• Chat with a peer advocate by clicking on the “Chat Online Now” button at the top of loveisrespect.org
  • Text* loveis (capitalization does not matter) to 22522.
  • Speak to a peer advocate by calling 1-866-331-9474
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE
  • Download the teen talk app for your iPhone to vent, share, and get support from a trained teen! https://teenlineonline.org/teentalkapp/


All relationships exist on a spectrum, from healthy to abusive to somewhere in between. Below, we outline behaviors that occur in healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships.

Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationship means that both you and your partner are:

  • Communicating: You talk openly about problems, listen to each other, and respect each other's opinions.
  • Respectful: You value each other as you are. You respect each other's emotional, digital and sexual boundaries.
  • Trusting: You believe what your partner has to say. You do not feel the need to "prove" each other's trustworthiness.
  • Honest: You are honest with each other, but can still keep some things private.
  • Equal: You make decisions together and hold each other to the same standards.
  • Enjoying personal time: You both can enjoy spending time apart, alone or with others. You respect each other's need for time apart.

Unhealthy Relationships

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if one or both partners is:

  • Not communicating: when problems arise, you fight or you don't discuss them at all.
  • Disrespectful: One or both partners is not considerate of the other's feelings and/or personal boundaries.
  • Not trusting: One partner doesn't believe what the other says, or feels entitled to invade their privacy.
  • Dishonest: One or both partners tells lies.
  • Trying to take control: One partner feels their desires and choices are more important.
  • Only spending time with your partner: Your partner's community is the only one you socialize in.

Abusive Relationships

Abuse is occurring in a relationship when one partner:

  • Communicates in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting or demeaning.
  • Disrespects the feelings, thoughts, decisions, opinions or physical safety of the other.
  • Physically hurts or injures the other partner by hitting, slapping, choking, pushing or shoving.
  • Blames the other partner for their harmful actions, makes excuses for abusive actions and/or minimizes the abusive behavior.
  • Controls and isolates the other partner by telling them what they wear, who they can hang out with, where they can go and/or what they can do.
  • Pressures or forces the other partner to do things they don't want to do; threatens, hurts or blackmails their partner if they resist or say no.