I Took Off My Wedding Ring; It Bothered Him the Most

I Took Off My Wedding Ring; It Bothered Him the Most

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Violeta, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Violeta, how did your restoration actually begin?

I often glorify God for what He did in my family, I often read the testimonies and thought that I would never write mine.

It all started quickly we were an example of Christians inside the church, he was an elder and I was the leader of the women's group. We were highly looked up to, and most referred to us as the perfect couple. The enemy knew this so he used his clever schemes, we shouldn't have been ignorant of since we'd be part of the church our entire lives, schemes to destroy us to end everything that God had created.

How did God change your situation Violeta as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

I sought the Lord untiringly with all my heart, begging God to take away the pain that was in my chest because my husband had left me. I prayed to the Lord, I fasted, I sought Him from dawn until dusk. From the beginning, I heard God telling me that He was going to restore my marriage. He told me to wait and wait on Him because He was working in silence.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Violeta, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

The principle that was hardest for me was to LET GO because when he left and I would call him all the time. Whenever he went, I knew I'd find he would be, where I would find him. I pursued him just as I'd told other women to do. As a stander, I would write, call, and find a way to get there, wherever he was. I knew that it bothered him, that I was actually driving Him away. I never realized until I read the book How God Can and Will Restore His Marriage, that I was a stander, standing in the way of my own restoration.

When I read the truth, about letting go, and stopped pursuing he really began to think I didn't care about him. The very first time he initiated any contacted was when surprised and called me, and asked why I did not care about him anymore and why I did not show up where he was. I told him I'd let go and he was free to be happy. Then, I took off my wedding ring and I know that it bothered him the most.

When I found my Heavenly Husband and fell deeply in love with my first Love, that's when I was able to fully let go and he said later that he could feel I was gone. And that's when my husband began to take all the steps to restore our marriage.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Violeta?

The weekends were always painful for me when Sunday service was over and I had to go home alone. I cried all the way and when I got home I had no tears to cry anymore. Yet the Lord was there comforting me and calming me in the moments of my despair. Then one day God told me to get my Bible, and when I opened my Bible I heard the Lord, my HH, speak to me.

He brought me to all the verses that clearly said that our husbands were to be our spiritual leaders, that women were to remain quiet in church, and so many other things I'd learned in course 2 but I dismissed thinking they didn't pertain to me.

He spoke to me about wanting to give me a makeover, to make me new on the inside to match what He'd done on the outside (I had lost close to 50 lbs.). But to do this I needed to leave the church.

After I left several women from the church contacted me and I was able to share with each one of them the truth I'd believed I was above. One woman asked if we could meet so she could hear more, and this started my new women's group.

Violeta, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

When I was seeking the Lord, my HH, at all times, at every moment and my focus was no longer my husband or my marriage being restored. I was focusing on helping other women, so many heard about our group and I began a second group in another city about this time.

I wasn't sure I wanted my marriage restored, but I remember reading in one of the courses that when we were spiritual mature we wanted His will, not our own. So I told God, "Your will be done."

As I went about town, I ran into many people and each was astonished by my change. Yes, my outward appearance was first, but when they spoke to me each mentioned how "different" I was and I knew they meant my “gentle and quiet spirit.” The more I wanted more of HIM the more He began to transform me.

One day I ran into my husband who said he'd heard from everyone how much I'd changed but had no idea I'd changed as much as I had. I thanked him, smiled and turned to leave. But as I exited the mall, I could see he was still there, standing and watching me leave.

Tell us HOW it happened Violeta? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Violeta, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Share with us HOW did this happen. Has your husband (or your friend) simply showed up? Did you (or your friend) suspect that this was close to that? *

As I said, I was no longer looking for my husband or calling him and when we ran into each other, I'd make the conversation brief and leave. Then without any warning, he sent a message to me: We Need to Talk! His texted almost sounded angry but I agreed and met with him.

He told me that he had gone to church and there God used a sister and she asked how I was. That's when he heard I'd left the church and he'd become alarmed. He was sure I was involved with someone else and came to ask me to stop, saying it was all his fault.

While speaking to my Beloved in my head and heart (the whole time my husband was speaking), I heard Him say to share what really happened, who I was in love with. So I was able to share everything with him. It felt like I spoke for 5-10 minutes but when I saw my husband crying, I looked out to see it was dark and I knew I'd been talking for hours. I am not sure all I said, I know I began confessing my faults and at some point how I'd fallen in love with my first Love, who I'd left soon after we'd met when I got saved.

What I said came from Him, because in the end, while crying, my husband asked us if I would be willing to restore our marriage. I said of course, that this would glorify God, and that day we were reunited and intimate as husband and wife.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Violeta?

I recommend the book: How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and also recommend buying and reading Streams in the Desert. Going through your  online courses will eventually lead to finding your HH. Finding the Abundant Life Course is when things really begin to change. And if you don’t start a group of your own, the easiest way to begin helping other women (and men too) is to have them open their phones and type in HopeAtLast.com so they can begin finding hope and the truth.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Violeta?


Either way Violeta, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

I would like to tell women who are in the desert that God will help you through this difficult time, but know that unless you're really His, and you act like a bride in love, your difficulties will continue. Without becoming His light in this dark world, no one, not even your husband will find his way back. There is truly nothing impossible for God. No matter what your husband is saying, no matter what other people or ministries tell you to do, do not listen to them. The only way to emerge victorious from this battle and experience the impossible, is to put Him first. I am here, today, with the message from God saying, "I am faithful. My Word is truth. Delight yourself in the Lord and I will give you the desires of your heart, every promise and even more.

These testimonies will be available in 

PAPERBACK (Coming December 2018)


By the Word of Their Testimony (Book 6): Proclaim the Good News to Everyone.

CLICK HERE to Pre-order your own copy to mark and read how others, like you, made it through their 

Restoration Journey and experienced a RESTORED MARRIAGE.