Banned

I know I will be accused of posting something irrelevant to OSW. But it really isn't. Hear me out. I used to drive two Ford trucks and a Ford sedan. Needless to say, I was (and still am) a fan of Ford. Then, I traded in my big truck for a Chevy. I love my Chevy, I brag about my Chevy, and I recommend my Chevy to others. I still have a Ford truck, but a regular one, not a big one. The big one turned out to be an actual lemon. If I had read the reviews for that year, I would have known. And I tell people to avoid that truck in the years where that engine was used.

But what is the most interesting is what DIDN'T happen.

Ford didn't BAN me from their dealerships or buying another Ford. They didn't badmouth me in their dealership and corporate meetings, truth or lies. They didn't THREATEN me. They didn't STALK me. They didn't tell LIES about me. And they didn't contact Suburu, Nissan, and others and tell them not to sell to me.

And as a consequence, I still refer people to Ford when it is appropriate. For instance, for a standard pickup, I refer people to the F150. It's a GREAT truck; FAR superior to the Chevy Silverado 1500.

Chevy won't take away my 3500 for saying that publicly. They won't ban me from their dealerships or purchasing. They won't do any of the nasty things I described. Those things we see among some grid owners. Many grid owners.

For me, it is the distinction between having an OpenSim grid as a hobby or a business. IMO, and it is from someone who had their own business (not grid) for over 32 years, a hobbyist has their ego tied up in the matter. You will hear them say "MY grid", "MY event", "MY (community) meeting." And they MEAN it that way. There are no customers; there are only people that either bend to their whims and moods, or people who are not welcome. And when they claim that ad hoc "town halls" or "grid meetings" are "mandatory." I don't WORK for them; nothing is MANDATORY. And I require APPOINTMENTS that go on my CALENDAR. Just as I would expect to do for a grid owner if I need a meeting with them.

I PAY significant money to be on a grid. It's not the largest amount of money, but it is significant. I am not a 1x1 gal. Ultimately, my regions are an investment; in OS, they are just not an investment I have capitalized on....YET. Regardless, they are a personal investment.

I am loud and proud about being at Wolf Territories. Lone can verify that for months before I came there, I talked to him extensively about this issue. My criteria for the grid on which I reside: Tech and customer service are #1; community is important but secondary. I love Lone Wolf, I am committed to his success for both personal and business reasons. I am truly proud to call him a friend. AND he is a good business person, a genius programmer / dev, and provides STELLAR customer service.

If things ever changed, and I saw fit the leave the grid, I feel certain he would treat me the way I have seen him treat so many others: like customers, letting them know that they are welcome back in the future, trying to help them have a positive transition. And in the nearly year and a half I have been here, I have seen far more people return that left before I got there, than leave while I was there.

I know many many people who are banned from other grids based on the accusation of griefing. Griefing, as it has been defined to me, constitutes intentional physical harm to a grid. However, we rarely see people banned for this. We mainly see people banned over opinions, ideologies, and rumors. I have seen people DOXED by grid owners. The underlying current is that grid owners are celebrities and little gods, and that we are the peasants who should be honored to give them our money, walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them, and going through machinations to find out what the rules actually ARE.

I won't do this - walking on eggshells, twisting and turning to be a mind reader, standardize my behavior based on rumors and hearsay, or tolerate being accused and confronted regarding things that either didn't happen or having nothing to do with the grid. And I am very clear up front regarding business relationships and throughout the relationship. And I don't flounce. I simply go. And I have the right to flounce as well, if the situation warrants it. I have been screamed and cursed at in a public forum, on another grid, and nothing done about it. I have seen many many people banned from other grids for voicing differences of opinions with grid owners or their personal friends, for sharing a negative story, for being active on other grids, for standing up to bullies, etc. I have seen them stalked and harassed. I will likely be banned from grids for posting this.

There are ABSOLUTELY TIMES to ban people from the grid. 100%! Those rules should be clear and UNEXCEPTIONAL. If that happens due to something unforeseen or unexpected, then new rules need to be clarified and implemented. And people need to be able to choose to go or stay without consequence. And I ask you, where are the grids that make it explicit before you join? Not agreeing with the grid owner results in a ban! Upsetting the grid owners' friend results in a BAN! Being perceived as flirting with the grid owner's partner results in a ban! Saying something negative about the grid results in a ban! Participating on other grids results in a BAN!

How many people would join that grid if those rules were explicit in the TOS?

If people share something that HAPPENED, and it is accurate; the grid owners need to suck it up, own it, live with it, or change it. It's easy. For instance, if you have a cake business, and you refuse to make gay wedding cakes, and you ban gay people from your business; you need to OWN that. And suffer the consequences for that decision. And changing the goal posts continually regarding these matters, straight up lying about them, or having "unspoken" rules is GASLIGHTING and BULLYING.

Someone saying something negative about you or your grid may HURT YOUR FEELINGS, but it isn't griefing. If it is libel or slander, then treat it like a legal matter. And keep in mind that it works both ways; you may also be charged with slander, libel, and/or criminal liability for false criminal accusations. The difference between the hobbyist and the professional is NOT whether they take money; it is that the business is above their feelings.

Make no mistake; I will ban someone from my regions for annoying me should I choose. I am not running a business per se and no one pays me to be there. And so far, I haven't done that. But I reserve that right. The exception is for child avies. Child avies are not allowed. And I am willing to suffer the badmouthing for doing that. Bottom line: my regions are my haven; if I don't want to see you there, I won't. And I am not the grid owner or taking your money.

I would caution you that, when you look at investing your time and money, distinguish between the ego-driven grids and the business grids. Especially if you are providing something you want people to be able to enjoy. The choice is yours.