PHOTO BY J. UNG VIA CANVA

Originally published June 6, 2025

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

     In a shocking turn of events, MBMS has finally peaked—not with academic excellence or students cramming through the hallways, but with holographic, shining, sparkling trading cards of local legends. The mysterious emergence of Bakermon cards has left administrators confused, teachers astounded, and students furiously bartering like it’s the lunch bell ringing while students stampede to the lunchroom.

   There were many reported sightings of these cards as well as many “Bakermon Brawls” where students would throw down their Bakermon cards and depending on what type of card they’ve got, an epic attack would unleash. 

   “My attacks were ABLAZING as I used the card I found, “Rebellious Dillard” and she did a remarkable amount of damage,” said eighth-grader Firey Jeepersnickers ambitiously with glee. “She deals lots of damage with her Detention Dash!”

   But the real question still lingers, where did these cards come from, and how do they work? These cards are rumored to have magical and astounding powers deep within them when thrown down on the school battlefields. 

   “I used 'Silly Koenig' and she really did an amazing amount of attack damage, even the other opponents were afraid of her strong grading slashes!” said Gigglesbrave McTrunkus excitedly with glee and astonishment flashing in his eyes.

   These anonymous cards are magical and powerful spirits which take the form as cards and unleash their own personalized and impressive powers and abilities. There are many variations and types such as elemental based abilities (fire, water, grass, steel, ice, rock, etc) and more miscellanous types like flight, fairy, or psychic. Regardless of type, they all have many individualized and effective abilities and attacks that do a lot of impact.

   "We want to keep these cards under control; students could be frolicking around the halls starting battles left and right during school hours..." said Principal Tralala Lelolo while holding a deck of confiscated cards from around the school. "These are just safety precautions, epic battles could arise and potentially cause a ruckus around campus." 

   As far as we know, students and their epic battles all over school and flaunting and bartering these new cards are truly a hit! Many students go as far as to collecting these mystical and amazing cards, in extremely HUGE collections. Strangely though, some teachers began complaining about suddenly being teleported to random places and coming back confused, dazed, and sore. 

   "I was so confused, how did I go from my office to the lunchroom?" said Lelolo in a concerned manner, little did he know later he was transported out onto the basketball court.

   The deck of boring old baseball cards you own? Get that out of here and make way for the most brightening, powerful, and very magical cards, Bakermon.