Managing Your Stress

What is stress? What causes stress?

What is the Difference between the Terms Stress and Stressors?

We all live with occasional stress. Since college students often feel even more stress than most people, it’s important to understand it and learn ways to deal with it so that it doesn’t disrupt your life.

• Stress is a natural response of the body and mind to a demand or challenge.

• Stressor is the thing that causes stress, captures our attention and causes a physical and emotional reaction.

Stressors include physical threats, such as a car we suddenly see coming at us too fast, and the stress reaction likely includes jumping out of the way—with our heart beating fast and other physical changes. Most of our stressors are not physical threats but situations or events like an upcoming test or an emotional break-up. Stressors also include long-lasting emotional and mental concerns such as worries about money or finding a job.

What Causes Stress?

Not all stressors are bad things. Exciting, positive things also cause a type of stress, called eustress. Falling in love, getting an unexpected sum of money, acing an exam you’d worried about—all of these are positive things that affect the body and mind in ways similar to negative stress: you can’t help thinking about it, you may lose your appetite and lie awake at night, and your routine life may be momentarily disrupted.

But the kind of stress that causes most trouble results from negative stressors. Life events that usually cause significant stress include the following:

• Serious illness or injury

• Serious illness, injury, or death of a family member or loved one

• Losing a job or sudden financial catastrophe

• Unwanted pregnancy

• Divorce or ending a long-term relationship (including parents’ divorce)

• Being arrested or convicted of a crime

• Being put on academic probation or suspended

Life events like these usually cause a lot of stress that may begin suddenly and disrupt one’s life in many ways. Fortunately, these stressors do not occur every day and eventually end—though they can be very severe and disruptive when experienced. Some major life stresses, such as having a parent or family member with a serious illness, can last a long time and may require professional help to cope with them.

Everyday kinds of stressors are far more common but can add up and produce as much stress as a major life event:

• Anxiety about not having enough time for classes, job, studies, and social life

• Worries about grades, an upcoming test, or an assignment

• Money concerns

• Conflict with a roommate, someone at work, or family member

• Anxiety or doubts about one’s future or difficulty choosing a major or career

• Frequent colds, allergy attacks, other continuing health issues

• Concerns about one’s appearance, weight, eating habits, and so on.

• Relationship tensions, poor social life, loneliness

• Time-consuming hassles such as a broken-down car or the need to find a new apartment

Take a moment and reflect on the list above. How many of these stressors have you experienced in the last month? The last year? Write down all the ones that you have experienced. How many stressors have you circled and written in? There is no magic number of stressors that an “average” or “normal” college student experiences—because everyone is unique. In addition, stressors come and go: the stress caused by a midterm exam tomorrow morning may be gone by noon, replaced by feeling good about how you did. Still, most college students are likely to circle about half the items on this list.

But it’s not the number of stressors that counts. You might have circled only one item on that list—but it could produce so much stress for you that you’re just as stressed out as someone else who circled all of them. The point of this exercise is to start by understanding what causes your own stress as a base for learning what to do about it.

In moderation, cortisol's function is a natural process and is perfectly normal and healthy. However, when chronic stress is experienced, the body makes more cortisol than it is able to release. High levels, or even chronic low-levels of cortisol in the body, can wear down the brain's ability to function properly by disrupting synapse regulations and can reduce the size of the brain. The effects of "chronic stress have a shrinking effect on the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for memory and learning" (Bernstein, 2016). In addition, elevated cortisol levels can have negative effects on the body as well.

What’s wrong with stress?

Physically, stress prepares us for action: the classic “fight-or-flight” reaction when confronted with a danger. Our heart is pumping fast, and we’re breathing faster to supply the muscles with energy to fight or flee. Many physical effects in the body prepare us for whatever actions we may need to take to survive a threat.

But what about nonphysical stressors, like worrying about grades? Are there any positive effects there? Imagine what life would feel like if you never had worries, never felt any stress at all. If you never worried about grades or doing well on a test, how much studying would you do for it? If you never thought at all about money, would you make an effort to save it or make it? Obviously, stress can be a good thing when it motivates us to do something, whether it's studying, work, resolving a conflict with another, and so on. So it’s not stress itself that’s negative—it’s unresolved or persistent stress that starts to have unhealthy effects.

Chronic (long-term) stress is associated with many physical changes and illnesses, including the following:

• Weakened immune system, making you more likely to catch a cold and to suffer from any illness longer

• More frequent digestive system problems, including constipation or diarrhea, ulcers, and indigestion

• Elevated blood pressure

• Increased risk of diabetes

• Muscle and back pain

• More frequent headaches, fatigue, and insomnia

• Greater risk of heart attack and other cardiovascular problems over the long term

Chronic or acute (intense short-term) stress also affects our minds and emotions in many ways:

• Difficulty thinking clearly or concentrating

• Poor memory

• More frequent negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, frustration, powerlessness, resentment, or nervousness—and a generally negative outlook on life

• Greater difficulty dealing with others because of irritability, anger, or avoidance

No wonder we view stress as such a negative thing! As much as we’d like to eliminate all stressors, however, it just can’t happen. Too many things in the real world cause stress and always will.

What are unhealthy responses to stress?

Since many stressors are unavoidable, the question is what to do about the resulting stress. A person can try to ignore or deny stress for a while, but then it keeps building and starts causing all those problems. So we have to do something.

Why not watch television or get a lot of sleep when you’re feeling stressed if that makes you feel better? While it may feel better temporarily to escape feelings of stress in those ways, ultimately they may cause more stress themselves. If you’re worried about grades and being too busy to study as much as you need to, then letting an hour or two slip by watching television will make you even more worried later because then you have even less time. Eating too much may make you sluggish and less able to focus, and if you’re trying to lose weight, you’ll now feel just that much more stressed by what you’ve done. Alcohol, caffeine, smoking, and drugs all generally increase one’s stress over time. Complaining to friends? Over time, your friends will tire of hearing it or tire of arguing with you because a complaining person isn’t much fun to be around. So eventually you may find yourself even more alone and stressed.

Yet there is a bright side: there are lots of very positive ways to cope with stress that will also improve your health, make it easier to concentrate on your studies, and make you a happier person overall.

How can you cope with internal and external stressors?

External Stressors

Stressors can be external (like bad job hours or not having enough money) or internal, originating in your attitudes and thoughts. You may be able to eliminate many external stressors. Talk to your boss about changing your work hours. If you have money problems, work on a budget you can live with, look for a new job, or reduce your expenses by finding a cheaper apartment, selling your car, and using public transportation.

What about other external stressors? Taking so many classes that you don’t have the time to study for all of them? Keep working on your time management skills. Schedule your days carefully and stick to the schedule. Take fewer classes next term if necessary. What else can you do to eliminate external stressors? Change apartments, get a new roommate, find better child care—consider all your options. And don’t hesitate to talk things over with a college counselor, who may offer other solutions.

Internal Stressors

Internal stressors, however, are often not easily resolved. Examples include unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, worries, uncertainties, low self esteem and fears. We can’t make all stressors go away, but we can learn how to cope so that we don’t feel so stressed out most of the time. We can take control of our lives. We can find healthy coping strategies and will discuss strategies in the next section.

What are techniques to conquer stress?

There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to identify activities to combat stress beyond having a sense of control and establishing support networks.

• First, find activities to counter the stress response by using a combination of approaches that elicit the relaxation response. This technique combines relaxation with meditation. These techniques can include yoga, meditation, deep abdominal breathing, visualization, progressive relaxation, and tai chi. The relaxation response approach is conceptualized as a general approach to stress reduction that reduces sympathetic arousal, and it has been used effectively to treat people with high blood pressure.[3]

• Second, build an exercise routine into your weekly schedule. A common technique people use to combat stress is exercise.[4] It is well-established that exercise, both of long (aerobic) and short (anaerobic) duration, is beneficial for both physical and mental health.[5] There is considerable evidence that physically fit individuals are more resistant to the adverse effects of stress and recover more quickly from stress than less physically fit individuals.

• And third, re-label your negative emotions with positive ones through positive self-talk and optimism." Each of us has a set of messages that play over and over in our minds. This internal dialogue, or personal commentary, frames our reactions to life and its circumstances. One of the ways to recognize, promote, and sustain optimism, hope, and joy is to intentionally fill our thoughts with positive self-talk".[6]

How can you combat stress with mindfulness and optimism?

There are very solid, research-based tools for dealing with the daily ups and downs. Two of the most powerful tools I use most frequently for managing stress are both simple and free. Both are cultivated through practice.

Reframing

The first tool is re-framing. Re-framing is a matter of mindset. No matter what is happening to you, you have a choice in how you respond to it. You can let “it” ruin your day, or you can figure out how to best deal with the situation and move on. So in other words, you can choose to “awfulize” the situation, and make myself and those around me have a no good, very bad day, or you can find a solution to take myself out of the situation. You always have a choice. Victor Frankel survived the most heinous Nazi concentration camp by using the power of re-framing to survive the ordeal. Everything, including his clothing and his dignity, was stripped away, and yet he chooses to steadfastly cling to the one thing that could not be taken from him- his attitude. He said: “Each situation has a good side and a bad side. Each moment you decide."

If you are a negative thinker, use this opportunity to begin to become consciously aware of your thought/perception patterns. Once you become more aware, you can make changes that will help you manage your thought process, thus changing your intentions, attitudes, and outcomes to a more positive lifestyle.

Rational Optimism

What do you think of when you hear the word optimism? Does it conjure up rainbows and unicorns? Or what about the time old quest, are you a "glass-half-empty or half-full" kind of person? Optimism is actually a trait and a skill that can be learned. The health benefits of optimism have been well established and substantial. Optimism has been proven to improve the immune system, prevent chronic illness and help people cope with difficult and traumatic events.[8]

Psychologist Martin Seligman, commonly known as the founder of positive psychology, defines optimism as "reacting to problems with a sense with confidence and high personal ability." This is not to be mistaken for "blinding optimism" or a "Pollyanna" pop psychology version of optimism, where an individual exclusively chooses to look on the bright side of life with all events and sweeps harsh realities under the rug.

In fact, the difference between false optimism and rational optimism can be summed up in the following two scenarios:

1) "There's nothing to be concerned about, everything will just work itself out," and

2) "We've got a real messy situation here, and things don't look too good, but if we approach this step by step, we can probably figure something out."

While the second scenario still addresses and acknowledges the difficulties of the situation, it also provides a glimmer of hope that things can be resolved.

Why does optimism matter to college students?

Well, it is likely that as a college student you will encounter many challenges, roadblocks, and obstacles. While they will be different and unique to each student, the approach can be similar. For instance, imagine the two student situations below and try to see which response you would give if this were your situation.

Imagine two students receive an F on an important exam.

1. Student A Response: "Ugh, I'm such a failure! I always suck at math and no matter how hard I try I still get an F. How am I going to get a college degree if I can't even pass this math class?"

2. Student B Response: "Yikes, this test was difficult. Oh well, it was just one test in one class and I have several more opportunities to do better on my future exams. This isn't representative of me as student overall since I tend to do well on other subjects, I just need to work on a different approach to my math exams."

Did you notice the difference between the two student responses? Which is most like how you might respond you were in a similar situation? Cognitive learning theorists have identified that optimists and pessimist process information differently. In addition, optimists are less likely to give into helplessness even when they encounter several negative events.

"The optimist believes that bad events have specific causes, while good events will enhance everything he does; the pessimist believes that bad events have universal causes and that good events are caused by specific factors."

There are a couple of key factors to keep in mind throughout your college experience. It is VERY important to pay attention to the way you think about your abilities, experiences, and feelings. Also, it will be crucial that you take the time to assess your habits, goals and thinking about your experiences.

• Learned Helplessness is the given up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn't matter.

• Explanatory Style is the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen.

• Learned Optimism is the power of "non-negative thinking" using the skills of changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the losses and setback of life. Using learned optimism you can change your explanatory style to resist helplessness by:

  • understanding that the causes of bad events may be temporary;

  • realizing that your problems in one area aren't universal;

  • affirming that bad events aren't totally your fault.

Practicing the thinking skills of learned optimism can give you the energy to keep on succeeding at life goals because you know you can solve temporary problems in creative ways. "You can learn to be more productive and less depressed, more hopeful and less discouraged, to achieve more successes than failures. Learned optimism allows you to change your self-talk and beliefs so you can face adversity in responsible and realistic ways. Your explanatory style is not fixed and unchangeable. You can gain a set of skills which free you from habitual pessimism and allows you to use optimism when you choose".[9]

An optimistic explanatory style stops helplessness, whereas a pessimistic explanatory style spreads helplessness. Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized when you encounter the everyday setbacks as well as momentous defeats.

Your habitual way of explaining negative events that happen in your, or your explanatory style, is more than just the negative things you say aloud. It is a habit of thought, learned from your formative years, and can provide some insight as to whether you think you are deserving and valuable, or worthless and hopeless. It is an indicator of whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.[10]

What is mindfulness? How can it help with stress?

Mindfulness is paying attention to things without being judgmental about them. If you take a look inside your head, you have all kinds of thoughts about everything and not a lot of those thoughts are actually productive. Many of us are guilty, especially the smart and the successful, of constantly thinking. I think we are addicted to thinking. Part of the reason is education implicitly tells us the best solutions come when you think hard and long about a problem. In general, that’s maybe a good rule, but sometimes it’s not. In many occasions not thinking too much is going to put you in a better position to arrive at a solution. These are contexts that have to do with emotions. That ability to switch your mind off comes in really handy not just in making good decisions, but also in being happier.

Choosing to be mindful is about awareness. By this, I mean really aware of everything going on around you! Mindfulness can be thought of as a moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a specific way that is, in the present moment, and as non-reactively, as non-judgmentally, and as openheartedly as possible. Rather than allowing ourselves to be distracted by technology, television, or a myriad of other things, we slow down and take in everything being fully present. Many of those who practice mindfulness call the constant ricocheting of our attention monkey mind. I find it amusing that many people to call it multi-tasking. Let’s stop fooling ourselves, we cannot multi-task, only shift our attention from one thing to another and not give either task the focus and attention it deserves to get it done well. I hope you enjoy these new skills for dealing with stress.

What are resources at Aims Community College that can help?

Aims Counseling Services - https://www.aims.edu/departments/counseling-services

• You can receive free, confidential counseling sessions with a licensed counselor. This can be for help with stress management, anxiety, life transitions, coping strategies, etc. Call 970-339-6255 or email Counseling@aims.edu to make an appointment.

Aims Coordinated Assistance and Resource Education (CARE) - https://www.aims.edu/resource-library/care-report

• You can refer yourself or another student to get connected to appropriate campus and community resources. Areas of concern might be housing related, financial hardships, mental health, general wellness, or substance abuse. Filling out the CARE report will prompt the Aims CARE team to assess the situation and reach out to the student.

TalkCampus - https://www.talkcampus.io/sign-up

• This is an app-based, anonymous, peer to peer (rather than professionals), mental health support network for students to connect with other students worldwide. It's free to Aims students and provides instant support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. *Make sure to use your Aims email address to sign up. Once you sign up, it will unlock the app to you.

You@Aims - https://you.aims.edu/

• This is a web-based mental health and well-being resource bank geared towards students. It's confidential, and offers personalized and actionable tools that help foster academic success, promote well-being and prevent suicide. It is free to use, just use your Aims email address to set up a profile.

Help in Crisis (For Yourself or Others)

• For serious or life-threatening emergencies, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

• Colorado Crisis Services - Call the hotline at: 1-844-493-8255 or text “TALK” to 38255

• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - Call or text 988, 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress and prevention/crisis resources for you or your loved ones

• North Range Behavioral Health - (970) 347-2120 (option 2 for support); Walk-in at 928 12th Street Greeley