Benight's Math Classes

Fun Math Jokes

The Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: Give me a place to stand, and I can move the chicken across the road.

George Cantor: The chicken crossed the road diagonally.

Augustin Cauchy: Once the chicken crosses the road, he will integrate well with those on the other side.

Albert Einstein: Do not worry about your troubles with chickens, I can assure you that mine are greater.

Pierre de Fermat: I have found an admirable explanation of this, but the margin is too narrow to contain it.

Evariste Galois: He did it the night before.

Isaac Newton: If chickens have been able to cross the road, it is because they have stood on the shoulders of giants.

The Light Bulb

How many classical geometers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It can't be done with a straight edge and compass.

How many analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to prove existence, one to prove uniqueness, and one to derive a non-constructive algorithm to do it.

How many mathematical logicians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They can't do it, but they can prove that it can be done.

How many numerical analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

3.9967, after three iterations.

How many university math lecturers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to do it, and three to co-author the paper.