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Clipjoint Listings

The old days when I was a kid.

Dont take this to serious as I will admit that I dont know anything. I was kicked out of Kindergarten for not shaving.

But it seems to me that the old days was the best. The week end was One day Sunday. Come Sunday The boss would load the thirty years catch in A peter Schuttler wagon. And took off. Not like Lindberg. But sane like. Over to uncles Where Grandmother Stayed. And made the trip by ten in the morning. And the catch was shook up A little. but happy as a dead Pig in the sunshine.

Ah But behold that arrival. The catch on both sides went onto A football Yell and the women into A clinch. (they lived Eight Miles apart) The smacking and Kissing sounded like a cow pulling her foot out of A bog. Everybody Kissed Grandma. Even the pup.

About one hour before the evening Sun went over the hill, The kids all went into the thing of getting the horses harnessed and in shape For the return Journey. All that kissing had to be done over. And It was back to work for There was no Eight hours A day. No Witholding tax. And No Social security. Just plain living. Then the Poloticans run the Country. The farmer run the farm. Now the Poloticans run everything.

Then Everything changed. Here come the Automobile. And Prohibition. But that didnot hurt so bad You could get a Bottle of Home brew for a Quarter. Sediments and all. And beef was too heap to steal. Them days You went to see your girl. Drove up to the house in A Model T. Got out and went in the house with your hat in hand. Your girl set in one End of the house, you in the other. Grandma in the middle to see that there was No skulldrudgery going on. And A great Grandpa clock on the wall. Saying very slow. Take your time. Take your time.

Now you go to see her in one of them underslung, over speeded, Glass enclosed Emplements of ignorance. Drive up blow the horn and yell come on toots. When she appears go into A clinch. thumb your nose at the old folks and take off like the Smoke from hot water. Swift and Silent. And the little clock on the wall is in A hurry. saying Get together, get together.

And after you and her have got together, and the Catch comes along, and you want to spend A sat night away from home tell them A nice little Lie anything to get Them out of sight till Sun morning. Then go to A Night Club.

Get soused give the Little woman Hell. and she is in the mood to get right back at you. start home, Drive on the wrong side of the road. Both eyes shut. At sixty or better. wake up with A headache and the Diahirreah. And you have Had A wonderful time.

Faith, Hope and Charity. No charity. Its gone.

There abides in us all three things. The good books says. Faith, Hope and Charity But the greatest of these three is Charity. But from the Squawking I have Heard the last three days about this here Raise in Taxes there is not to much Charity. As I see it.

It is just like Drawing at A four Flush In A poker game. If the raise is too High Get out. I have not been here to long. At least I can still remember it. I doubt if there was twenty bath tubs in town. You took A bath the first Of July and one at Xmas And between time you got to smelling like A man. We went to the toilet in the back yard. Fought the Flies In the Summer. And the cold frosty seat in winter. And we did not go till we had to And what A relief. that was before DDT and flit guns was invented. If you wanted rest Without flies go at mealtime they would all be in the kitchen.

I have helped push cars out of the Bog on Main Street. I did not rupture myself Pushing mind you. But pushed.

Wages was two Dollars A day. All day. Beef steak twenty-five cents A pound. And they give you the Liver. Now it costs more than the steak. Then you had A chance to steal some beef. Now no dice. To many men with Pistols. Fast cars. Two way Radios. And brand Enspectors Besides the rounders roughnecks hackdriver. And men of the legal Profession.

Now the same men that howls The loudest live in Gas heated houses. Drive good Automobiles. With heaters. and Radio. And holler like hell if The radio don't work. or squawks a little. And we have paved streets. Sewer system and all the Luxuries of the big towns. do A little looking Around and see what Taxes is in some of the bigger towns. Then give up the Dung hillsquawk.

What these men are doing is like the Goofus bird that flew backwards. He did not care where he was going he wanted to see where he had been. They are living in A vast Graveyard. Tombstones of the Past are throwing a shadow over them. and blighting out the future that may be in sore. They cannot see and wander aimlessly about in the dark. They have got to get Out where there is light and fresh air. Where there is motion and quit Looking at that Quivering skeleton that has the Spasms.

Face the truth, as much as it is Abhorred now days. Live the rest of the time They have in this old wartorn griefstricken Polotical ridden world. What if it costs A little more what is money, as bad as we all want it. You cannot eat it, and you cannot take it with you. the more you have now days The more worry you have trying to keep some Clipper like me from Stealing it.

So pay up old soldier. And look the world in the face. Thank you Dr or Lawyer or State official that it is no worse than it is. They seem to control Things the Lord has nothing to do with it anymore. And grin like A cat eating Liver. Look forward. A man is never old till he goes to looking back. What the hell the poloticans has got to live. And those taxes will be spent on A better life for you. SMILE. Giggle out loud. It wont break your face.

P.S. What the hell do we care about the Fininance In France. look what we have here. They have hell enough Here. Without this old Rin-tin-tin--writing about it Uh!

Preachers, teachers and judges.

Me I am a Minority man. If any one ever agrees with me I know that I am wrong. We hear day after day Writers, Preachers and teachers Judges. And the writers so far as I can see write about the great men. Typewriters chattering like Machine guns. Great printing presses devouring paper by the tons. . .

And what is all this fuss over men--Great men. They are a womans child just the same as all ther est of us. And when one of them go over the hill, Screaming Headlines come out. and the flag is dropped half mast When they are Folded back into the Bowels of mother earth. And Become just as small as the smallest and poorest of any of us. And their going does not cause a Ripple on the waves time. And it seems like the writers of today has not Woke Up to the fact that every life is a Mystery and every death a Tragedy. No matter how Small and how Poor that soul may be.

All they got to write about is Great Men. scientist and polotical leaders with the story conjured up in their own College bred mind. He cannot write the truth. it is heard so seldom that it is comedy. And it must Not be a lie that is so big that it will backfire. And like a drink of whiskye Not taste near as good as it did going.

And what of their college bred Mind. if they had of been out making a living. and Not had some one to send Them their money. The years wasted in college they might have got a reasonable Education, provided they had a Foundation to build on. And how some of the old timers of today would like to have the itme wasted in going to school of journalism and learning just how to put the story out. with just the right amount of juice in it. So it will sell. And yet not so much juice that it will backfire. And just Who to see and What strings to pull. and all that old bunk.

But it can readily be seen why I will answer that A writer Can no more afford to write about the poor and the down and out than a modern lawyer can Defend a broke man. He must suit the whims of the great Public. He must suit the customs, As customs fix the great things that are good and the things that are bad. According to the times. A realistic tale is true. So he cannot write a realistic tale. Unless it is so messed up and distorted that it has the truth taken out of it.

So we eat and drink and go on our way, Walking the narrow path of life and Take what come along. and once in a while there is a day of great importance to us. And the College bred writer dares not try to write a story of that kind for he has never lived. Only in class rooms and lecture halls. And could not do the job if he wanted to show life as it exists, the good and the bad the beauty, the ugly, the poor, the rich, in mind as well as in pocket. And not judge a Man by he clothes he wears. And the language he usese, and size of his bank Account, try to show the reader what the world is and keep trying so every Person that reads his works will have a better understanding of what goes on.

Give him common sense to read not Common horse crap. And the world I Amagine will in time Get to be a better place to life. Some old boy said What the world needs is Tolerance. Better understanding. And truth. But today you hear one one Radio Commentator say one thing and in the next fifteen minutes some other station will come on. Like this. This is station SQUAWK Broadcasting over a frequency of ham And eggs. And instruducing you to Dub Scours. And the way he goes on the same subject. But a different View all together.

And how are we poor simps that has not had the time or money to put in colleges know what to believe. The only thing I can Suggest is Do your own thinking. and draw your own conclusions, and you are as apt to be right as any of them.

And by using good common horse sense, enstead of Common Horse crap, you have better than An average chance of being right. who knows.

One of the polotical Boys caught stealing.

seven foot picket. Charges the boys.

Ship A hoy. Gobs. Said Barnacle bill the sailor.

Look at the screaming headlines in the Sante Fe new Mexican. Another one of the Boys has been caught. AGAIN. with his pants down or at least unbuttoned. And nine hundred short. Just A small item of nine hundred. It is called in the paper Dead heading. that it ot what it was called when I was accused, and proven Guilty. It was called. Willfully and Maliciously and Feloniously Stealing. But things have changed. Now it is dead heading. Giving the money for services Not rendered. In other words Doing the leech act on the taxpayers pocket book.

It looks like this is the second time it has happened. But he repaid the money And was forgiven. Now is that just like the good boys in The State Capitol. Forgive and forget. Just like Jesus. The only Difference is that they Shave and wear pants and the Good Master had to wear A robe. And had no Razor.

And the School Board has asked for the Resignation of the man Now that is To bad what would you do in case of that kind if you was in Business. And Caught A man taking a little carfare. Like he lived in Constantinople. And that is not all another one of the boys. Polotical independent. Made a plea. For confidence in the way the School was being handled.

Now that sounds good. As no doubt the administration is being handled by some people that is trying To do the best they can with the material they have. to learn the kids somehing and have nothing whatever to do with the Money end of it only to receive A small Portion of it once A month. These people is working people. And doing the best they can under Conditions. Oh you generation of Vipers. Hear ye, Hear ye. And they say Captain Kid was a Pirate.

And there is another case. That of the big seven foot picket. Poor little doughBelly could not stand flat footed and lick salt out of his navel. He just Bowed his neck Like A galloway bull running through high Briars. And crashed the State Capitol anyway. And he is cousing a cereBullium Tarnado. Got them as inflamed as the rear anatomy of A turpintined Dog. And as nervous as A prostitue in church. He wonts A grand Jury rolling pin. To smooth out the wrinkles. and there is apt to be plenty. Rip Van wrinkles. By the score. just like A oak leaf after frost. Dead but still hanging on.

I amagine it will be good IF he gets the envestigation over it will be the First time he has ever stumped his toe. It was always the side of his foot. The paper states that it will take seventy five Names and some Handling.

One thing sure if they ever get Pickett off balance there will be one H--- of A crash. But let him go. he thinks he is right. and Maybe he is. He has not Been proven wrong yet. And now we will have A look at Big Pick. He was on the leech List for A time. And I bet my roll he was a gool one. Well dont be a Piker if you are going to be something. be A good one. His mouth looks like the Mammouth cave but when he opens it out comes something. and it is not all BILL. He dont hide behind the lapel of A preachers coat or drape himself in some camoflauge. The only thing you can say is he is doing what he said he would. He is badly tongue tied. Tied in the middle and loose ot both ends.

So long John if I don't see you no more Hello.

The legal Profession. And its antics.

Well our big friend Pickett. Gave fourth another blast tonight. That will Set The Boys back ontheir Haunches. It looks like the Old boy just Backs his Ears and wades in Belly deep and for it to be belly deep for him would Be way over my Head. The thing that I have wondered for A long time is why they don't Repeal, revoke, Burn up or tear up About ninety percent of the laws on the Books now and Make The others workable. Now when you want to find out if You are guilty of something Or try to find out just how guilty you are. You go to one of the men of the legal Profession and ask him. he will start telling you in Book number so and so, passed by the session of the Cornvention, of rounders. that it says it is unlawful to murder kill, Maim Or reface so and so. And ramble on for Hours. Lead you off into that land Of Legal Mystery. And the only thing you can do is set and nod your head. You don't dare shake it. And grin like A cat eating Liver. and when he finishes You don't know what he is talking about and Maybe he dont either. But you have A case. And Ah. I will look it up and let you know. And finally you get the answer. I find in the old English courts. A precedent. Might be used in this case. Always looking back. That Lord bo ka ack. In the days of King James had something similar. And being A very good Barrister won his case. By a vote of nine to one. the one being Adjudged Errevalen, Immaterial and Inane, his vote did not count.

I wonder what A cowman would no and how long he would last if he found A Cow in the bog. and had to go home and find a Book that would tell him just How to tie the rope on when to make the first pull and if i should be In the dark of the moon or the light. And how hard to pull. Or the groceryman that had to stop and tell every customer when the beans was Planted. how much rainfall they had. and if they was Nutritious. How many calories they have and when they will produce A certain wind Velocity. And how to cook them. It is A wonder to my weak mind. But I am not Supposed to know these things. As I was kicked out of Kindergarten for not Shaving and all I have learned is the hard way.

I still say watch Pickett. He may go down but my guess it that he will go Down fighting. And it will be A Show worth the admission.