Reason for Hope

Building a meaningful life after the betrayal of abuse is work. Even more so when the betrayal involved spiritual or sexual abuse or violence in childhood, in a relationship or in a group. I have worked with more than 400 survivors of abusive groups or cults and relationships who have found their way back to real life. With the right tools, you can do it too.

While living in an intense or abusive group or relationship, you get used to "putting up" with considerable discomfort and reduced expectations of life. After leaving, there is a feeling you have missed the best life has to offer and you have only yourself to blame. There is increased risk that the next group or relationship will also be manipulative, dissatisfying or hurtful. Often the risk seems too great and you settle for a life essentially alone and unhappy.

Getting back on track is not easy, but it can be much less difficult with the right tools. You don't need someone telling you what to do. You've been there and done that. You may feel that the control others may have exercised was primarily over your mind. Some feel they have been exposed to a kind of "brainwashing."

I find most people know what they need to recover and find meaning in life and have ample resources to pursue it. It's just that those resources are held back by misunderstanding about what happened in the group or relationship and how it continues to affect you now.

The group may have used the Bible, the Koran, or other ancient literature to establish its credibility. It may have twisted business or psychological principles to control. If the problem was centered around family or relationships, basic principles of living together and communicating were twisted so that others make their way through life by taking advantage of your idealism, energy and love.

After over 25 years of helping people who have left controlling groups or relationships, I have developed tools that help you take back these things no matter what your situation, or even where you live.

The Tools