“Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” (Psalm 66: 16-20, NIV).

Dear sister, I truly am “the least of all these” and yet GOD saw fit to forgive me and give me another chance! “Oh Lord, You took up my case; You redeemed my life” (Lamentations 3:58 NIV). After a series of marriages in my youth, I turned to JESUS as my Savior, finally making HIM the LORD of my life and stayed alone (but not alone!) for almost 15 years. In many ways this was the best 15 years of my life, I used to tell HIM and others “my life is almost perfect!”

Meanwhile, I felt HIM talking to me about a new relationship. Although I resisted at first in the flesh, in time HE did bring it, and my husband and I met at a bible study. Because of my past, I asked the LORD for extraordinary confirmation and HE brought minis people from another country to our church. They prophesied over us “GOD brought you together for a ministry” and follow-up confirmation.

So I trusted GOD and said Yes. My children’s father has been dead many years and I did encourage my husband to try “everything he could” to be restore with the mother of his children, though never married, who had left him for OM (his first wife had died). He did ask her about this on more than one occasion, over several months, but she would have none of it. So trusting GOD, we were married. Almost immediately after our wedding, (a few days into the honeymoon) the enemy began working to destroy “the plans” our GOD had for us.

It was very painful as my husband still had very deep hurts, trauma and fears from his whole life. At this time he had been back in church for about three years. He told everyone that he had prayed for a Christian wife and had “got one in spades!” and would laugh. He wasn’t prepared for how GOD answered that prayer though. That was the good part. However, I did NOT know how to deal with all of this and though, rarely “returned evil for evil” I reacted to everything wrong, protesting and asking questions. I was the Christian wife that my husband prayed for, but I had a LOT to learn and much of my own healing! I also would attempt to lead and teach (when he asked me,) and go to church without him—WRONG! (As I later found out through RMI.) Anyway, the crisis peaked and soon he wanted a divorce. 
  
However, GOD was good enough to warn me the day before. I was driving to a “prayers for the nation” meeting with the ladies intercessory group when we stopped chatting and our leader said that GOD told her I was with them so they could pray for me. She lead us in 2 Corinthians 10:4 (casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of GOD and taking my husbands’ every thought captive” she did not even know about our situation!)  After the prayer meeting, she prophesied that my husband would come back to the LORD and serve HIM and right then another lady gave me the Restore Ministries website! I was so grateful to GOD that HE had heard my cries and would speak to me this way that I immediately started fasting that night and told HIM I would “fast for as long as it took.” Also that night, I read the Restore pages enough to know what to do and not do the next day, and ordered the materials. “Therefore also now, says the Lord, turn and keep on coming to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning [until every hindrance is removed and the broken fellowship is restored]” Joel 2:12 (AMB).

The next afternoon my husband said “I’m filing for divorce tomorrow.” Beloved, I was already prepared!! When he asked me for a response, I said, “Well, that’s not what I want but I won’t stand in your way,” along with staying “quiet and gentle.” He did keep the lawyer appointment the next day (a Friday) and came home quiet. I confess I was “hiding out” from the sheriff (d-papers) all weekend, as my husband stayed away for most of it. Then on Sunday, he told me that he had not gone through with it, that “it just didn’t feel right!” I just agreed. He also spoke softly a profound truth: “Wow, GOD sure can change hearts” in an almost whimsical manner. I should have just believed at that point, but I also confess that I checked our bank balance online and saw the check to the lawyer for $3500. After he told me he cancelled it, I continued fasting and staying in the “quiet and gentle spirit” and so on from what I had learned from RMI by that time but unfortunately, still kept checking the balance and it was not refunded. 
 
I was really stressing this, but continued the extended fast while crying out to the LORD alone, and reading the Word and Restore materials. I checked one last time (11 days after the fast began), which was a Monday and still no returned check. My husband came back from town and we were sitting on the sofa holding hands (GOD was already honoring my obedience!). I just listened to him talk but prayed inside “LORD, I am about to jump out of my skin!" and other such pleas. How can I find out about the lawyer without questioning my husband? (I didn’t want him to FEEL doubted) Please give me YOUR question for him.”  So, the LORD had me ask him, “So, Honey, how are things today?” My husband responded, “Well, I went this morning and got my money back from the lawyer if that says anything.” I just nodded and smiled and inside was SHOUTING TO THE LORD!! “Blessed are the people of whom this is true; blessed are the people whose GOD is the LORD!” (Psalm 144: 15)

The Restore your Marriage book and Facing Divorce helped me see what the enemy was up to, how I had sinned and how to “fight in the spirit.” I am just starting to delve farther into A Wise Woman, wow, what an excellent resource for all women! Everything I have read, seen and heard has helped me, RMI, GOD has woven your materials together as a beautiful tapestry!

GOD has finally gotten through to me that HE wants me to just trust HIM, a Word that HE had given me at a prophesy service two years before, HE taught me that HE is listening (as evidenced by the prayers from my Sisters in the car that day and many other ways) and that HE has much for me to learn, as I found out from this precious ministry. GOD is showing me that HE is faithful and can be trusted, even when “the will of man” is contrary to my prayers. I wish I could say that I fully trust HIM now, as I should. So I continue to pray that HE “will complete the work” HE has started in me, for HIS glory!  Also, I DO THANK HIM for this trial as GOD has brought me to FULL repentance before HIM for all the sins of my past (which are “ever before me”) and I thank HIM for HIS great Mercy! Before this trial I had not really done this, as I should. I believe HE needed me to do this before HE could really use me in HIS ministry and used this current spiritual crisis to bring me to my knees.

GOD really used the Restore principles to change me. “The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death” (Proverbs 13:14 NIV); “Let others praise you”, Erin!  I thought I was “ok” because I was not returning evil. But GOD used you to show me that this was just a minimum effort! This is the world’s minimum standard, and I had bought it “hook, line, and sinker” and it nearly sunk my marriage! I have learned that I must be quiet and gentle instead of reacting (something I still struggle with when the enemy catches me ‘off-guard’), wait for my husband to lead, and to cry out to “HIM alone” when I’m hurting and also to ask HIM for every need I have. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!

Now when my husband asks me about a biblical principle, I just smile and shrug. If he presses, I may say for example: "Charles Stanley says this or Joyce Meyer (he loves her!) says that, but what do you think?" The day when my precious husband will teach me from the Word of GOD is something I long for too! Another thing I have learned is that my protesting was the same as complaining! ”Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14 NIV). Also, I now usually ask GOD when I need or even want something and you know what?! HE brings it, often through my husband! Even a beautiful birthday present six months “late” when I did not complain to my husband about no gift or card! LISTEN—GOD HEARS YOU AND CARES—so don't talk to anyone else, speak to Him about all your needs!!

I have also learned to bind scriptures to myself and my husband (i.e. casting down imaginations from BOTH of us). GOD has also led me do a really sweet thing in speaking Judges 6:12b to my husband when he leaves the house: “The LORD is with you mighty warrior.” He loves it! To GOD be the glory!!

And last “but not least” I repented before a small group church family for the things I had “uncovered” and asked them to believe with me for restoration. I no longer share with them any more about my husband. I’m sure there are many more things GOD taught me from RMI and from HIS word and I pray HE will continue to teach me for the rest of my life.

Although the divorce was cancelled, things did not start to get better for quite a while! But with GOD’S help, I continued fasting, praying, and applying the principles and seeking GOD and HIS Word. Sometimes I wanted to “bail out” but HE would bring scriptures to my mind and heart just in time! The story of Jehoshaphat got me on my face in worship, and other times, standing to praise HIM, BEFORE the victory (2 Chronicles 20:15-24). This is where an enemy much too strong for King Jehoshaphat to triumph over was coming to conquer the villages and it was prophesied to him “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” Then Jehoshaphat took his BATTLE POSITION on his face before the LORD and he and many in Judah and Jerusalem “fell down in worship” while some “stood up and praised the LORD.” (The LORD had told me years before that HALLELUJAH is our battle cry!) Then, they gave THANKS to the LORD and proclaimed, “His love endures forever."

When they did this, “the LORD set ambushes” against the enemy and they turned on themselves. When everyone looked, all in the enemy camp were dead.  Beloved, ALL they had to do was acknowledge that “the battle is the LORD’S,” get on their faces in worship, stand on their feet in praise and thank HIM! The LORD did ALL the rest! HALLELUJAH TO THE LIVING GOD!!

Other scriptures I hung on to:

Psalms! (Erin is so right about these!) My favorites are: Psalms 9:1, 9-10; 27:13-14; 32:7-8; 33:4-11; 35:22; 100:1-5; 138:3, 6-8; 143:8-10; 144:7-8,15; 146:2 and 150. Also Proverbs, 9:7; 12:15-16; 13:3, 10; 14:1, 12, 15, 27; 15:1, 31; 16:2, 9, 24; 17:9, 22, 28; 18:10, 12, 21; 19:11, 21; 20:22, 24; 21:1-3, 30; 22:9, 11, 17-19; 23:18, 26; 24:3-4, 17-18, 29; 25:21-22; 26:11; 27:17; 28:13; and of course, 31:10-31. Look them up, copy them, mark your Bible and renew your mind with them.

Others verses He gave to me:

*Whenever I began to grow tired of constantly following the principles (yes, I did): ”And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9 KJV)

*Whenever the enemy tried to trap me in fear: “For I am the LORD your GOD, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13 NIV) ”You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance (Psalm 332: 7 NIV).

*And, when in the fire (Daniel 3: 16-18) We must NOT bow to fear!

*This one came to me when I had no hope at all in the natural: “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. (Romans 12:12 NLT)

*When I became willing to accept whatever GOD wanted: “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27: 13-14 NIV)

*This one helped me stay when I wanted to bolt: “ So don’t throw it all away now. You were sure of yourselves then. It’s still a sure thing!  But you need to stick it out, staying with God’s Plan so you’ll be there for the promised completion. It won’t be long now, He’s on the way: He’ll show up most any minute. But anyone who is right with me thrives on loyal trust; if he cuts and runs, I won’t be very happy.” (Hebrews 10: 35-38 The Message Bible)

And then, when I was questioning that I hadn’t heard GOD correctly, that all the prophecies had been wrong, HE gave me a word: “GOD wants you to know that HE is proud of you, of the stand you have taken, HE sees every effort you make, no matter how small and HE takes note of it. HE says you WILL reap a harvest if you faint not.”

At every turn, there were promises from HIM, some from the Word, and some from RMI praise reports. Once, as I prayed about whether GOD wanted me to keep a lawyer appointment (that my Pastor had advised, just for my “protection”, though he would have admonished me for initiating a divorce) I asked GOD for a sign if HE did not want me to keep it. I opened up the RMI website and clicked on praise reports: It was a praise report that I had sent in a couple of weeks before! I said, “Ok GOD, I get it!” I called at once and cancelled. THANK YOU JESUS!

One morning right before my breakthrough, the LORD also gave me a picture of the Passover, where the Israelites painted their doorsteps with blood so the LORD would recognize HIS own and “Passover” their houses with the destruction HE was bringing. Remember the LORD told the Israelites to paint their doorposts with the blood of a lamb to be a sign to pass over the houses of the faithful? Exodus 12:13 says “The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are; and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt.”

Then, of course, our LORD sacrificed HIMSELF as the ULTIMATE LAMB! First Corinthians 5:7b says “For Christ, our Passover Lamb has been sacrificed.” First Peter 1:19 says “But with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” I have learned that anointing oil (oil blessed and prayed over) that we use to pray for the sick, etc. represents the blood of JESUS. So the next thing HE showed me was to anoint my doorpost with oil (representing the Blood) and pray for the destruction of divorce to pass over our home. This was soon after I had "given up" in the flesh (see below).

There have honestly been many “turning points” in this journey. Most I mentioned, like scriptures, along with learning the RMI principles all helped me to “turn.” It wasn’t until I really of gave up (inside) on my marriage at some point and wanted it to be just us, the Lord and me again, while I continued to fast and pray, but for other people's marriages and not mine. That's when I began to see the “turning” in my husband. While I was busy praying for my Sisters’ marriages, GOD was busy at work in mine!

I wish I could say that our restoration was “sudden and complete” but even after restoration it continues to be a difficult process. However, when I read Erin’s description, just now, that “if your spouse is home and OW or OM is out of the picture then you are restored" and "when the enemy will come against you even stronger" is when I decided to submit my testimony out of obedience. I can also say honestly and without reservation that GOD HIMSELF has answered my prayers that I He gave me long ago. HOW I PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME! I do greatly miss the “fellowship of believers” but I know GOD will lead my husband to a church of HIS choosing since I let go of my church. Thank You Lord! So you see that GOD loves and cares for even “the least of these” HIS children and being “no respecter of persons” HE will restore your marriage too. ”Be cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder” (Romans 12:12 MSB).

GOD is so faithful Sisters and Brothers! All the things that I had given up hope on, GOD is doing them now! I believe that HE will continue to finish what HE has started in me (and my husband). GOD has a plan and purpose (beyond us) for each of our marriages and HE will have HIS way with all of us! HE IS FAITHFUL!!

THIS IS ALL GOD!! EVERY GOOD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED IS FROM HIM! (James 1:17). Thank YOU LORD JESUS and thank you RMI! No one but our GOD could have fashioned this Awesome Ministry!

And now, without confidence in the flesh I am pressing on toward the goal!

~ Janie in California, Former Fellowship Member, Gratefully RESTORED!



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