We were married fifteen years and I was miserable because of my husband's irresponsible financial habits and believing he was placing his family before me. The bitterness grew in me over the years and I finally thought I had enough. He attended church but I did not. Then I met a man. I was blinded and could not see the trap set for me and what this would do to my family. This led to a divorce and the divorce then led me to seek God. 

I began to attend T.D. Jake's Church - Potter's House here in Dallas, which was recommended by my best friend because she explained that this church teaches about women issues. She was right. I began to learn the tricks of Satan. He knew my weakness and feelings of lack of attention from my husband. This "new" man was a wolf in sheep's clothing—always giving me compliments (something my husband never did). He dressed and appeared very professional and responsible. Thankfully God never left me as He tells us in His Word during this time. 

I began to pray for my marriage and stand on His promises of restoration I found by coming to RMI. It was a battle because during this time span of over a year my husband left the church and went into the world due to being so hurt by what I'd done. I hungered for the Word and began to read the Bible and different books about spiritual warfare.

I learned that we live by faith, not by sight. If anyone would have seen how bad things were between my husband and I, they would never believe how we are today!! We are now attending church together with our two sons. The LORD taught me to be still and know that He is God because I am a control freak and I try to fix everything myself, which led to more issues that made things worse.

There were nights that I cried out because I felt desperate, sometimes suicidal thoughts would enter my mind but then I would sense my Heavenly Husband next to me, and I would suddenly feel this peace come over my entire body and I would calm down. I had so many questions and when I would turn on the TV or radio, open a book or hear from a friend, the answer would come, very specific to my question at the time which was His way of speaking to me. 

I was scheduled to go to court for the divorce and my mother-in-law was praying that the "doors to the case be shut." I still went out of anger towards my husband. But even with the wrong attitude, He was faithful and did the impossible. First the judge was not there, she was out of town and no one told us. Second, my name was not on the new docket of cases to be heard that day. Third, my lawyer came in saying, "We have a problem." The court stamped the wrong Child Support case on the forms. Fourth, the replacement judge we found said, "I won't touch that," because the paperwork was not in order.

We finally found a judge to swear me in but when it was over my lawyer and I stopped and sat down. I asked him, "I'm confused, am I divorced or not?" He said, "Put it this way, I would not run off and get married!" Out of a courthouse full of people that went for a divorce; I left there still married! God finally did allow the divorce to go through several months later due to the hardness of my heart because that is what I needed and He knew it.

The turning point, in the end, was when I finally stopped trying to fix the situation myself and stopped trying to make my husband do what I said and wanted. I finally and completely let it go, which is what RMI says to do but so few of us do it, we tell ourselves and try to convince others but until we do, things keep getting worse. This gave me time to just concentrate on learning the Word, getting closer to my HH and that's when things finally began to change permanently. I had peace and I would simply ask God to give my husband a new heart because by this time his heart was hardened completely towards me. Yet after only a couple of months, he started coming over to our house, first to fix things around the house here and there, and then staying longer all with me not having to try to make it happen. 

My mother-in-law would tell me to ASK God to restore my marriage but I was stubborn at times and I would say, "God knows my heart." She said to ask Him when He would restore my marriage, so I finally let my pride go and did it as she asked. That night I had a dream, mind you it was that very same night. It was about a date on a calendar. It was only a couple of weeks from that night and I thought surely it would take God a couple of years not weeks. But it did happen! And though there was still a spiritual battle after he came home, which again RMI tells us will happen and why we need to make sure where our loyalty lies, with Him, it was still difficult. It took almost a year or more of God creating a new heart in my husband, that hardened towards me for good reason, and also for me to see the things that He still needed to change in me. 

Believe it or not, this year we will celebrate our 20th anniversary and it's been a full five years of restoration, and things just keep getting better and better!! I continuing to put Him first, go to Him to fix everything and spend a lot of time in His Word daily, reading my Bible as my daily map. I now attend a women’s prayer group in my area, praying for restored marriages and lives to be changed as He's changed mine. And my husband also attends his own prayer meetings and Bible studies. Now I know that I have to stay in the Word; I want to stay in the Word in order to keep my mind renewed, refreshed and on the right track!!

~ Cynthia in Texas, Restored!!!



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