosexual world where the man was the breadwinner and the women had to tend to the house and take care of the children (9).
Figure 7: “Texas Marriage Ruled Null and Void.” Clovis News Journal, December 11, 1972.
http://www.houstonlgbthistory.org/Houston80s/Misc/Ert-Billie/72-121172-ert.jpg
Figure 8: Parodeck, Meyer. Marriage Announcement. 1960. Digital Commonwealth,
https://www.digitalcommonwealth.org/search/commonwealth-oai:kh04jr41q
This wedding invitation is from 1960. The invitation indicates that the parents of the bride were handing their daughter off to the groom and this was only about 60 years ago. Being a woman and having a maiden last name was essentially crucial to getting married up until the beginning of the 1970’s . This heavy push of heterosexuality and misogyny until the mid 20th century not only diminished the rights of straight women but simultaneously diminished the rights of homosexual couples as well. Having to essentially “lose” your maiden name and take your husband’s name made it impossible for gay couples where there wasn’t one male and one female to get married in the United States.
Figure 9: Women's Strike for Equality, 1970
In the mid to late 20th century, going against these societal norms and keeping your maiden surname was still not that common. Prior to the 1970’s, if a woman wanted to keep her maiden name she often resulted in using it as her middle name like US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. A real shift in the idea of a woman keeping her surname didn’t begin until the term “Ms.” became acceptable to use as a married woman that kept her surname. This is credited to the rise of marriage age and the increase in advanced degrees earned by women. By the time women got married they had already made a name for themselves and they did not need to conform to their husband’s last name (10).The 1970’s women’s rights movement played a large role in this shift as well. On the 50th year reunion of the ratification of the 19th amendment, NOW (National Organization for Women) organized a nationwide women’s strike. The organization sent out this survey with one of the yes or no questions asking: “If you are married, did you have a twinge of regret at having to give up the name you’ve had since birth?” Women wanted equality and they did not need to give up their name at the expense of their husband.
Towards the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 21st century, egalitarianism spread across the nation, and married couples face the problem of deciding on a last name rather than customarily assuming the last name of the husband. With men and women becoming more and more equal, married men no longer had laws and customs supporting the control over their wives. At this time we see a change and modernization of women choosing their last names. Couples began hyphenating their last names or just using both their last name and their husband's last name as two last names. Known public figures like Kim Kardashian West and Hillary Rodhan Clinton have decided to keep their maiden names along with their married names. Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Perez changed both of their last names to “Perez Beckham” to preserve both of their surnames. These two cartoons from the New Yorker were published in 1994 and 1995. At the turn of the century, the husband’s last name no longer was automatically assumed as the wife’s last name or their child's last name.
Figures 10 and 11: The New Yorker, March 25,1994 and Sep 11,1995
As of September 2020, women in the United States take their husband’s last name around 70% of the time (11). Surprisingly enough, that percentage is actually lower than it has been in previous generations. The percentage in the US is also lower than the percentage in Britain (90%). The BBC article, accredits this decrease to the rise in feminism in the United States. Women today are still fighting against decades old misogynistic ideals. The presumption that a child also has to take their father’s last name plays a role in this tradition. According to the "Accounting for the Predominance of Fathers’ Surnames for Children", “giving fathers’ surnames to their children as the only proper choice feeds the inertia of micro-and-macro-structures that reflect and reinforce gender differences in moral responsibility regarding self-sacrifice for family, children, and spouses” (12). Although, there have been lots of changes in the idea of “taking” your partner's last name, some ideas still contain influences from the 18th century and older.
End Notes
End Notes
Suzanne Art, “Lesson 1: How Did Surnames Come to be”, Edsitement!, Written November 13, 2009. https://edsitement.neh.gov/lesson-plans/lesson-1-how-did-surnames-come-be
Bruce Miller, Hulu’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” Released April 26, 2017 , https://www.hulu.com/series/the-handmaids-tale-565d8976-9d26-4e63-866c-40f8a137ce5f
Piper, John. “Must a Wife Take Her Husband’s Last Name.” Desiring God, November 2013. https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/must-a-wife-take-her-husbands-last-name https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/must-a-wife-take-her-husbands-last-name
"coverture, n.". OED Online. March 2023. Oxford University Press. https://www-oed-com.ezproxy.bu.edu/view/Entry/43385
Brooke Blower, “Coverture and ‘Head and Master’ Laws”, Hi303: Sex, Love, and Family (Class Lecture, Boston University, Boston Ma, 2023)
Michals, Debra “Lucy Stone.” National Women’s History Museum. 2017. www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/lucy-stone.
Brooke Blower, “Limited Rights of Mothers and Married Women in the Early 20th Century” Hi303: Sex, Love, and Family (Class Lecture, Boston University, Boston Ma, 2023)
Claudia Goldin and Maria Shim, “Making a Name: Women’s Surnames at Marriage and Beyond” Journal of Economic Perspectives Volume 18, no. 2(Spring 2004) 143-160, https://scholar.harvard.edu/goldin/files/making_a_name_womens_surnames_at_marriage_and_beyond.pdf
Brooke Blower, “Breadwinner and Housewife” Hi303: Sex, Love, and Family (Class Lecture, Boston University, Boston Ma, 2023)
Ibid 8
Savage, Maddy. “Why Do Women Still Change Their Names?” British Broadcasting Corporation, September 23, 2020. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200921-why-do-women-still-change-their-names
Nugent, Colleen. “Children’s Surnames, Moral Dilemmas: Accounting for the Predominance of Fathers’ Surnames for Children.” Gender and Society 24, no. 4 (2010): 499–525. http://www.jstor.org/stable/25741194,
About the Author
About the Author
Ally Steeves grew up in a small suburb outside of Boston and spent her summers on Cape Cod. She grew up in a close-knit family with a love for Boston sports, so going to college in the city that she called home was an easy choice. She has always had an interest in the business world, she even opened her own "shop" during elementary school recess where she would sell the duct-tape wallets and friendship bracelets she made.
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