Phil Swift


Phil Swift is the spokesman for the Flex Seal family of products. He has an energetic personality and people generally agree that he's very likable.


Phil was born in the heart of a dying star in the Andromeda galaxy during the creation of the Milky Way. The dense elements he was born in gave his titanium-hard muscles. After falling to earth on August 6, 1944, his body completely leveled Hiroshima, Japan just moments before the nuclear bomb was dropped. He fought in Vietnam, earning the nickname "Indestructable Phil" for his 100,000 plus confirmed kills with little more than his bare hands. He is best known for his catchphrase, "That's a lotta damage" after accidentally burning down a Vietnam village in a fit of rage. While in Vietnam, he created a super-strong adhesive with a mixture of his own celestial blood and tree sap. His invention was widely used to treat severed arteries. Recently, he has begun marketing his invention. He is well known for his ads, in which his PTSD causes him to slaughter buckets and boats by channeling the power of hell. This is why many consider him to be the supreme leader of the universe, with power beyond any humans imagination.

Flex Seal and Related Works

Phil is most famously known for his advertisements of the products known as but not limited to: Flex Seal, Flex Tape, Flex Shot, etc.

All these products, also known as the Flex Seal Family of Products, were gifts from the heavens, so we would be able to coat, seal and stop leaks fast. Foolish mortals like us are not capable of making any product close to the power of Flex Seal, nor any other Flex Seal product. Not even the great Nacho Chez Gaming can summon something as great as this.

Flex Seal is a revolutionary, life-saving product, capable of coating, sealing and stopping leaks fast. Some say it protected America from Logan Paul's suicide video. Flex Seal is a liquid rubber in a can, capable of sleeping into cracks and holes, and it dries to a water-tight, flexible, rubberized coating. One simple shot of Flex Seal will instantly patch up any hole, immediately stopping leaks fast (multiple coats may need to be used). Two shots can knock out any bullies you want that hate on your minecraft lets play videos. Its like a handyman in a can, capable of fixing destroyed buckets, and preventing leaks.

Flex Tape is a super strong waterproof tape that can instantly patch, bond, seal and repair. Flex Tape is no ordinary tape. It's triple thiccc adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Flex Tape's powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas without draining them. Flex Tape is S U P E R S T R O N G, and once it's on, it holds on tight. Tighter than my girlfriend in LA's ass. Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holds. Flex Tape is such an incredibly useful product, that Phil sawed a boat in half and repaired it with only Flex Tape. Nothing short of a revolutionary product sent by the gods of Athens.

Flex Spray is a lot like the previously mentioned Flex Seal. What differentiates this product from Flex Seal is the Spray is like normal Spray paint, and can easily spread out to take up more space. You can create submarines out of cars ayylmao.

Flex Seal Color is a liquid rubber in a can, capable of seeping into cracks and holes, and it dries to a water-tight, flexible, rubberized coating, a lot like the aforementioned Flex Seal. The difference between this and the original Flex Seal is that this comes in 9 different colors, which can be used to spray on any surface. The color in Flex Seal Color is shown to be even more effective than spray paint when it comes to spraying on walls and other surfaces. Flex Seal Color's least popular color is black and most popular is white.

Flex Seal Clear has the same concept as both Flex Seal and Flex Seal Color, but rather than being noticeable to the human eye, it is hidden from view, and hidden for if you want the appearance of the Flex Seal to be hidden. This is done using the Phil Swift brand warp star which can teleport the seal away from the naked eye and dispose of it in cold cold vacuum of space, creating an invisible flex product.

Flex Shot is a lot like Flex Seal, but Flex Shot will fill larger holes and can be used as a caulking, where as Flex Seal is sprayed on and can cover a larger surface to make it completely waterproof. You may need several coats of Flex Seal to make the surface completely waterproof, but Flex Shot is a one time rubber bead that can be built up. This should make Flex Shot the leader of the Flex Seal family of products, but falls behind to Flex Seal, due to branding, and being the original. This makes Flex Shot one of the most underrated Flex Seal products.

With revolutionary products like these, only a true god has what it takes to advertise said products to the masses, and that role was given to the almighty Phil Swift, supreme leader Snoke: master of the universe.