PHOTO BY S. VU VIA CANVA AI

Originally published June 6, 2025

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   Teachers are introducing "Reverse Grades.” Grade point averages (GPA) change based on social status and absurdity. An F (4.0) is the highest grade, while an A (0.0) is failing. 

   “This system was put in place to acknowledge the creativity of F students. I believe that they deserve more credit than A students because they’re our future inventors,” algebra teacher Queen Taylor said.

   The system to reward students for an F has created a local disaster with students changing their overachieving mindset in the traditional system, to becoming insane to succeed in the new reversal system. 

   “I’m willing to do anything to succeed, even if it means sacrificing my sanity. I went from volunteering for the National Junior Honor Society to distributing free tattoos and hosting karaoke festivals mid-class to thriving in the new grading system,” seventh-grader Jacorn Wheeler said.

   Students are dedicated to doing whatever it takes to be academically successful. The ideas of classroom etiquette have been pushed to the limits.

   “To adapt to the new school rules, I started taking supplements that gave me wings and a horn. Unfortunately, a side effect was growing a mustache, but it counted as extra credit towards my GPA,” seventh-grader Cai Showers said.

   Though most scholars prosper with the new system, there has been huge controversy as to whether or not the new system is reasonable. Disagreeing with the new system as a student can cause a crucial GPA decrease.

   “I used to be at the top of my class and active in the chess club and mathletes. But, with the new system, my GPA has gone downhill and into the negatives, I can’t just force myself to be stupid,” Johne Nitrogen said. 

   The controversy with this topic was even more troublesome among teachers, with some teachers quitting and even some being placed into therapy counseling sessions.

   “Sadly, there are downsides to everything. With the new system, I’ve reported many more kids starting to develop habits or hobbies such as inventing Chromebooks or even a flamethrower out of lead,” Taylor said. “As a teacher, I need to control these behaviors by resorting to kid leashes or even regular leashes if they decide to bring in their ‘support’ pet orangutan or something.”

   Though this rule was created exclusively for MBMS’ inventors, the concept is spreading globally and may also encourage a mass worldwide intelligence quotient decrease.

   “Since people aren’t pressured to be perfect anymore, we probably lost about a hundred future doctors but gained more engineers, because F students are inventors and creativity matters more,” Wheeler said.