Living Proof

When I Completely Let Go!! 805

My restoration all began when my marriage started falling apart! My husband and I were not communicating at all, and I was terrible to hold grudges for a long time—very unforgiving! We hardly spent any time together, and we were like roommates who hated living together.

But under all the unhappiness I loved him, and never realized he was going to leave me! I was blind to the destruction that was happening in our marriage! My husband left me for another woman he met through his business. He told me he was divorcing me and no longer loved me.

I found RMI while surfing the web, but didn't look into the fellowship the first time. It was a friend (through a prayer group) that brought me back to your website and convinced me to join. Erin's tapes kept me so encouraged—I listened to them in the car, at work, at home—all the time! The books were all wonderful too. The workbook and Restore Your Marriage are so important to help reveal changes you may need to make in your marriage and life. These are the best place to start!

I have two ePartners, one from before I was restored and one who is restored. They have both been very encouraging and supportive! They have helped boost me when I was down in certain circumstances, and reminded me to trust in the Lord. Thank the Lord for His direction and your ministry! I couldn't have come this far without your help!!

God began changing me and showing me all the mistakes I had made in my marriage. He showed me how damaging my unforgiveness was, and my hardened heart. He showed me how I never trusted my husband, or loved him and the children like he wanted me to—as Christ loved the church! God taught me how to love unconditionally, without being hurt by everything my husband was doing. He taught me how to see my husband through HIS eyes!

As I pressed into the Lord, seeking Him for answers and turning to Him for love, comfort, and support, I felt peace in my situation. I felt joy even though there was pain all around me! Things would turn around and work out in my favor most of the time, and if they didn't, I would praise God anyway—knowing it was for my good in some way! I found peace in all things, because I was living for Jesus and no longer living for myself or for my husband!!

God taught me to be a loving, peaceful wife. I learned to NOT BE a contentious woman! He showed me how to stop sneaking around looking through my husband's things for proof that he was not being faithful. I started to love my children and lead them to the Lord, learning to depend on Him for all our needs while the Lord led me and comforted me! I began to get out of my husband's way, and he started to lead our family!! I learned to be in agreement with him in all things.

God helped me through the divorce papers, just being able to read them and respond to my husband regarding all of his conditions (in which after learning RMI's principles, I agreed to whatever he wanted). He also helped me through the pain of having my husband move the other woman to our area—which hurt tremendously! I did not want her anywhere near me or my family!! But God had a plan, so I trusted Him, and continue to believe His word.

I believe that finally letting go was our turning point! It took a long time for me to quit calling him because we talked often about the kids, etc. Once I COMPLETELY let go, and handled everything on my own, he seemed to miss me more. He called often, he came over more, and spent more time with us! I believe it wasn't till then that I could see how much he was being drawn to me. That's when he began making many wonderful comments about us!

We were having lunch together when he told me he wanted to come home, but he didn't know how to tell the other woman! We cried and held each other!! He hurt over the pain he caused everyone involved and hurt over the pain he was going to cause the other woman when leaving her. It was another couple of weeks before he actually came home, due to the circumstances. It was actually another three months before he moved his things home.

My restoration was slow and full of trials, but I am very thankful to God for it! God knew it would happen just as He had planned!! I certainly grew more patience during this trial!!

Jana in Arkansas

Thank God I found RMI !! 571

In March of 2000, my husband left me intending to marry his "love." I sought help and prayer from Restore Ministries, and purchased the books and tapes to read and listen to. I was devastated!

However, I read the book and listened to the tapes daily. Then, praise the Lord just a couple of days before divorce was to be final, my husband canceled it! It was only the Lord who could have done this!! With in a few months, my husband returned home in —then, just 15 months later he left again.

As I sought the Lord I was able to get through the days, do my job, and attend to personal items. I did have a couple of accidents because I was so shaky and nervous. I ate sunflower seeds, but thankfully did not resort to more addictive things. I became more submissive minded and developed more patience. I was also able to continue my church music ministry and slept with my Bible (reading it until I fell asleep)—it was such a comfort!

As I sought the Lord, God began to change my situation! My husband began to call me and talk on the phone. I just kept telling him I loved him and gave him to God and I would keep on praying. At the point when "she" wanted just a weekly affair, he said “no” and the relationship was ended! He called me and we began seriously discussing his return!!

God taught me many principles that led to my restoration. I learned to spend more time in God's Word, in prayer, and learned to depend on the Lord for daily sustenance: of body and soul. At one point, I felt the Lord saying, "He'll be back." From that point on, I felt more positive about my restoration! I really became aware of the verses in the Bible about why a husband would want, or not want, his wife. I worked through the workbook about tearing my house down.

It was all so difficult, but God brought me through! My nerves were shattered, my stomach was twisted, and eating was a problem. For the first time in my life, I didn't want food! Supermarkets made me sick!!

When this all began, at the beginning of my restoration journey, I often cried during the church service, with tears running down my cheeks as I directed the choir.

The real turning point of my restoration had to have been when my husband canceled the divorce—and said his faith in prayer was renewed!

When my husband returned, he did not return to church for a time. It took six months, and then at Christmas time he came back to church. Yes, I wanted to shout about it all!  The church people were friendly and welcomed his return. PRAISE THE LORD!!

Thank God I found you, RMI, when I was searching for help on line! Your resources helped and I would you recommend the RYM book, all your tapes and especially your workbook to everyone!

In my present situation, I know that not praying together as much, not reading the Bible together had played a big part in our "cooling off." I shall resume the RMI program and know that God can revive my restoration now. It is so important to keep God at the center of our lives, and follow His Word!

~ Eileen in Texas

I am Forever a Soldier for Christ!!! 2366 iTffany in Texas

Let me start from the beginning so that you know what a tremendous miracle my restoration is. My husband and I were married under "extreme" circumstances. We were both in college and I was 7 months pregnant with our first daughter. I had “knowledge” about God but did not "know" Him to be my Lord and Savior. As a result, I followed in the footsteps of all the other women I knew: I was bossy, demanding, manipulative, deceptive and violent. I degraded my husband and questioned his authority and intelligence constantly!

Then, after five short years of marriage, I was surprised that he was ready to leave me. Years earlier, I had suspected that he was planning to escape, and I tried to manipulate him into staying by getting pregnant with our second daughter, but the plan failed. For months, he talked of having a "trial separation" to see if we could work things out without living together, but when I refused to agree with him, he took it to another level. That’s when he decided to divorce me. “Agree with your adversary quickly while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge” (Matthew 5:25). He came to my job and served me personally with divorce papers—I was heart-broken. I tried to beg, plead, and negotiate with him to not leave me this way, but God had turned his heart far from me.

I then took matters into my own hand, so as to show him that I would not be defeated—I was very much a feminist at this time. I gave him an ultimatum that if he didn't give up his plans to separate and divorce me, I would leave town. In the end, I packed up our two daughters and moved 300 miles away to seek the comfort of friends and family from this “cruel, evil man.” I had only been separated from my husband for three weeks when the Lord began to beckon to me. I was on a marriage ministry chat line, and one of the members gave me the link to RMI. I ordered the "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" book, and was broken the very first night. I quickly obeyed Erin's principles, and was on the road to restoration!

There were many losses and victories as I sought the Lord for restoration. As I began to apply the RMI principles and study the Bible, I began to change inside and out. Before my marriage crumbled, I was overweight and contentious, but as I began to fast and pray, pounds began to drop off and my countenance became more “gentle.” Earlier, I did not see my children as the blessings that Psalm 127 say they are; I yelled at them and didn't want to spend time with them. When the Lord began to convict me about "getting my house in order," I began to realize that not only did He want to restore my marriage; He wanted to restore my relationship with my children and my family also!

I became a zealot for the Lord, and I worked with Him as He began to transform me into His image. As I began to fellowship with Him at 4:30 a.m. in the morning, He anointed me with the wisdom and discretion that I so desperately needed to see this battle through to the end.

As I began to radiate for the Lord (and put aside all jealousy, bitterness, and anger toward my husband, and anyone else for that matter), God began to change my situation, and my husband slowly began to come around more. When God was dealing with me on certain issues, He would deliberately keep my husband away to stretch my faith or refine me to His liking—He was testing me to see if I still idolized my marriage.

During this time, I began a love affair with the Lord that was so strong that I was willing to have Him as my Husband forever! I wanted my husband to come home, but I had the love of the Father and I was finally at peace—what more could a woman ask for?! Like in Erin's situation, my husband began to accuse me of being with another man, and like Erin, I confessed that I was in love with another man and His name was Jesus!

On New Year's Day, my two daughters and I prayed on our faces that God would bring daddy home. Three weeks later, my husband called me and told me that he had lost his job. We talked for several hours as he revealed the last two years of his life to me: the drugs, drinking, women, parties, darkness, and hopelessness. He had a girlfriend at the time, but even she had betrayed him, and he sought comfort with me, “the wife of his youth”! That same night, he moved his clothes home; within a week we were remarried, and within three weeks God blessed us with our third pregnancy!

God taught me during this trial, first and foremost, that I needed to be quiet and seek the Lord in everything. For many years, I was a gossip and slanderer, but praise God, He delivered me—I no longer have the "need" to talk to everybody about my problems—I go to the throne.

My husband never trusted me, as I always told our “family business” to others. Now, I want to be his crown and I edify him to others and sing his praises.

Also, the principle of praying the hedge of protection around your husband DAILY is something every woman must do. I prayed that the OW would lose interest in my husband, and she did. She moved out of my husband's home against my husband's wishes—he had no idea why she would leave, but I did!!

Also, the Lord taught me to put away any trace of a Pharisee spirit. The Lord led me to read the entire book of Matthew while my husband and children (and the OW, I found out later) were in Florida at a family reunion. As I read the book, I began to see how loving and kind Jesus was, even to the harlot and the socially undesirable. The Pharisees, however, questioned everything about Jesus and were hypocrites. I saw then that I was a "white-washed tomb"—I looked down on others who were dirty or in "open" sin.

At the time of this revelation, I was visiting my mother and her live-in boyfriend, and because they were "shacking up," I would not even acknowledge her boyfriend. I then began to see how wrong and judgmental I was. How I was professing to be a Christian, and yet I had a nasty attitude—this was not the witness that Jesus had... He was a "friend of sinners"! I quickly confessed and repented. Then I wrote to the brother that I had in prison (that I was so ashamed of), and apologized for ignoring him. I began to speak to my mother's live-in boyfriend and brought him a Christmas gift—he was so taken aback by my kindness that he began to call me his daughter. Now I am very careful not to think of myself more highly than I ought to and to always walk in love with everyone—especially sinners.

The most difficult time “was believing God” for the healing of my marriage when everyone else thought I was crazy. At one point, my mother even stopped talking to me and my mother-in-law said that it was what "I" wanted and not necessarily what God wanted. I would run to RMI or the Psalms each time and be immediately uplifted. There were times when I wanted to give up, but I had surrendered my life to God, and told Him that I would do it for Him.

Toward the end, I began to profess my faith to these non-believers, telling them that God was going to bring my husband home. I had seen God's hand in my life so many times that I finally believed that He was going to do this for me.

As my restoration drew closer, God began to lead me more and more into quiet time.

The turning point came when I began to truly believe that there was a living God and understand that this was not a battle of flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, and powers of the dark kingdoms. For so many years, I heard about God and believed in creationism, but did not have any faith to back it up.

God began to build my faith as He answered prayer after prayer. I became so close to the Lord that I could hear Him warn me about situations and people before they happened! Now, when I need to hear from the Lord, I go to my quiet place and He always speaks to my heart. The Holy Spirit became my Comforter, and I now know that I am forever a soldier for Christ. I do get weary and wonder if I will ever "get it right," but I now know that we must all go through levels of purification in order to be the effective witness that God wants us to be.

This is how my restoration happened. My husband did not come home because he felt "led by the Lord." Instead, God allowed him to be reduced to a loaf of bread, which humbled him enough to come home to his wife and children. God is still doing a work in my husband and me. The enemy is still attacking my husband so much so that he doubts if it was the right decision to come home. I must keep quiet and stay close to the Lord as He transforms my husband into the leader, provider, protector, and priest of our homestead. My husband is resisting, much like I did in the beginning, but I know that God will gain the victory in the end.

So often, when you form a true relationship with the Father, and gain this wisdom and discretion that even older women do not have (I am only 29 and am amazed at how foolish and ignorant 50-year old Christian women are when it comes to marriage and family), you can become self-righteous and/or legalistic. God has dealt with me and will continue to deal with me in this area of spiritual arrogance. He cannot use me or anyone else in a state of pride. Right now, my marriage is the thorn that God has placed in my life to keep me running back to Him and to keep me from becoming conceited.

I would recommend RMI resources since they were my rock when I thought my husband would never come home, when he told me he was seriously involved with another woman and would not leave her for me, when everyone turned away from me and I was alone. I watched the tapes over and over and listened to the CDs when I went to bed at night. These books and CDs accompanied me to work, church, road trips, and anywhere else I thought I would have free time. I pore over these materials to this day, because we can never be too grounded and think we "know it all." Let not a man think he stands lest he falls.

I was a part of the Restoration Fellowship, but it did not produce the fruit that it was designed to produce. I was linked with an ePartner. However, we violated the principles early on because instead of encouraging one another and growing closer to the Lord, we both began to gossip about others and uncover our husband's nakedness. Instead of growing closer to the Lord, we began to grow closer to each other—calling each other every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, talking on the phone for hours at a time, and basically looking to each other for healing instead of the Great Physician.

God allowed this for a season, and then He took me into the desert and began to speak to me about my decisions regarding my restoration and why it was not coming to pass. He broke off the relationship with this ePartner and made me solely dependant on Him—praise God! Approximately six months later, He brought my beloved husband home. Ladies, be warned, if you are contacting your ePartner daily for "prayer" or "encouragement," this is violating RMI principles and could be jeopardizing your restoration—“with many words transgression is unavoidable”!

I prayed for three years for God to give me the testimony of a restored marriage, I even practiced in my car how I would tell others of how God brought my husband home. Now, on the other side of restoration, I am finding life to be much more painful and difficult than I had anticipated. My husband is not "comfortable" in his new surroundings and is longing to “go back to Egypt.” I have been given a measure of faith and wisdom greater than any Christian woman I know, and yet I find it hard to contain all that I know with my "one-flesh" mate. And when I do share it with him, he gets scared and confused and turns away from me. I have learned to just shut up about the principles and Scriptures, but when he wants to "talk," I don't know how to "talk" without ultimately referring to my Lord.

My husband now knows that his place in the home is as a provider, but he still doesn't know how to live up to it.

Unfortunately, I wasn't making it much easier for him as I began to propose that I stop working and homeschool, and the man doesn't even have a stable job! I am still a work in progress! I so much want my husband to walk by faith and not by sight, but God has disciplined me severely when I try to play junior Holy Spirit—I then realize that this is HIS testimony and not MINE!

Tiffany in Texas

God is Sovereign—I Will Rest in Him!! 585

Before the Lord directed me to RMI, I felt as if I was in complete darkness. I was afraid, anxious, bitter, angry, and I had a whole bunch of negative emotions. It seemed easier to hear the enemy's voice than the Lord's. My flesh seemed soooooo much stronger than my spirit.

I had heard the Lord talking at times but I didn't know how to put into place the things that He was telling me. It took a counselor telling me that she thought I was so depressed that I should take anti-depressants to finally get my attention! It took a crisis of faith and a deep search for what I really believed.

God helped me to surrender to Him by helping me see how to put some of what He had been telling me (all along) into action. His main words to me had been to walk in humility and to focus on my relationship with Him, not my non-relationship with my husband. He helped me to release my husband to Him. He strengthened me to let go of the contempt and bitterness that I had been nursing and allowing, which poisoned and confused me.

God changed my situation and I began to feel 100% better. I could interact with my husband without lashing out or withdrawing completely. He opened the eyes of my heart to learn more about His character and who I am as His child. Then my husband started to speak more kindly to me and to seek out interaction with me.

The Lord taught me that He is sovereign, and that if I believe that, I need to rest in Him. He taught me that the ways of the world are not His ways at all. He taught me that anything I meditate on that is not of Him is an idol against Him. That really shook me, because my heart's desire is to glorify and worship Him with my life.

The turning point of the restoration of my marriage was when my husband came over on Good Friday. He said that God had been working in his life. He told me that the Lord told him to ask people to pray for a miracle, so he did. He said that he knew our home was where he was supposed to be, and that he had bought the deception of the enemy, which is what caused him to leave. He said that he knew it would take time. God allowed me to tell my husband that I would give him all the time and grace he would need.

This is how my restoration happened: my husband's very nature toward me and about being in our home changed. He became more physically affectionate, he desired to hear what I had to say to him, and he began to share more with me. Over the course of a couple weeks, he gradually moved himself back into our home. It is glorious and all credit and glory to God!!!!

I found RMI through a dear gentleman from my church who had known about my situation. He was in a similar situation. One day in church he approached me and gave the website telling me that it had really ministered to him.

Your resources helped me to see what it looked like to act out what the Lord had been trying to get across to me. The Restore Your Marriage book was particularly helpful.

Lindsay in Ohio

Restored even after MY Adultery!! 1196

My husband and I had only been married for a year and a half when we separated! I had never been married before (this was his second marriage) so I did not know how to really treat a man with respect and consideration. That is not to say that he was perfect either but he did treat me right from the beginning. I honestly believe, because I treated him so badly and made his life so miserable, that I began to see him back away from me and lose respect for me.

One of our big problems was our level of spirituality. He was very involved in church and made God a priority in his life. I, on the other hand, attended “at times,” but could do without the actual church experience. I basically only prayed when I needed something or got into trouble. I treated my husband very badly and always spoke of divorce or separation. Then, one day he came home and left, stating that was what I wanted.

After freaking out for about a week or so, I began to get it together. I moved out and got my own place with our daughter. I got a job and started to support myself. I had nowhere else to turn and began to see that God allowed this to happen for a reason. He would begin to change me and I would begin to feel the humility that I was due!

That’s when I found RMI. I give you the credit for leading me in the right direction. I began to understand that God wanted me all to Himself and that only when He had gotten me to a certain point, then things would change for my situation.

During my new walk with the Lord, I learned to trust in Him only. I think I had made a mistake before of looking to my husband to make me happy and blaming him for everything wrong. I learned that God is in control of things, not me. It was SO hard to give up control and just follow blindly! But as I began to do that, my situation started to change! The biggest change came after I fell flat on my face!

I allowed another man to come in and fill me with all the things I was not receiving from my husband. The enemy sent him for sure. He told me everything I had wanted to hear from my husband, and completely played on my emotions and vulnerability—and I allowed it! This was after I had been so involved in the Word!! I began to skip church and not look at your website anymore because of the guilt I felt! Although I was separated, I was still married, and had become an adulterer! I had reached an all time low!

My husband found out about my "adultery" but still loved me anyway and pursued me like he hadn't in the past five months we had been separated. I could not believe how open he became to me again, wanting to spend time with me every day (when before we only saw each other once a week on his terms). He also became intimate with me again, when before he did not want us to be intimate. He wanted us to work on ourselves and then come back together. He had an elaborate plan, but God had another one!

Incredibly, I met with him one day and told him I wanted a divorce. He asked me if there was someone else. When I blatantly lied to him about the adultery, he gave up himself. I received divorce papers days later. I felt so ashamed of myself. I was going to sign the papers. But then something inside me only wanted to be with my husband!

I immediately broke it off with the other man and went to my husband and confessed everything! We tried to get back together a few times in the next couple of months, but he was having trouble with that. He just kept getting to a point where he kept asking me to sign the divorce papers and would not talk with me anymore! I was so sad about it, but I knew God could turn it around.

I continued to lean on Him and pray for my husband. I prayed for the hedge of protection and that he would long for me again. I prayed that he would not be able to relax or be happy because deep down he wanted me but wouldn't admit it to even himself! He even went to a divorce recovery group and took his wedding ring off! I just sat still and waited for God to change things. I knew He was working "behind the scenes” no matter what it looked like. Everyone thought I was crazy because I kept telling them it would change and they would tell me they didn't believe it! I understood that they must not know my God!

This is how my restoration happened. After not seeing any hope from my husband for over a month, I began to find hope in the little things that I did see, even though to others, they were not a big deal. Then one day at church, they announced a men's retreat the upcoming weekend. I prayed that my husband would attend. They also announced a marriage seminar to take place about a month later! I silently prayed that he would feel some sort of desire to go. (He still attended our church, but went to a later service offered.)

That very day, I was waiting after church while my daughter played on the playground. My husband came over to ask me if I wanted to go to the seminar! I was pleasantly shocked! I agreed and told him I would love to. I knew that he was aware I still wore my ring and considered us married. We began to talk and see each other again!

The next weekend, he went to the men's retreat and when we saw each other after that, he told me he wanted us to move back in together again! I was amazed! God worked suddenly to turn things around and we moved back in together a month ago! God is so good!

I found you when I began searching for help for separated people, and came across your website. The stories I saw hit so close to home that I immediately joined your fellowship! Thank you all so much for giving me the encouragement I needed to go along with God's will for our marriage! 

I have recommended your ministry to several people who are having trouble in their marriage and even to those that have been divorced for years! My ePartner was great and very encouraging to me. It was nice to know there were people out there in the world praying for me. I also learned to fast and began to see great results from that!

Praise the Lord and thank you Restore Ministries for offering understanding and hope! I will never forget you!

Randi in Mississippi

The Glory is God's!! 661

 “I had always wanted to have a close walk with the Lord and would pray to Him to draw me closer. However, over time, I now see I drifted from the Lord and made my husband and our marriage my idol. At the same time, I was a very contentious and self-righteous wife and person. I thought I had the perfect marriage and perfect husband and patted myself on the back for being smart enough to pick him. I took my husband and our marriage for granted but most of all I had turned my back on my Lord and Savior, my first love.

One day, my husband came to me and told me that he only loved me as a friend and that I was weak and damaged and he wanted a chance to be happy with someone else. I was devastated. I couldn't eat or sleep and began to turn to the Lord. However, I was surrounded by people (many Christians) who told me that I shouldn't put up with my husband, I deserved better, even that my next marriage would be better! I felt overwhelmed and made a HUGE mistake.

I left my husband and went to stay with my family in another state. This pushed my husband into adultery, which he confessed to me once I returned. He said that he and the OW were just friend, but I told him that our marriage was over and then I asked him to leave.

Somehow, the Lord found me in my pit that I had created, and gave me the grace to forgive my husband. I called him and left a message for him saying I forgave him and he returned home. I wish I could say that our marriage was restored at that point, but it was not. It was at this time that searching on the Internet that I found RMI. I remember reading the words that this was not accident—that I had found this ministry as a preordained appointment with God!

Through the ministry, God changed me. The Lord convicted me of all the ways I had betrayed my husband and our marriage and especially my Lord. I have worked, and been tested (and continue to be tested) with putting the Lord first and trusting Him—NOT what I am seeing with my eyes.

The God began to change my situation. There were times, however, that I felt I could not go on. But each time, as I would give it to the Lord, He would find me and be so faithful to pick me up and dust me off.

I still struggle so much, especially now that my husband and I are restored and living together. It seems things have almost become more difficult. But I know the devil is really working hard to keep our restoration from enduring because he knows the Glory is God's!!

God taught me first to be agreeable and not be contentious. Most of all I learned I must put the Lord first. I was so self-righteous in many areas of my life and I am so disgusted by this behavior and what it has cost the Lord's Kingdom by turning others away from, instead of to, the Lord's Word. My most difficult challenge, right now, is to stay focused on “Letting Go” and “Letting God.” I want so much for this restoration to be complete that I sometimes forget how far God has taken us and need to remember He is faithful to complete the good works that He started, not me.

I am very interested in being a part of our RMI’s restored group. I feel I need the community and support now more than ever so that I may stand strong and give God the Glory. I know that our complete restoration is coming soon and I want to be careful not to let the enemy steal God's victory."

Tina in California

Trust and Wait! 224

God bless you all and I hope that my praise report will be encouraging to all.

For the last two years, I have kept silent on my praises until now. Although my husband never left our home physically, mentally he was not here. He was in adultery for two and a half years, and he slept at her apartment every night for two years. I was devastated and in shock, but I knew that I had to seek God with all of my heart and all of my soul.

God placed women and your ministry in my path to encourage me and to lift me up. I will not tell you what I endured for the last two years, but only that I had to put my total trust in the Lord.

After submitting to my husband totally, as unto the King of Kings, He finally answered my prayer, and turned my husband’s heart to me, and reconciled us both! My husband has been home every night since then.

I am praising Him everyday and continue to ask the Lord to change me, and to heal and restore my marriage completely so that we can both walk in unity spiritually. Our God is an awesome God!

My word to all the ladies is to Trust and Wait!

Provi in New Jersey

Thursday, 10/10/13, Daily EncouragerCheryl in Scotland; I’ve experienced a Restored Marriage

To all you women without children - God wants to restore your marriage.  And to all you women in the UK - God lives here too...!

I was only married for 6 months when it just turned even more sour and nasty by the day and I kept telling myself "This is not my happy Christian marriage I signed up for."

There were constant battles about money, housework, differences in opinions and crockery flying.  We never went to church because we were falling away.  I found out things about my husband that made me tell him I was ashamed I married him and I would scoff that I’d never be able to bring children into our marriage, how much I hated him and that everyone told me never to marry him.  Then I eventually was so exhausted and had enough of fights that I told him I was leaving, I'd had enough of this marriage, and he also would have to find somewhere else to live.  This in turn led to a fight that turned nasty and the police had to intervene.

Well, I was all for filing for divorce and starting again, maybe even being single the rest of my life.  A life of quiet sounded like bliss.  But one day I am sure I felt God tell me He wanted to restore my marriage and I was to pursue this. O.K.?!  I searched for all the scriptures on marriage I knew and had to have it confirmed - God’s will for my marriage. I must say that God gave me a good telling off for my contentious behaviour and taught me many lessons. However, He is a gentle forgiving Father.

Nobody was with me.  Not my Christian parents, who gave me “what for?”and said "best of luck with that!", when I told them God was going to restore my marriage.  My Christian friends tried their best but after a few glasses of wine, gave me the sympathetic head tilt...apparently God doesn’t do that!

So I learned I just had to shut up.  This was my journey to go and My God.  And eventually I came across your ministry.  Which confirmed everything and which I must admit, I devoured in a whole 7 days - then had to let my brain cool down.

Up to this point I had zero contact with my husband or his family, didn’t even know where he was.  I felt in my heart I had to write to him and apologise for my part in events.  This didn’t sit well in my mind as the material says NEVER to contact them.  But it kept stirring in me and I prayed for favour and after a few days, I just had to do it.  This letter opened up the doors of communication and we have spoken via SMS every day and met up for a couple weekends away.

In our time apart, God has been talking to my husband too and he has returned to church and has been listening to Christian radio and praying and declaring. about "exceedingly and abundantly beyond all I can ever imagine..."

Husband is due to come home to live tomorrow...Praise GOD!  We have a court case to go through first which is not nice but unavoidable and the enemy is trying his best to intimidate...he knows his time is up!  But I know who goes before me and has prepared the way.  A new journey starts from here.

My advice is that there is no secret formula when it comes to the things of God. You only have to remember who's your Daddy?!  The King of Kings. What does that make you?  A PRINCESS.  An heiress with all authority in your hands and the enemy under your feet. God knows you.  He made you.  He loves you and wants to heal your life.

~Cheryl in Scotland

Ministry Note from Erin: I am thrilled that Cheryl listened to the Lord who led her to contact her husband. The truth is, in the RYM book it says that if YOU are the one who left or kicked your husband out, then you ARE to be the one to contact your husband not wait for him. The "no contact" is for the majority of women whose husbands have left on their own accord.

Thursday, 11/28/13, Daily Encourager Submitted by: Stephanie in South Carolina; I’ve Experienced a Restored Marriage, I’ve taken or am currently taking one of the Rebuilder’s Courses.


In June of this year, my earthly husband walked out on me with no explanation. I was married on June 7th and ten days later my earthly husband left. It left me feeling lost and confused. Although I felt my marriage was over, I had a peace within me which left me more confused. I had no idea that my earthly husband had a drug problem until the night of our honeymoon. I love my earthly husband dearly and wanted him to come home to work on our marriage. However, he would not talk to me. No one believed that my marriage was worth being restored, and many, except one woman, felt I should seek a divorce. None of them suggested that I seek God. While on a prayer room site Ramona, one of the RMI ministers reached out to me and shared the first chapter of “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage.” I had witnessed two restored marriages, so I knew God was able to restore mine.


I read the entire chapter of the book that same night. It gave me the determination to follow everything God instructed me to do. The further along I walked with God, the more I began to change. God redirected my focus from my marriage to my relationship with Him. I thought that my attendance in church and knowledge of scripture meant I was fine. I didn't realize that I was living a big lie. I gave my life to the Lord when I was young and had a strong walk with Him until I reached college. Since then I returned to the Lord but I struggled with the hurt and lies my church taught me. It was a constant battle between the worldly teachings of the church and my christian walk with God.  When He got a hold of me, He removed the dark cloud of sin surrounding my life. I was prideful, arrogant, greedy, bossy, a know-it-all, mean-spirited, and impatient. I was ashamed at how I treated my earthly husband and loved ones. I asked God to change me no matter how much it hurt. I refused to get off the potter's wheel. The Lord beat, shook, pressed and molded me in all sorts of ways. I learned to bring everything only to God and feed myself daily on His Word. I fasted to die to my flesh and eliminated everything that distracted me from hearing God's Word. I allowed Him to renew my mind from years of wrongful thinking.


I sought God in all I did. I allowed Him to use my life as an open book to share with others about the happiness they could have through Christ. There were times when it became hard for me and I became lonely. I tried to fill my loneliness through the company of other men. However, God convicted me to let Him fill my void. Through my trials and testing I learned that obedience to God is the key to a life of peace and joy.


My final test in obedience came when the Lord asked me to take the “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage” book to my previous pastor. I didn't understand why. I felt that since she was a pastor, she should know that God can restore marriages. I remained obedient and leaned not on my own understanding. On a Sunday I got up, placed the book in a gift bag, and presented it to my pastor as a gift.


On that Monday, I received an e-mail from my earthly husband at work. We work for the same company and on the same floor. He said he needed to speak with me. Trust me I was nervous. I prepared myself for rejection because that is what I encountered all my life. We met in the middle of the floor. As soon as he saw me a big smile came across his face and he hugged me. He said that he had been praying and wanted to restore our marriage. I stood there shocked and in silence. I told him I had a meeting to attend and he said he would walk me to the meeting. He commented on how quiet and gentle I was. He kept telling me I was his wife and asked me if I realized it. He said he felt a part of him was missing while he was away from me. My earthly husband thanks God for blessing him with me. He said that seeing and talking to me was the happiest he has been in four months.


Ladies, this was all God. I couldn't have done this alone. I recommend RMI and its resources to all women whether single or married. Please, whatever you do, draw closer to God. Be obedient to all He leads you to do. Follow His Word and the principles laid out for us in this Ministry. It is through our obedience to God that we experience greater blessings, joy and peace that He has stored up for us.


~Stephanie in South Carolina


Friday, 11/1/13, Daily Encourager Submitted by:  Martha in Michigan; I’ve experienced a RESTORED MARRIAGE

Hello, my name is Martha and I am sitting on our bed, typing my restoration testimony : ) to share with you!! Here is a little bit about what happened that I hope will encourage each of you!


My husband and I were married 6 months and fought constantly! I was contentious and always right. I mothered him, knew it all and belittled him. Every time I threw one of my tantrums, he was always the one to apologize just to keep the peace and then he “checked out”. I lived at home but he wanted nothing to do with me and I was rejected constantly. After a few months and with mostly fleshly attempts, we reconciled and things were better. Then the fighting started again and my attitude was right back to where it was. Then one year after the first time he "checked out", he told me he wanted a divorce.


But Praise God that He changed me and is continuing to mold me more into His image!! My closest friends have mentioned to me how much I've matured. I had an overbearing and nagging attitude and now I listen and don't give my opinion unless he asks! As I sought the Lord with all my heart for His face and not His hand, He turned my husband's heart. He wants to be Lord of our lives!!


The principles that I hold dearest are kindness on the tongue, quiet and gentle Spirit, tithe to your storehouse and seek the Lord with zeal! The Lord taught me that He is my husband and He will never let me down, He will always be around, I can ask Him anything and He will always have the perfect answer. He will never reject me and always love me.


The most difficult times were when we had no contact for weeks, when he would flaunt his new and great life and tell me what I did wrong and why we couldn't be together. It was hard to see our home turned into his home and lose friends.  


I believe my “turning point” came after I made my mind up and kept it set to follow ALL the principles in the RYM Book that come directly from God's Word!  I had been tithing to another ministry and not my storehouse, I was double-minded by allowing this ministry and another restoration ministry to feed me and I was not writing down verses on 3X5 cards. I started doing those things that I thought didn't apply to me, although RMI taught them!  I was deceived! I then began fasting more, spending more time with God and began re-reading the RYM Book. I decided I would stop dreaming up how our restoration would occur and made my mind up to make God my Husband. I went to Him with my worries and anxieties. I want to say that I would not have been able to do any of the above if it wasn't for God and asking Him to help me.


Just last month after I had a fearful urgency to speak to my husband about our reconciliation, he rejected me! Of course he did though! I went against the principles taught and if you do what you know is wrong, it is a sin to you. Thank the Lord for His mercy. My husband then told me that we would talk about it more in depth the next day or later on in the week, which did not happen. Slowly he started taking me to furniture stores and asking my opinion on them. I didn't think much of it. In fact I tried not to say anything or give my opinion like I always had. He finally had to say "Please tell me your personal opinion. I want to make sure you like it because if you move back, and that will probably be the case, I want you to like it. "I smiled and nodded. I knew that had I been eager at this point, he would've regretted saying that.  


Just one week later on his birthday after taking him out to dinner, opening presents and spending additional time with friends, he asked me to come home. He told me he loved me for the first time in 8 months and said he couldn't wait till we had kids! He said he wanted to work on things and that he hopes it works out. So here I am, one day later, sitting on our bed typing my restoration testimony :).


Side note: I also want to mention that I grew up being frugal and always had an opinion about how much was spent on EVERYTHING. I liked setting budgets on everything including dinner and presents. I heard the Lord tell me to really treat my husband for his birthday and I actually had a lot of fun doing it!  My husband even told ME to not get him something I had picked out because it was too expensive, it was $45. That was not my husband speaking!


I would recommend the Daily Encourager so we can renew our mind daily, doing the courses and reading and re-reading the RYM Book. We need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind! Also please do not tell anyone about your situation.


In conclusion I want to encourage women to not allow the devil to steal from you any longer. Follow God wholeheartedly, He will be with you. Run toward the goal of making God Lord of your life and never look back. Read the Word so you know what the truth is and what a lie is. Don't entertain the lies! When a lie tries to enter into your mind, replace it with the truth! Guard your heart.

~ Martha in Michigan RESTORED

Submitted by:  Shandricka in Kansas; I’ve experienced a Restored Marriage


All praises to God for all that He has done! Words cannot express the joy in my heart. On August 19th my husband put me and our children out of our home for the OW. He told me he didn't want me anymore and he was going to file for divorce. My 4 girls and I moved in with my mom and dad. I spent a lot of time crying and looking for answers as to why. Then God begin to deal with me. I started reading the Word all the time and attended church. I begin fasting and praying. A dear friend of mine and my pastor also fasted and prayed with me.

There were times that things looked so hopeless. There were no calls, texts, or anything from him. Even when I tried contacting him he would treat me badly and told me to leave him alone. Well, I never gave up on God. I knew God hates divorce and I was determined that somehow God would fix it. Reading the testimonies and praying helped me make it through the hardest times.

On September 22, late at night, my husband texted me. I was asleep so I didn't get the message until the next morning! He just texted me out of the blue--I was not expecting him to tell me he wanted to work things out. He told me he didn't want a divorce and he wants to work things out!! He said he was no longer with the OW. And he does not want to lose me. I was so overjoyed.

The girls and I are in the process of moving back home. I would definitely recommend RMI's resources and I want to encourage other women as well. For those that are standing for their marriages--Do not give up! GOD is able to do any and everything! He is able! Do not give up hope no matter how hopeless the situation looks. God works behind the scenes.

~ Shandricka in Kansas RESTORED

Tuesday, 12/24/13, Daily Encourager Submitted by: Sherri in Texas; I’ve Experienced a Restored Marriage, I’m a RMIEW Minister.


My initial journey began when I was led to RMI in July 2004. My husband and I had been married for 20 years. I was his third wife. I was separated from my husband with two small kids who cried for him everyday. I was desperate to find a solution to put my marriage back together. I grew up in the church but was given a lot of bad advice; advice that went against God’s Word and what He commands us to do. While at work I typed in the words “marriage restoration” and was led to Restore Ministries International. I read Erin's testimony and thought it was the most incredible thing I'd ever heard. No one, not in my church, my family or any friend had ever given me the hope I received from RMI. I knew then that God would restore my marriage and He was the answer I had been looking for.


My husband and I were separated for two and a half years. During that time, I devoured the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage (often known as RYM), A Wise Woman, and the Workers at Home books. I couldn't get enough of God’s truths that were contained within their pages. The more I read, the more broken I felt and the more I knew that unless I submitted my life to the Lord, things in my marriage and my life would never change. I was in so much emotional pain that I knew God would have to completely heal me. Although God did heal me of my pain, I was only willing to let Him heal me partially. I only did what I needed to do to bring my husband home. The Lord was not my primary focus, and I didn’t consider Him as my Husband. I fooled myself into believing that God had changed me completely but He wasn’t through with me yet.


After God restored my marriage to my husband, I was ecstatic and once again the Lord was not first in my life. I put off helping others, as God wanted me to do, and once again fell into that ditch of contention. The old destructive anger and spiritual arrogance resurfaced. I wasn't walking in God's forgiveness or His amazing love and I found it almost impossible to forgive. This went on for years. However, God in His love and grace for me showed me mercy and blessed me (and my husband) with two restoration babies, which I prayed for during our separation. My husband said that he felt unloved, and I didn’t trust him with my feelings or to make any of the financial or other decisions for our family. Eventually the inevitable happened. I tore down my house and once again God removed my husband from me.


This time, I just knew that God would not restore my marriage. I was so angry and "fed up" that I didn't want Him to restore it. We were separated numerous times prior to this one and both had committed adultery during our marriage. I even stopped wearing my wedding ring when I found out about the OW. I felt extremely hurt, angry, discouraged, humiliated, and rejected all over again. I didn't want the constant reminder, through my wedding band, of my pains and failures, nor did I want to be physically attached to my husband. I began to believe what others were telling me about my marriage -- there was no hope, my earthly husband would never change, and I should just divorce him, move on and find someone else. I was completely double-minded. I would have days when I wanted my marriage restored and days when I didn't. Whenever I considered divorce, God would bring me back to His Word and confirm to me that He hates divorce and doesn’t want this for me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but I did remember the peace and love I felt when I'd gotten closer to the Lord the first time on my journey. I wanted that feeling back. My two older children were full of anger over the separation and the two younger ones were confused. Neither my family nor my in-laws wanted us to remain married. In fact, my in-laws remained friends with my husband’s second wife. However, I wanted God's best for our family and victory over everything the enemy was trying to do to destroy us. I lost hope that my marriage would be restored again especially since I received the truth twice and still messed up. Through the teeter tottering of my emotions, God kept bringing the RYM book and Wise Woman books, and it’s principles to the surface of my mind. I knew I wasn’t the wife God called me to be. I learned the principles detailed in these books but stopped applying them. He kept pursuing me about them and I gave in, thinking that perhaps I should re-read them and re-join RMI. I obeyed God and rejoined RMI. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned what my role as a wife and mother was, and that God was to be first in my life in everything I do. I felt such conviction when the truth was revealed to me. It started such a desire to live a life pleasing to God. I finally found the truth that I'd been looking for but couldn't find, not even in my own home church.


I enrolled in the courses offered through RMI and began studying God's Word regularly and read the Encouragers and Praise Reports daily. This helped to re-establish hope in my heart. I promised the Lord that I would let Him restore, rebuild, and renew my life. Unlike the first time, this time around I found my First Love, surrendered my all to Him, and discovered that narrow path that leads to the abundant life God has for me! He taught me that no one is ever going to love me more than He does, and that He does not like when I place other people or things first in my heart where only He belongs. He reminded me the importance of forgiveness and how to watch what I say to those who have authority in my life, especially my earthly husband. God showed me how to be His bride and have a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to Him. He taught me how to love those who are unlovable and unforgivable. He led me to be nonjudgmental and understanding of others so I may have healthy relationships and not put myself in a position to be abandoned or abused. God taught me how to be an encouraging woman; a minister of reconciliation to other hurting ladies and the Titus woman that Erin and so many others who send in encouragement have been to me. The Lord showed me how to be obedient through my sufferings. He taught me how to take every concern and every aspect of my life to Him and to trust only Him with my life - both on earth and in eternity. Through my tough times, God prodded me to submit blindly by getting out of the boat like Peter and keeping my eyes centered on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. The Lord taught me how to enjoy every day of my journey with Him. He showed me that He is never going to leave me or forsake me. God taught me so many wonderful things that I did not know.


Those wonderful things the Lord showed me were not easy to learn. I had to constantly die to self and press into the Lord closer so He could increase His presence in my life. There were times where I had to show love and respect to those people who were out to emotionally and spiritually harm me. The Lord showed me how to turn the other cheek. "But I [Jesus] say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. To anyone who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek as well; to anyone who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for your property back from someone who takes it. “Treat others as you would like people to treat you...” You will have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High for He Himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked." (Luke 6:27-31,35) For the first time in my life, He became my all and everything and I was no longer concerned with earthly matters, including my marriage. I was content to live a life of “singleness”, as Erin and so many women in this ministry have expressed, with my Wonderful Husband.


I did not give my marriage or the affairs of my husband any thought. I kept my focus on the Lord and His promises to me. My earthly husband would tell me (or our children) that he was coming home but it no longer mattered. I continued to encourage others. I had, and still do, such a deep desire to live a life that not only pleases the Lord but also a desire to help other hurting women to put their faith and trust in The Lord. I wanted, for a few years now, to be more fruitful in my life. I was genuinely delighted hearing or reading restoration testimonies for other women. When my focus was completely off of my marriage and I was content in my circumstances, the Lord blessed me with a restored marriage.


My encouragement to you is to really seek the Lord. Give Him your whole heart in every area of your life. Don't hold anything back. It may be painful but only for a season. On the other side of pain is healing and restoration. I highly recommend ALL the resources that this ministry offers -- the books, videos, daily Encouragers, the courses -- everything! Each resource helped me to renew my mind, restore me back to my First Love, and to rebuild my life on the solid foundation of God’s Word. I am eternally grateful for this ministry, Erin, all the Ministers and Ministers in Training who opened up their lives and encouraged me to keep pressing into the Lord and to not give up. It amazes me when I think of it or talk about it but I wouldn't change one thing that has happened on my Restoration Journey!


It is my heart’s desire for God to use me to help other hurting women, including my daughters, building their lives on the sinking sand of the world’s lies about their roles of being a wife, mother and child of the King. I don't want to just go to "church" and not have a more intimate relationship with God. I want to be able to lead my daughters and other women by word and deed, to desire to be all that God created us to be. God placed a desire in my heart to be a Godly wife and to honor my husband and be the helper suitable that He intended for me to be. I won’t let Satan win. Don’t let the enemy destroy you or your family thus leaving a life legacy riddled with sin to your children and future generations. God has an incredible love for you that you can't even fathom. He is such an awesome God and has such wonderful plans for us. He wants and deserves to be First in our hearts and in our lives. We've given that position to our spouses, or children or jobs, and none of them has satisfied us. I encourage you to give the Lord your heart and hold nothing back. The life He has for you will blow your mind!


Sherri in TexasSowing Hope Team & Home Fellowship