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Due to COVID19, I am currently not able to see clients in person, and have moved exclusively to teleconferencing via HIPAA compliant video platforms.
Watch and listen to Erin Alexander, LPC-S, Sex Therapist; Kennie Polit, LPC; and their guests engaging in unique, sex-positive dialogue about relationships, lifestyles, sexual health, social issues, mental health, and more!
Additional Resources
Additional Resources
Recommended Ted Talks
Recommended Ted Talks
Anthropologist Helen Fisher takes on a tricky topic – love – and explains its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its social importance. She closes with a warning about the potential disaster inherent in antidepressant abuse.
In our tech-driven, interconnected world, we've developed new ways and rules to court each other, but the fundamental principles of love have stayed the same, says anthropologist Helen Fisher. Our faster connections, she suggests, are actually leading to slower, more intimate relationships.
Social psychologist and sex researcher Terri Conley thinks it's high time we stop feeling guilty about enjoying casual sex—no matter what society says. In this entertaining talk, Conley interrogates three common myths about sexuality and gender and suggests a few new, guilt-free ways to think about our sex lives.
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.
Why do we crave love so much, even to the point that we would die for it? To learn more about our very real, very physical need for romantic love, Helen Fisher and her research team took MRIs of people in love -- and people who had just been dumped.
In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
For additional sex education material, try out the Sex Hacker Pro Course by Kenneth Play.
Sex Tips:
Start reframing your narrative about sex and what the sexual experience "should be". It's a fun activity (or should be) during the whole process. There is no particular endgame. Orgasm is not the endgame, it's just a nice part of the experience. Remember, there are 3 types of sex: slow connectedness type sex (love-making); the instructional type; and the quickie/stress management type sex (fucking). Each person will have things that they like, don't like, things that they are good at doing, or not good at doing, and that's ok.
The Yes, No, Maybe list is so that you can see what you're comfortable with, and not. This is a comprehensive list that covers sexual language, boundaries, acts, etc. It makes it much easier to have sexual conversations with your partner.
Use a silicone lubricant instead for a sexual activity. This is for all sexual activity. Silicone lasts longer and does not have a taste. It also won't stain things. Using a lubricant for all sex play take away the pressure or embarrassment of whether you are being identified as being aroused because you are wet, or not. It also removes that pressure from a partner to "make you aroused". Lube is just part of sex play.
Doing some sensual touch exercises together with your partner. See how comfortable it is to do these and not have sexual intercourse. Add this to your playtime. This will help get you back into the swing of things without the pressure of "sex" and performance.
Masturbation...it's a very healthy activity that helps to improve libido and it helps you learn your body. When you are comfortable with your own body, it makes it easier to communicate to a partner how you like to be touched. Masturbation alone can gradually become masturbating in the same room, then watching the other person (mutual masturbation). Watching your partner can be very instructional, and it can be a turn-on. Masturbation is also your down time...your "me-time". This activity can merely be "stimulation" and not always result in an orgasmic conclusion.
Here are some helpful apps on the iPhone for couples, especially when in distance relationships, and/or when you know you are not able to be physically present as much as you want to be:
Spicer (it's like a Yes, No, Maybe list)
Love Nudge (It gets into the love languages, goals, connection)
Honi (Helps to come up with surprises, fantasies, coupons)
Sex Roulette (Sexy truth or dare)
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